Missing Out

In Praise of the Unlived Life

By: Adam Phillips

Narrated by: Simon Shepherd

Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins

Publisher's summary

We all have two lives - the life we live and the life of our fantasies. But it is the life unlived - the person we have failed to be - that can trouble and even haunt us. In Missing Out acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips delves into the gap between who we are and who we are not, to discover whether not getting what we want may be the unlikely key to the fully lived life.

Adam Phillips is a psychoanalyst and the author of several previous books, all widely acclaimed, including On Kissing, Tickling and Being Bored, Going Sane and Side Effects. His most recent book is On Kindness, which was co-written with historian Barbara Taylor.

©2013 Adam Philips (P)2014 Audible Studios

A good introduction to psychoanalysis

If you could sum up Missing Out in three words, what would they be?

Human beings can't avoid failing

What was one of the most memorable moments of Missing Out?

Literature analysis.

Which character – as performed by Simon Shepherd – was your favorite?

Othelo

Any additional comments?

I recommend this book to everyone interested in psychoanalysis as after education. From literature analysis to clinical practice. Parents can't know every feeling or need of their children. Children want to satisfy their parents, but this is impossible. Mothers are supposed to know everything about their children needs, but this is impossible. The impossible knowledge amid lovers in general is the great issue of this book.

A bit boring

While the subject was interesting, the writing is stiff. The author needed to use more examples from life or literature to bring his "getting it" and "not getting it" to life. Perhaps it would have been easier to follow in print. I don't know. I got confused. And then bored.

Calm and thoughtful musings

I’ve read that Phillips says that he thinks psychotherapy is like poetry and it really shows here. A collection of well-phrased thoughts, gracefully connected and quietly and intelligently read. It’s very soothing listening.

Not a casual book but not difficult

Thought provoking in moments, repetitive often and generally interesting material. The narrator does well without being dry.

Enjoyed but not really understood

Listening to this was like trying to climb up a slippery pole. One second's inattention and I was at the bottom again. There were moments when I think I might have got to the top and the view was lovely but generally I let it wash over me. Ironic really as the first chapter is about the frustrations and hidden pleasures of 'not getting it'. What I could understand was thought provoking and very intelligent. I should have known as I've got one of his books and never got past page 10. Don't let me put you off but if you haven't got some understanding of psychoanalysis be prepared to get pleasantly lost.

Interesting but meandering

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

Interesting topic. The writing is not very focused, and often it's not clear what the point he's trying to make - other than to show that he's clever.
The central ideas of the book are nonetheless interesting ones to explore.