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Loving What Is

Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (1,674 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work". In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a 10-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now, in Loving What Is, you can discover the same freedom through The Work. 

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem." Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is. 

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You'll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work's power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

Please note: The audio makes reference to accompanying material that is not included with the purchase of this title.

©2002 Byron Kathleen Mitchell (P)2002 Audio Literature

Critic Reviews

"With warm and nicely chosen interventions with audience members, the authors demonstrate the essentials of accepting realities in others we can't change. It's a hard-charging message, at times relentless, that will shake up any listeners whose lives are held up because of nagging blame or anger toward others." (AudioFile)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

True Confessions of a Guru Junkie

BUY THIS TITLE. It rocks, it will so change your life if you let it. I am not a nutty new age weirdo, but I do like getting different perspectives on ways to truth. I have books by Deepak Chopra (good), Wayne Dyer (great), Stuart Wilde (good), and of course Byron Katie (awesome.) The beauty of this book is many fold. First, it is non-religious, non-preachy, no-nonsense, and simple. I find that assimilating information like this is easier with an audiobook than a hardcopy and this is especially true of "Loving What Is" because you actually get to hear Katie doing The Work with people on the program (that's the best part, in my opinion.) I have listened to it over and over and over, and each time I get something different out of it to complete the picture. There are moments you want to just laugh and laugh because you see so much of what is said in your own life and your own beliefs.
This is probably one of the best investments of my life, not to mention my book collection. I highly reccomend it. There are a lot of wackos out there, and some teachers that actually have something but don't know how to communicate it well. Katie has a simple message and she knows how to get it across. Katie is the real thing. I had the privelege of having dinner with her once and she is extremely present, she lives this Work every day and every moment. You will thank yourself for buying this title. I know I do all the time and have encouraged my friends and coworkers to check it out too.

51 of 51 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

simply amazing

I have been reading "self help" books for many years. This book is by far the best and probably the last I will ever need to read. It is simple and yet profound.

26 of 27 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

You can't argue with this!

I loved this audiobook even better than the hardback because we can actually hear the emotions as each of those consulting Katie begin in pain and end in laughter as she walks them through the four steps and a turnaround. The logic is easy to follow but I can imagine some listeners not getting how it's done right away (I didn't) but as a friend told me, if one listens to it several times, it gradually begins to sink in that our pain is our own creation and how to apply the steps to our own lives. In the end, who can argue with reality? I found all the stories, including Katie's, to be fascinating, and thought the book was well-structured, the audio clear and concise, and still interesting even on my 4th listen.

10 of 10 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

AMAZING

I have bought all three of her books and have enjoyed listening to them over and over. The audio is so much more powerful than the print format. All I can say is Byron katie changed my life. I highly recommend it to everyone who is suffering from his/her own thinking. It is illuminating!

19 of 20 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

changed my life

I've been listening to this audiobook almost everyday for a month now. The lessons didn't get to me until the 2nd week. I would usually listen to it while I'm doing something. What it does is not help you solve the things that are bothering you. But to look at it with understanding and appreciation. Once you've gotten this, your relationship with other people, with the world and most of all with yourself changes.

And unlike other self-help books that ask you to work on yourself, this one asks you to just realize the thoughts--thoughts that give you stress. Once you're aware of these thoughts, you will be able to accept them, like friends that have come to pass by. More importantly, this book gives you a method to realize these thoughts that Katie calls 'The Work'.

I'm just a beginner at using 'The Work', but it already has had profound changes within me. Now, everytime I become stress, I know that doing 'The Work' will allow me to realize why I'm stressed and eventually, become free from the stressing thoughts / beliefs that I have.

I also like the sample sessions that's included in the book. It includes people with problems on their parents, their children, a cheating spouse, a drug addict child, stock market, depression and child sexual abuse.

Overall, I'm glad I found this book, because it has changed my life and the way I see things. It has made me realize again that life can be good when we just welcome things--good and bad--and love what is.

17 of 18 people found this review helpful

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Too abridged

This is great material, and the audiobook is a good adjunct to the written work. I was disappointed by how much the audiobook is abridged from the written.
The big plus to the audio version is being able to the actual interviews.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Okay until she said rape was her fault!!

I usually don't leave a review for audible books, but I fall compelled to leave one for this because the book which was overall okay, however when the lady who had been raped needed to turn it around and say that she wanted to be raped almost in a way I was appalled because this was a child who had been raped and she didn't know any better she was innocent, so I was little bit shocked that this was in the story because rape is never anyone's fault. I don't believe people want to get raped. Moreover, to say that the rapist was innocent as well and say he just wanted love was disturbing and disgusting that was a little girl. she said the little girl wanted it because she didn't tell anyone a lot of rape victims just feel shame.

Also the book was very repetitive the good stuff literally came in the last 30 minutes of the book. I would say you should buy the if you want to live in a state of being delusional. The book is not very practical for day to day .

12 of 13 people found this review helpful

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Very hard to listen too

Participants volume is so low and Byron Katie is so loud that you either have to blast the volume in the car to hear the full conversation or miss a lot of what is being said.

Either way I found Byron Katie's use of the phrases such as "oh honey" and her constant snorting chuckles very annoying. So much so that I was unable to focus on her message and abandoned the book. I have been an audible member since they launched and this will be the first book I will ask for a refund on.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Interesting reality check

I found this book a helpful reality check, but at times difficult to listen to. I didn't think it was motivational or inspirational, although I did find that through doing "the work" I was able to let go of some judgmental ideas I had that were causing frustration in my life. What I found difficult was doing "the turn around" in some scenarios. I see in some situations how this is a huge relief, but in other more "moral" situations this not so easy. The bottomline is...accept what is, because there is no other reality. If you can love it, then you're free! It's pretty simple and she shows you how to do it.

14 of 16 people found this review helpful

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Some good and some not so good

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

I was glad I listened to the book opposed to reading it. I don't think I would have gotten through the book had I read it.

Would you recommend Loving What Is to your friends? Why or why not?

Probably not. This book has some good aspects such as turning things around and asking what is true and what isn't, focusing on what we have control over and looking at things from a different perspective. I do think that listeners have to be careful as it may cause some negative self talk as thinking is shifted from self to others. I think this is a good book for people with a strong sense of self and has some good tools but I think it can be a dangerous book for those with lower self esteem.
My favorite part of this book, which I have discussed with others is paying attention to what is our business, others business and God's business. It is always helpful to remind ourselves which business we are trying to control.
In my job, I have asked people who come to me if what they are feeling is true and how do they know it is true.
There are some really good pieces to this book, but overall I wasn't comfortable with my perception of the messaging. One of my gauges with things is "does this make me feel good" and the exercises did not feel good to me. Not because I didn't want to face the truth but because they took me back to a place that I have worked hard to move out of.
This wasn't a fit for me and I would only recommend it if I felt it was a fit for another person.

Would you listen to another book narrated by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell ?

Perhaps

Did Loving What Is inspire you to do anything?

It did inspire me to look at things differently. I have done a lot of self work and have to be careful not to "blame" myself for things or take ownership of other people's behavior. I felt this book was pushing me back into that place that I have worked so hard to move beyond so I had to read it with caution and pull out what I thought was beneficial. What she is discussing in this book has some wonderful thought provoking value and people who lack self awareness or accountability would benefit from reading this book.

Any additional comments?

Any book that inspires and gives the reader tools to be a better person is a great book. These self help books all depend on the frame of mind of the reader. If taking accountability or not understanding other people in your life or their actions, then this book may be helpful.

18 of 21 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Emily
  • 10-22-10

Being ok with the now

My whole life I have always resisted what was happening to me. I would get frustrated and angry when things were supposed to go my way and didn't. Byron Katie shows me that the mind creates my own reality and my thoughts dictate the world I perceive to live in. Answering four questions and turning them around opened my eyes to what was really happening in my life. Loving What Is has transformed me into a more open-hearted and accepting person. Please listen to this book, it will set you free if you let it.

13 of 13 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Margaret
  • 02-21-09

This book has changed my life

I can't recommend this book enough. It has changed my life for the better. Thanks to Byron Katie I now know the true meaning of happiness and success. I wish I had read it years ago, it would have enabled me to cut out all the years of feeling not quite good enough. If this review means that just one person downloads this book it will make the effort of this review worthwhile.

16 of 17 people found this review helpful

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  • Pen Name
  • 07-07-14

Pure truth

If you could sum up Loving What Is in three words, what would they be?

Wisdom, truth and self-examination

What did you like best about this story?

Everything difficulty is conquerable when you examine the truth of your thoughts and beliefs.

What does Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

It's a more human delivery, much more personal.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Listening to the first examination of a person Katie Byron coached.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Zane
  • 05-29-12

What an encounter!

This is the first time I am being introduced to Byron Katie's work. At first, I felt very awkward towards the simplicity with which she exposes life's most threatening and stressful events. But keeping an open mind while listening further and trying to apply the technique presented, I realized that life can be as simple as it is, with no drama. So, many thanks for sharing with the world a simple yet valuable philosophical way of approaching life!

Another feature that also made very pleased with this purchase is that, as being new to audio books, and as Katie herself narrates "Loving What Is" (together with Stephen Mitchell and adding audio excerpts from her seminars), it made the entire experience of listening to her book very alive, as if Katie and I were having a conversation, as two good friends.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Mandy
  • 08-01-11

Refreshing

This is the first time I'd encountered Katie following a recommendation from a friend. As they say; 'when the student is ready the teacher will appear' and she really teaches a different way to think in ways that could change your thoughts about any negative life situations forever...

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Rhian
  • 11-05-15

This book is life changing

What a fantastic book. It has given me a different outlook on the world and I have realised my thoughts were my worst enemies. Literally life changing!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Lynda
  • 12-26-13

life changing

this is one to revisit again and again. Each time reveals something new, deeper and more insightful. A true gem of a book to lead one through life with acceptance and less suffering.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Dawn
  • 12-13-13

Utterly life changing and possible for everyone

Would you consider the audio edition of Loving What Is to be better than the print version?

The audio book lets you hear Katie doing The Work with people in lots of different situations. It provided more insight for me than the printed version into how Katie approaches The Work and how others respond to it.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Loving What Is?

The most memorable moments involve actually hearing other people being set free from thoughts that have plagued them for years- all in a matter of minutes.

Which scene did you most enjoy?

I loved the whole book and hearing first hand how effective The Work can be for people in so many different situations.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

I was moved time and again by people who felt they had been victimised by others and by their circumstances seeing how they had contributed to this - not in a blaming way but in a way that helped them to see their part in it and to let go and move forward much more positively.

Any additional comments?

Get the book, do The Work, you'll never look back!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • KingEd
  • 11-15-17

Now thinking clearly

All pain is in the past and nobody will ever understand me. These two lessons have completely liberated me.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Emma
  • 10-01-17

Woooow

I have this book but listening has really made the work come alive. I understand it so much better now. Life changing x

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • guy
  • 10-01-18

The audiobook that has changed everything

Unlike any book I have read before in the ‘self help’ universe - this book is immediately practical and life changing. Yes your life changes in the moment as you apply the work (4 questions and the turnaround). Incredible.
All ready I am more peaceful. And the replay of the author’s sessions with real life clients are brilliant and so very helpful.
‘The work will show you how you have happiness backwards’. - yes!!!!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Renata
  • 05-11-15

An eye opener. I loved it!

I'm glad I listened to it, instead of reading the book.
There were moments where I didn't understand 'the work' yet and I thought some of the dialogs were ridiculous. I know I would stop reading then and never go back. Instead, I kept listening and I am so grateful I did. This book is an eye opener! I just love what is! Thank you Katie.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Ellie
  • 09-18-19

Amazing book that everybody should read!

Absolutely loved it! This book provided an amazing insight into myself and my thoughts and has helped me reprogram so many destructive beliefs. I have already started re-reading it - this time taking notes. Easily one of the best books I have ever read! The live workshops were extremely helpful too - hearing people transform their beliefs in the space of a few minutes. So powerful!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Hellè Weston
  • 07-08-19

A personal growth favourite!

There is so much life enhancing wisdom in this book. It is potent, practical and simple. I am deeply grateful to Byron Katie for bringing 'The Work' and this book into being.

Narration by Byron Katie was lovely and I enjoyed the live segments demonstrating the enquiry process. Very powerful and a lot to learn through hearing the stories of others and how they were able to turn disempowering beliefs into lightness, joy and laughter.

I will re read and continue to pass this classic onto people in my community.

A must read for anyone seeking personal freedom, inner peace and consciousness!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-16-19

Katie has the answers for us all: she’s made the impossible possible.

Byron Kate, or Katie as she’s known, has changed my life. The blockages are dissolved and I’m doing the work with a sponsor they my 12 step group. Thank you Katie

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-09-19

Victim blaming

Extremely problematic victim blaming in situation of rape towards end of book. Very concerning overall

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • MR
  • 05-08-19

Powerful

This book sure confused, grabbed and then opened up a very strong reality for me. Had to read/listen to it twice as it really has a lot to grasp and understand. What we do with our minds are amazing really... This concept alone blew me away! Recommend reading this book.

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  • Beth
  • 04-28-19

Beautiful and simple

A profound lesson that is well worth the listen if your heart is ready for it.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-15-19

Loving what is

This makes so much sense. I really enjoy working through inquiry. Learning about self is so powerful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-23-19

Nothing here for me

Just couldn’t finish this book, a combination of cringe worthy interviews and questionable content had me yawning!