It's Complicated

The Social Lives of Networked Teens

By: danah boyd

Narrated by: Beth Wendell

Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins

Publisher's Summary

What is new about how teenagers communicate through services such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram? Do social media affect the quality of teens' lives? In this eye-opening book, youth culture and technology expert Danah Boyd uncovers some of the major myths regarding teens' use of social media. She explores tropes about identity, privacy, safety, danger, and bullying. Ultimately, Boyd argues that society fails young people when paternalism and protectionism hinder teenagers' ability to become informed, thoughtful, and engaged citizens through their online interactions. Yet despite an environment of rampant fear-mongering, Boyd finds that teens often find ways to engage and to develop a sense of identity.

Boyd's conclusions are essential reading not only for parents, teachers, and others who work with teens but also for anyone interested in the impact of emerging technologies on society, culture, and commerce in years to come. Offering insights gleaned from more than a decade of original fieldwork interviewing teenagers across the United States, Boyd concludes reassuringly that the kids are all right. At the same time, she acknowledges that coming to terms with life in a networked era is not easy or obvious. In a technologically mediated world, life is bound to be complicated.

©2014 Danah Boyd (P)2014 Audible Inc.

No surprises if you grew up in the digital era

Let me get this out of the way first: I'm not the intended audience for this book. I graduated in 2005, when everyone in class had a live journal, MySpace was steadily moving towards its peak in popularity, and the first inklings of Facebook were starting to surface. In other words, while the services were still in their infancy, I was one of the "networked teens" that Boyd talks about in this book. "It's Complicated," however, is aimed squarely at parents who don't get the social networking phenomena, and want to understand what their kids are up to. This disconnect left me feeling somewhat disappointed in how remedial the content is.

With that said, as a person who grew up socially networked, Boyd hits the nail on the head with her analysis. Teenagers aren't replacing their real life friendships with social networks, they're using social networks to augment the real world bonds that exist and to overcome the barriers put between themselves and their friends. This should come as no surprise to the generations that have used these services, but it may still be reassuring to the parents that didn't.

The argument that Boyd puts together is cogent and interesting. She uses an effective mix of data and anecdotes to educate the reader on how social networks are really used by today's youth, being careful to avoid the hyperbole employed by both staunch opponents to social networks and overzealous supporters of the form. Social networks aren't destroying the youth of today, but they're not creating a glorious utopia, either. The more things change, the more things stay the same is the mantra of this book.

The reading is good. Wendell has an intellectual tone that matches the quality of the book; it feels like a long-form lecture from a college professor.

My only complaint comes from personal audience mismatch. As someone who used social networks as a teen, I was curious about how services that are used now differ from what I used. Also, considering how different networks have different cultures surrounding them, I was hoping for descriptions of those unique cultures (e.g. how does YouTube differ from tumblr?). This book contained none of that, and was mildly disappointing as a result.

Still, if you didn't grow up with texting, blogs, or facebook, you'll probably learn a lot from "It's Complicated."

Everyone's guide to understanding teens

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Not only to friends, but to everyone. This is a book that provides thoughtful insight into and discussion about how our society is, and in many cases is not, adapting and integrating the 'internet' and the tools one uses to connect to it. The framework of the book is networking on the internet, but the book reaches down to the fundamentals of teens themselves: who teens think they are, their goals and ambitions (immediate and future), what motivates them to behave in the manners they do. It is also about how people, parents, teachers, policy makers, lawmakers, police, private space owners and the public in general perceive teens: our beliefs, fears, expectations, etc. and how we regard them in light of our experiences (experiences that are not at all comparable to to theirs--they live in a very different world than we did when we were growing up). Thoughtful discussions based on interviews with teens and other published literature regarding specific internet networking (social media) issues: privacy, security, bulling, literacy. dana boyd doesn't 'tell' us how to interact with our teens, nor how to 'set limits', protect their 'privacy', prevent 'bullying'--both the giving out of and receiving of --, she sheds "light on the complex and fascinating practices of contemporary American youth as they try to find themselves in the networked world". Her hope is that "you will suspend your assumptions about youth in an effort to understand the social lives of networked teens. By and large, the kids are alright, but they want to be understood." She is very successful in achieving this goal as she motivates us to think about why we think or behave the way we do in relationship to our teens and what the consequences of such thoughts and behaviors might be.

What did you learn from It's Complicated that you would use in your daily life?

I was reminded to trust my teen, to remember that I have instilled my values, his character and value set has by and large been formed. Therefore as a teen, a person very close to adulthood, needs our trust and the freedom to interact with his world on his terms. In addition, I realize how important it is that I become more active in understanding the internet, how it works and what the policies are governing it, really how the tools & sites work (for example privacy settings), and basically not to fear something I really don't understand.

Any additional comments?

Thank you dana for such a thoughtful book, a book that doesn't tell me what to do as a parent, but reminds me to think before acting--providing me with enough information so I have a chance at making an educated decision. Thank you for 'making' me look at my teen as a healthy young individual instead of a rebellious, disrespectful, angry person.

Book is based on feelings and no statistical data

This author has based all of her conclusions off of interviews with teens and she molds their responses into some sort of Gospel Truth. She redefines common concepts to fit her narrative. There appears to be zero attempt by the author to research data from both sides of this issue. She quotes random obscure psychologists with no specialty in the fields of youth or social media.

I also must qualify this review with the disclaimer that I actually couldn't make it past chapter three before I decided to stop wasting my time...

The material is also so dry at times that it is difficult to truly judge the performance of the reader in this audio book.

Spot on!

Excellent and insightful points about social media and society as a whole. I got this for a class, but I think anyone living today could benefit from reading this book.

A must read for anyone leading EdTech work in K-12

I took notes the entire time. This should be required reading for anyone invested in understanding how "digital natives" interact with technology.

Well researched, thought provoking

A great way to view youth culture and how it is augmented through social media. Shifting the focus away from blaming kids for being on their phone to seeing how they use that as a tool to be social, now that they have more limitations on where they can go physically and how scheduled their lives are. This made me think about how much unstructured hang out time I give my kids with other kids in person, and not to loose sight of its value.

Loved the narration. Warm, fluid, articulate and rich.

Engaging and well read

I loved this book so much that I read it twice in a row. Excellently done. I would recommend it!

Fresh perspective

This book offers a fresh perspective on social media use by teenagers based on research data. A good read for all parents of teenagers.

Eye-opening

‘Today’s teens spend too much time on their mobile phones.’ ‘Teens don’t understand the dangers of the internet.’ ‘Social media is negatively affecting the quality of today’s teen’s social lives.’

Sound familiar?

If you’re a parent or educator, then this book is for you. Danah Boyd debunks many of the popular myths that parents, teachers and adults often believe and perpetuate about the relationship teens have with technology, the internet and social networking sites.

Ms Boyd explains in detail why and how teens engage with technology and the internet, pervasive myths regarding the appropriateness of these mediums, and both the benefits and risks thereof. Her constant references to interviews with teenagers across America ensures that the content is relevant and eye-opening.

Coming from a country where crime is a huge issue and public transport is extremely limited, I was particularly interested in what Ms Boyd had to say about the effect mobility and safety concerns have had on the use of technology in teen’s lives. The section on bullying and the use of social media as a tool for teens to cry out for help also resonated with me.

Today’s adults are quick to blame technology for so many of the negative things that happen in society but we fail to realize that technology is just an enabler and not an end in itself. We also fail to recognize that not so many generations ago, our forefathers once touted the book as ‘evil’ too. The advent of new and uncertain technologies will always result in resistance, but Ms Boyd encourages adults to focus on the positive aspects of this increased visibility, while remaining vigilant of the potential risks.

As an author who writes for the young adult market and uses social media extensively to reach my audience, and as a parent, I found this book extremely enlightening and useful and would highly recommend it.

Some interesting content

I thought there was some pretty interesting research and content about teens and the issues they face with technology. Not super earth shattering but interesting non the less.

Teens, social networking and media

Excellent research-informed analysis of how young people engage with, use, and establish their identities through social media. Well paced, informative, clearly narrated insights into a range of topical issues - why certain media become popular (or rapidly unpopular); how dangerous is 'stranger danger'; what is cyber-bullying and why does it occur? The author covers a range of issues canvassed through interviews with young people and their families and friends.

As a parent of three young adults - I found the book informative, interesting, engaging and evidence-based.

Danah Boyd offers useful insights and introduces the reader to a range of important, topical and contentious issues, often demonstrating that the scare-mongering from parents and the press undermines genuine efforts by young people to develop their voice, their agency and their networks, and to interact as equals with others.