http://www.sherylkline.com/blog

Have you ever felt like a peer was quietly (or not so quietly) blocking your influence with leadership?

If so, you’re definitely not alone. And when it happens, it’s not just frustrating… it’s costly. Costly to your confidence, your credibility, your career momentum, and the business itself.

What makes it even harder is that this behavior is often driven by fear-based leadership or narcissistic tendencies. When someone feels threatened, they may try to limit your visibility, exclude you from conversations, or position themselves as the gatekeeper to leadership.

It is not a reflection of your capability or value.

Why This Matters So Much

When a peer blocks your access to leadership:

• Your ideas don’t get heard
• Your impact gets diluted
• Key relationships don’t form
• The organization loses out on your expertise

The good news is there’s a proven process to address it.

Imagine for a moment if that same peer became someone who supported your ideas, amplified your voice, and saw your presence as a win for them (not a threat.)

That shift is possible.

Here’s How:

1. Develop Strategic Empathy (Your Mental Preparation)

Before engaging with a difficult peer, most people are already frustrated—and understandably so. But going into a conversation with that emotional charge puts you behind the starting line. Why? Because those emotions will likely come out in your tone, body language, and gestures.

Instead, I recommend developing what I call strategic empathy, rooted in an ECO Mindset:

• “E”mpathy – What pressures are they under? What might they be afraid of?
• “C”uriosity – What do they perceive as a win? What do they need to feel protected?
• “O”ptimism – How do you want this interaction to turn out?

This isn’t about excusing poor behavior or being naïve. It’s about showing up with confidence and compassion, rather than frustration… which rarely gets us where we want to go.

Your tone matters more than you think.

2. Practice Gratitude

This may sound counterintuitive, but stay with me.

Instead of resenting the challenge, try saying (even silently): “Thank you for the challenge to grow my influence.”

Gratitude brings perspective.

Perspective brings calm.

And calm leadership is incredibly persuasive.

If nothing else, it brings a little levity to a heavy situation, and that alone can change the energy of how you show up.

3. Learn, Then Plan (Especially If You’ve Been Excluded)

I’ve recently seen several clients purposefully excluded from meetings both in-person and virtual. And while that never feels good, it’s important not to judge the situation, but to observe and learn from it.

Ask yourself:

• Why was it important for me to be in that room?
• Why might they have chosen not to include me?
• What relationships or perceptions were at play?

From there, you create a plan (or what I often call a mini campaign) to ensure next time is different.

That might include:

• Proactively building the relationship with that peer
• Making your value to the meeting visible before it happens
• Helping them see that your presence actually benefits them

When someone believes it’s good for them that you’re in the room, the dynamic changes completely.

You Can Reclaim Your Influence

If a peer has ever caused you to lose visibility, impact, or influence with leadership, please know this:

• It’s a real challenge.
• And there is a proven process to move through it.
• Develop strategic empathy.
• Lead with confidence and compassion.

http://www.sherylkline.com/blog

If you’ve ever walked out of a meeting thinking, “That was a lost opportunity… I could’ve been more prepared,” please know you are not alone. It happens to even the most capable, high-performing leaders. And yet, those small windows of time (whether it’s a 15-minute 1:1 or a brief hallway conversation with a senior leader) are often the moments that matter most.

They’re the moments that shape your influence, your visibility, and the confidence others have in your leadership.

I’ve been there myself. It’s frustrating, and it can sting. But I want to make sure it doesn’t continue happening to you.

There is a proven way to walk into these interactions feeling grounded, clear, and ready. Both you and the person you’re meeting with can walk away feeling energized, aligned, and confident.

And it starts before you ever say a word.

Start by Putting on Their Goggles

When we prepare for an important meeting (especially one with an executive) we often feel pressure to talk fast, showcase our wins, and prove our value. That’s normal. But it’s not the most effective way to lead the conversation.

Before you jump into your updates, accomplishments, or ideas, you need to create what I call the runway.

That runway begins with the other person’s world, not yours.

Ask yourself:

What pressure are they under right now?
Who is putting expectations on them?
What’s keeping them up at night?
What might they be worried about as we head into this next quarter?

This is not about being perfect or reading their mind. The beautiful thing is, it’s okay if your assumption isn’t exactly right. What matters is that you are showing genuine awareness and care.

This immediately lowers defensiveness, increases trust, and sets the tone for a productive interaction.

How to Start the Conversation Strong

After the basic pleasantries, you might say something like:

“It seems like there’s a lot of pressure right now to accelerate growth in Q1, and I can imagine that’s creating a lot of urgency.”

That simple sentence does three powerful things:

It acknowledges their reality.
It validates the pressure they’re carrying.
It signals that you’re thinking beyond your own priorities.

From there, one of two things will happen:

1. You’re spot-on.

They’ll say, “Yes, exactly,” and then give you more context.

2. You’re slightly off.

They’ll say, “That’s important, but what’s really stressing me right now is…”

Either way you win, because you gain insight you didn’t have before. And insight is influence.

More importantly, you’ve already built trust in the very first moments of the conversation. And trust is the foundation of impact, visibility, and upward momentum in any organization.

This Is Just Step One

If you struggle to feel fully prepared for short but important meetings, this is your starting point: Lead with empathy. Lead with awareness. Lead with their world first.

Next time, we’ll talk about how to structure your message in a concise, clear, and influence-building way, so you get the biggest return on even the shortest interactions.

If I can support you or your team in any way, I’m here for you.

And if you’re interested in being featured on the Fearless Female Leadership podcast, or you’re a leader looking to gain clarity on ‘what’s next’, how to build more cohesive and high-performing teams, and lead with greater confidence and influence, let’s have a confidential conversation.

Cheering you on always!
– Sheryl.

http://www.sherylkline.com/blog

If you’ve ever walked out of a meeting thinking, “That was a lost opportunity… I could’ve been more prepared,” please know you are not alone. It happens to even the most capable, high-performing leaders. And yet, those small windows of time (whether it’s a 15-minute 1:1 or a brief hallway conversation with a senior leader) are often the moments that matter most.

They’re the moments that shape your influence, your visibility, and the confidence others have in your leadership.

I’ve been there myself. It’s frustrating, and it can sting. But I want to make sure it doesn’t continue happening to you.

There is a proven way to walk into these interactions feeling grounded, clear, and ready. Both you and the person you’re meeting with can walk away feeling energized, aligned, and confident.

And it starts before you ever say a word.

Start by Putting on Their Goggles

When we prepare for an important meeting (especially one with an executive) we often feel pressure to talk fast, showcase our wins, and prove our value. That’s normal. But it’s not the most effective way to lead the conversation.

Before you jump into your updates, accomplishments, or ideas, you need to create what I call the runway.

That runway begins with the other person’s world, not yours.

Ask yourself:

• What pressure are they under right now?
• Who is putting expectations on them?
• What’s keeping them up at night?
• What might they be worried about as we head into this next quarter?

This is not about being perfect or reading their mind. The beautiful thing is, it’s okay if your assumption isn’t exactly right. What matters is that you are showing genuine awareness and care.

This immediately lowers defensiveness, increases trust, and sets the tone for a productive interaction.

How to Start the Conversation Strong

After the basic pleasantries, you might say something like:

“It seems like there’s a lot of pressure right now to accelerate growth in Q1, and I can imagine that’s creating a lot of urgency.”

That simple sentence does three powerful things:

• It acknowledges their reality.
• It validates the pressure they’re carrying.
• It signals that you’re thinking beyond your own priorities.

From there, one of two things will happen:

1. You’re spot-on.

They’ll say, “Yes, exactly,” and then give you more context.

2. You’re slightly off.

They’ll say, “That’s important, but what’s really stressing me right now is…”

Either way you win, because you gain insight you didn’t have before. And insight is influence.

More importantly, you’ve already built trust in the very first moments of the conversation. And trust is the foundation of impact, visibility, and upward momentum in any organization.

This Is Just Step One

If you struggle to feel fully prepared for short but important meetings, this is your starting point: Lead with empathy. Lead with awareness. Lead with their world first.

Next time, we’ll talk about how to structure your message in a concise, clear, and influence-building way, so you get the biggest return on even the shortest interactions.

If I can support you or your team in any way, I’m here for you.

And if you’re interested in being featured on the Fearless Female Leadership podcast, or you’re a leader looking to gain clarity on ‘what’s next’, how to build more cohesive and high-performing teams, and lead with greater confidence and influence, let’s have a confidential conversation.

Cheering you on always!
– Sheryl