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The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
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The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle
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Publisher's summary
Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You remember them, don't you? They're the Princes Charming, who finally got some credit after they stepped out of the shadows of their princesses Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, and Briar Rose to defeat an evil witch bent on destroying all their kingdoms.
But alas, such fame and recognition only last so long. And when the princes discover that an object of great power might fall into any number of wrong hands, they are going to have to once again band together to stop it from happening - even if no one will ever know it was they who did it.
Christopher Healy, author of the acclaimed The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, takes us back to the hilariously fractured fairy-tale world he created for another tale of medieval mischief. Magical gemstones, bladejaw eels, a mysterious Gray Phantom, and two maniacal warlords bent on world domination - all in a day's work for the League of Princes.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,260
A plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, and the Dread Necromancer Steve....
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2 out of 5 stars
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Disappointing
- By Bruce D. Parker on 07-18-18
By: Kevin Hearne, and others
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Max and the Midknights
- By: Lincoln Peirce
- Narrated by: Kristen DiMercurio, Marc Thompson, Christopher Gebauer, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 120
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 98
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
Max wants to be a knight! Too bad that dream is about as likely as finding a friendly dragon. But when Max's uncle Budrick is kidnapped by the cruel King Gastley, Max has to act...and fast! Joined by a band of brave adventurers - the Midknights - Max sets out on a thrilling quest: to save Uncle Budrick and restore the realm of Byjovia to its former high spirits!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best story I've ever heard
- By Ana Bolchalk on 08-13-21
By: Lincoln Peirce
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The Bitches of Everafter
- The Everafter Series, Book 1
- By: Barbra Annino
- Narrated by: Erin Fossa
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 303
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 276
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Story4 out of 5 stars 278
These are not the mild-mannered maidens of your childhood. These are fallen princesses and fierce women with no recollection of who they are, where they came from, or how they arrived in a mysterious town called Everafter. All they know is that they've been sentenced to a stretch in a half-way house by a malicious judge with an ax to grind. They've been stripped of their freedom, their kingdoms, and their true loves. Now, they have nothing left to lose.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Good Idea, Bad execution
- By A.J. Amendolara on 04-26-15
By: Barbra Annino
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Sky Raiders
- Five Kingdoms, Book 1
- By: Brandon Mull
- Narrated by: Keith Nobbs
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,844
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,851
Cole Randolph was just trying to have a fun time with his friends on Halloween (and maybe get to know Jenna Hunt a little better). But when a spooky haunted house turns out to be a portal to something much creepier, Cole finds himself on an adventure on a whole different level.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A little scary at first, but a great story!
- By Shileen on 09-19-14
By: Brandon Mull
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The Sword-Edged Blonde
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,389
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,151
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,137
It should have been a case like any other: a missing princess, a king willing to pay in gold for her return. But before he realizes it, private investigator Eddie LaCrosse, a slightly shopworn sword jockey with a talent for discretion and detection, is swept up in a web of mystery and deceit involving a brutally murdered royal heir, a queen accused of an unspeakable crime, and the tragic past he thought he'd left behind.
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2 out of 5 stars
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No Redeeming Qualities
- By MightyMite68 on 09-27-20
By: Alex Bledsoe
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Witches Be Crazy
- By: Logan J. Hunder
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,392
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,200
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,196
The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
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5 out of 5 stars
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perfect nonsense
- By Jen on 09-04-20
By: Logan J. Hunder
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Heir Apparent
- By: Vivian Vande Velde
- Narrated by: Carine Montbertrand
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 368
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 288
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Story4 out of 5 stars 289
In the virtual reality game Heir Apparent, there are way too many ways to get killed, and Giannine seems to be finding them all. Which is a darn shame, because unless she can get the magic ring, locate the stolen treasure, answer the dwarf's dumb riddles, impress the head-chopping statue, charm the army of ghosts, fend off the barbarians, and defeat the man-eating dragon, she'll never win. And she has to, because losing means she'll die, for real this time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thoroughly Enjoyed It
- By TheCauseMaster on 10-26-06
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A Whole New World
- A Twisted Tale
- By: Liz Braswell, Disney Press
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,051
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 905
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 908
When Jafar steals the genie's lamp, he uses his first two wishes to become sultan and the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Agrabah lives in fear, waiting for his third and final wish. To stop the power-mad ruler, Aladdin and the deposed Princess Jasmine must unite the people of Agrabah in rebellion. But soon their fight for freedom threatens to tear the kingdom apart in a costly civil war. What happens next? A "street rat" becomes a leader. A princess becomes a revolutionary. And listeners will never look at the story of Aladdin in the same way again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved this!!!
- By Catherine E on 08-04-16
By: Liz Braswell, and others
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
- Books 1-2 and Prequel Novella
- By: Shae Ford
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 37 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,690
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,567
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,560
Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fantasy with light romance
- By Skipper on 09-23-15
By: Shae Ford
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Spirit Animals: Special Edition
- Tales of the Great Beasts
- By: Brandon Mull
- Narrated by: Nicola Barber
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 91
Long before they were spirit animals, the four were still legends - Great Beasts, the most powerful beings to roam the wilds of Erdas. Aided by a brave resistance of humans and animals, they gave their lives to protect the world from a threat more dangerous than any it had seen before: their own kind. Wise and cunning, gentle and ruthless, these are tales of the true heroes and villains in the war that started it all.
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5 out of 5 stars
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review from 9 y/o daughter
- By Ellie on 01-08-17
By: Brandon Mull
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Frostborn
- Thrones and Bones, Book 1
- By: Lou Anders
- Narrated by: Fabio Tassone
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4 out of 5 stars 52
Meet Karn. He is destined to take over the family farm in Norrøngard. His only problem? He'd rather be playing the board game Thrones and Bones. Enter Thianna. Half human, half frost giantess. She's too tall to blend in with other humans but too short to be taken seriously as a giant. When family intrigues force Karn and Thianna to flee into the wilderness, they have to keep their sense of humor and their wits about them. But survival can be challenging when you're being chased by a 1,500-year-old dragon, an evil uncle, wyverns, and an assortment of trolls and giants.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good story
- By Erza on 12-14-22
By: Lou Anders
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,819
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,626
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,618
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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Thisby Thestoop and the Black Mountain
- By: Zac Gorman
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
In the absurd land of Nth, Thisby Thestoop can be found within the forlorn walls of Castle Grimstone, down the precarious steps of the Black Mountain dungeon, up to her nose in griffon toenails, gnoll spittle, and troll meat (to give to them, not made of them). When the prince and princess arrive for a Royal Inspection, the much too good-looking Princess Iphigenia winds up lost in the tunnels of the dungeon - without her guards, her staff, or her younger twin brother - and it's up to Thisby to guide the princess safely.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 11-06-18
By: Zac Gorman
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Flunked
- Booktrack Edition
- By: Jen Calonita
- Narrated by: Kristin Condon
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 17
Gilly wouldn't call herself wicked, exactly...but when you have five little brothers and sisters and live in a run-down boot, you have to get creative to make ends meet. Gilly's a pretty good thief (if she does say so herself). Until she gets caught. Gilly's sentenced to three months at Fairy Tale Reform School where all of the teachers are former (super-scary) villains like the Big Bad Wolf, the Evil Queen, and Cinderella's Wicked Stepmother. Harsh. But when she meets fellow students Jax and Kayla, she learns there's more to this school than its heroic mission.
By: Jen Calonita
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The Palace Job
- Rogues of the Republic, Book 1
- By: Patrick Weekes
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,187
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,074
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,069
Loch is seeking revenge. It would help if she wasn’t in jail. The plan: To steal a priceless elven manuscript that once belonged to her family, but is now in the hands of the most powerful man in the Republic. To do so, Loch - former soldier, former prisoner, and current fugitive - must assemble a crack team of magical misfits that includes a cynical illusionist, a shape shifting unicorn, a repentant death priestess, a talking magical war hammer, and a lad with seemingly no skills.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Awful narration
- By 9littlebees on 12-18-15
By: Patrick Weekes
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Agatha H. and the Airship City
- Girl Genius, Book 1
- By: Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 978
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 855
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 859
The Industrial Revolution has escalated into all-out warfare. Sixteen years have passed since the Heterodyne Boys, benevolent adventurers and inventors, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Today, Europe is ruled by the Sparks, dynasties of mad scientists ruling over - and terrorizing - the hapless population with their bizarre inventions and unchecked power, while the downtrodden dream of the Heterodynes’ return. At Transylvania Polygnostic University, a pretty, young student named Agatha Clay seems to have nothing but bad luck.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Ever wanted visuals while audio book listening?
- By Amazon Customer on 02-11-13
By: Phil Foglio, and others
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Storybound
- By: Marissa Burt
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Evans
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 238
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 197
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Story4 out of 5 stars 200
When Una Fairchild stumbles upon a mysterious book buried deep in the basement of her school library, she thinks nothing of opening the cover and diving in. But instead of paging through a regular novel, Una suddenly finds herself Written In to the land of Story - a world filled with Heroes and Villains and fairy-tale characters. But not everything in Story is as magical as it seems. Una must figure out why she has been Written In - and fast - before anyone else discovers her secret. Together with her new friend Peter and a talking cat named Sam, Una digs deep into Story's shadowy past.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Okay story about wandering into a fairy tale
- By Karissa Eckert on 11-13-14
By: Marissa Burt
What listeners say about The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- S. Larsen
- 01-12-18
Best book!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s the Facebook it’s awesome great story tons of action super fun the readers good great voices great energy just great overall
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Julia
- 07-22-16
Excellent performance by Bronson Pinchot!
Another great book and an even better performance by Bronson Pinchot! I adored the first book and this one did not disappoint either. The story is interesting and keeps the fun coming! But my favorite part of the entire thing was Bronson Pinchot's performance. His voices are the best! I don't know how he manages to keep them all straight in his mind while he's reading, but he never misses a beat. If you're looking for something entertaining and light hearted but also exciting and tons of fun, then I'd definitely recommend this one no matter your age!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- EmilyK
- 11-28-15
Hilarious for kids and adults; best narrator
Would you listen to The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle again? Why?
Yes, we would -- my son and I both loved this book. This is one of the best series for children and parents to listen to together.
What did you like best about this story?
The humor appealed greatly to both my 12 year old and me. Bronson Pinchot is the best narrator -- the different voices, the humor -- he nails it all.
Any additional comments?
We were so glad to find this sequel and that Pinchot was narrating it. If you are looking for a great family road trip series, this is it.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carrie H.
- 05-04-14
Healy & Pinchot team up to make the best Audible!
Any additional comments?
With a family of 11 children, it is very difficult to find an audio book that we all agree on. Both Hero's Guide Books by Christopher Healy had our family in tears laughing and not wanting to pause it! Bronson Pinchot was AMAZING in his never ending supply of character voices. How he could switch from one voice to another, and then another, SO QUICKLY, astonished us all. Well done! We are eagerly waiting their third book together. This book is definitely one to listen to, rather than read!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- CONNIE
- 01-29-15
Love
Love Love Love Bronson Pinchot. I look to find books he has narrated because I know I will enjoy the time I spend listening to a book.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Deserving Porcupine
- 05-23-20
The Whole Family Laughs Out Loud
I have 4 kids, and we listen to a LOT of audiobooks together. (About 1 a week.) This series is our most favorite ever! This is fun for the whole family, and we really do laugh out loud. We just passed 4 hours of a roadtrip with zero complaints or fights from anybody. This is our second time listening, and we are still loving the series! Bronson Pinchot does an AMAZING job narrating: he makes a funny story even funnier. The voices for each character are hilarious. My kids go around quoting the series. Just do your family a favor and get all 3 of these!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lizzy K
- 11-04-19
Best story ever
I loved this story, it is a good family story for people who are around 9 and up. The narrator has all these funny different voices for each character. I recommend this book to family’s who are looking for a family book that has lots of humor in it.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Shannon
- 10-29-22
SO GREAT
We love this series because it’s thrilling and funny at the same time. Highly recommended!!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 07-31-14
Amazing
I have listened to this book at least one hundred. Times it's really really good and it's funny too.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- H
- 04-12-23
Amazing
I recame de this book to kids it is VEARY good
It is GREATLY GOOD
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