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If You're Reading This, It's Too Late
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
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If You're Reading This, It's Too Late
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Publisher's summary
Beware!
Dangerous secrets lie in the audio of this book.
Okay, I warned you. But if you think I'll give anything away or tell you that this is the sequel to my first literary endeavor, The Name of This Book Is Secret, you're wrong.
I'm not going to remind you of how we last left our heroes, Cass and Max-Ernest, as they awaited initiation into the mysterious Terces Society, or the ongoing fight against the evil Dr. L and Ms. Mauvais. I certainly won't be telling you about how the kids stumble upon the Museum of Magic, where they finally meet the amazing Pietro!
Oh, blast! I've done it again. Well, at least I didn't tell you about the missing Sound Prism, the nefarious Lord Pharaoh, or the mysterious creature born in a bottle over 500 years ago, the key to the biggest secret of all.
I really can't help myself, now can I? Let's face it - if you're reading this, it's too late.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
Oh, it's not the very cute kitten that appears out of nowhere and demands to go home with her. It's not the sudden arrival of her cousin Zee, who believes he's the cause of a mysterious sickness that has struck his friends back in England. It's not her creepy English teacher Mr. Metos, who takes his mythology lessons just a little too seriously. And it's not the white-faced, yellow-eyed men in tuxedoes, who follow Charlotte everywhere. What's so extraordinary is not any one of these things.... It's all of them.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Really good
- By James on 03-22-23
By: Anne Ursu
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Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance
- A Novel
- By: Ruth Emmie Lang
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve, Peter Berkrot, Cassandra Campbell, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 780
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 681
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 681
Stopping a tornado was the first of many strange events that seem to follow Weylyn from town to town, although he doesn't like to take credit. As amazing as these powers may appear, they tend to manifest themselves at inopportune times and places. From freak storms to trees that appear to grow over night, Weylyn's unique abilities are a curiosity at best and at worst, a danger to himself and the woman he loves. But Mary doesn't care.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Accidental Wonder!
- By Brandy Pendergrass on 02-16-18
By: Ruth Emmie Lang
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Shadow Show
- All-New Stories in Celebration of Ray Bradbury
- By: Sam Weller - editor, Mort Castle - editor
- Narrated by: George Takei, Edward Herrmann, Kate Mulgrew, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 160
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 160
Ray Bradbury - peerless storyteller, poet of the impossible, and one of America's most beloved authors - is a literary giant whose remarkable career spanned seven decades. Now 26 of today's most diverse and celebrated authors offer new short works in honor of the master; stories of heart, intelligence, and dark wonder from a remarkable range of creative artists.
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5 out of 5 stars
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THE MAN WHO FORGOT RAY BRADBURY
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-27-17
By: Sam Weller - editor, and others
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 117
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 85
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 84
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher
- By: Bruce Coville
- Narrated by: Bruce Coville
- Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 202
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 159
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Story5 out of 5 stars 161
If Howard Morton and Freddie the Frog Killer were trying to hold you down so that Mary Lou Hutton could kiss you, you might run as fast as Jeremy Thatcher did the day he stumbled into Mr. Elives' Magic Shop. And if you stumbled into that strange shop, you, too, might be asked to make a choice. What would you buy? The Chinese rings? The Skull of Truth? Or the dragon's egg?
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5 out of 5 stars
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love this book as a kid
- By Jamie wool on 11-16-17
By: Bruce Coville
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Harrison Squared
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 473
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 437
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 438
Harrison Harrison - H2 to his mom - is a lonely teenager who's been terrified of the water ever since he was a toddler in California, when a huge sea creature capsized their boat, and his father vanished. One of the "sensitives" who are attuned to the supernatural world, Harrison, along with his mother, has just moved to the worst possible place for a boy like him.
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2 out of 5 stars
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The premise sounded so interesting...
- By shirley on 03-26-15
By: Daryl Gregory
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Abby Carnelia's One and Only Magical Power
- By: David Pogue
- Narrated by: David Pogue
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Abby Carnelia is an average sixth grader. She gets along okay with her parents, does pretty well in school, and has an annoying little brother. There’s absolutely nothing remarkable about her at all — that is, until the day when she happens to tug on her earlobes while standing in front of a hard-boiled egg. That’s the day Abby discovers there’s something very, very special about her after all: she has a magical power, and there are some people who will do anything to find out where it came from.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This was a very great Battle Book. I love it alot.
- By Stefan Mayerschoff on 04-26-15
By: David Pogue
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Fuzzy Mud
- By: Louis Sachar
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 343
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 280
Fifth-grader Tamaya Dhilwaddi and seventh-grader Marshall Walsh have been walking to and from Woodridge Academy together since elementary school. But their routine is disrupted when bully Chad Hilligas challenges Marshall to a fight. To avoid the conflict, Marshall takes a shortcut home through the off-limits woods. Tamaya, unaware of the reason for the detour, reluctantly follows. They soon get lost. And then they find trouble - bigger trouble than anyone could ever have imagined.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book! I really like audibke
- By LUZZY on 11-19-18
By: Louis Sachar
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Flunked
- Booktrack Edition
- By: Jen Calonita
- Narrated by: Kristin Condon
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 17
Gilly wouldn't call herself wicked, exactly...but when you have five little brothers and sisters and live in a run-down boot, you have to get creative to make ends meet. Gilly's a pretty good thief (if she does say so herself). Until she gets caught. Gilly's sentenced to three months at Fairy Tale Reform School where all of the teachers are former (super-scary) villains like the Big Bad Wolf, the Evil Queen, and Cinderella's Wicked Stepmother. Harsh. But when she meets fellow students Jax and Kayla, she learns there's more to this school than its heroic mission.
By: Jen Calonita
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Bewitching
- By: Alex Flinn
- Narrated by: Casey Holloway
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 56
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
Once, I put a curse on a beastly and arrogant high school boy. That one turned out all right. Others didn’t. I go to a new school now - one where no one knows that I should have graduated long ago. I’m not still here because I’m stupid; I just don’t age. You see, I’m immortal. And I pretty much know everything after hundreds of years - except for when to take my powers and butt out. Now a girl named Emma needs me. I probably shouldn’t get involved, but her gorgeous stepsister is conniving to the core.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Emma and Kendra
- By Elizabeth Gordon on 07-12-16
By: Alex Flinn
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Powerless
- By: Matthew Cody
- Narrated by: Gary Dikeos
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 56
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
Twelve-year-old Daniel, the new kid in town, soon learns the truth about his nice - but odd - new friends: one can fly, another can turn invisible, yet another controls electricity. Incredible. The superkids use their powers to secretly do good in the town, but they’re haunted by the fact that the moment they turn thirteen, their abilities will disappear - along with any memory that they ever had them. Is a memory-stealing supervillain sapping their powers?
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3 out of 5 stars
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Author is Oddly Sexist
- By Ashley Weaver on 08-08-21
By: Matthew Cody
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The Grimm Legacy
- By: Polly Shulman
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 189
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 170
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 170
Elizabeth has just started working as a page at the New York Circulating Material Repository - a lending library of objects, contemporary and historical, common and obscure. And secret, too - for in the repository's basement lies the Grimm Collection, a room of magical items straight from the Grimm Brother's fairy tales. But the magic mirrors and seven-league boots and other items are starting to disappear.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Story
- By Lady on 12-19-12
By: Polly Shulman
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Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
- Timmy Failure, Book 1
- By: Stephan Pastis
- Narrated by: Jared Goldsmith
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 131
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 97
The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Good
- By Linton A Harrington on 05-14-16
By: Stephan Pastis
-
Zoe & Zak and the Ghost Leopard (Volume 1)
- By: Lars Guignard
- Narrated by: Bailey S. Carlson
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 35
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 35
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 35
Zoe Guire just talked to an elephant. Well, technically speaking, the elephant spoke to her, but either way it was weird and, as a rule, Zoe doesn't do weird. Except the thing is, when Zoe goes along on her mom's business trip to India, things get very weird, very quickly. Soon after she arrives, Zoe finds herself tagging alongside a kid named Zak, lost in a crazy city, with no money and no way home.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
a Fun, Educational, Fantasy Adventure
- By Ginny on 09-12-13
By: Lars Guignard
-
The Iron Trial
- Book One of The Magisterium
- By: Holly Black, Cassandra Clare
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,990
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,806
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,800
Most kids would do anything to pass the Iron Trial. Not Callum Hunt. He wants to fail. All his life, Call has been warned by his father to stay away from magic. If he succeeds at the Iron Trial and is admitted into the Magisterium, he is sure it can only mean bad things for him. So he tries his best to do his worst - and fails at failing. Now the Magisterium awaits him. It's a place that's both sensational and sinister, with dark ties to his past and a twisty path to his future.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Harry Potter it ain't!
- By Douglas on 09-11-14
By: Holly Black, and others
-
The Kneebone Boy
- By: Ellen Potter
- Narrated by: Alex Barrett
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
Life in a small town can be pretty boring when everyone avoids you like the plague. But after their father unwittingly sends them to stay with an aunt who’s away on holiday, the Hardscrabble children take off on an adventure that begins in the seedy streets of London and ends in a peculiar sea village where legend has it a monstrous creature lives who is half boy and half animal.
In this wickedly dark, unusual, and compelling novel, Ellen Potter masterfully tells the tale of one deliciously strange family and a secret that changes everything.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Couldn't Stop Listening
- By nicole on 12-11-15
By: Ellen Potter
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J.D. has a big problem - it's the night before the start of third grade, and his mom has just given him his first and worst home haircut. When the steady stream of insults from the entire student body of Douglass Elementary becomes too much for J.D., he takes matters into his own hands and discovers that, unlike his mom, he's a genius with the clippers. His work makes him the talk of the town and brings him enough hair business to open a barbershop from his bedroom.
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What listeners say about If You're Reading This, It's Too Late
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ocean Journey
- 04-21-19
Loved the story, hated most of the voices
I love Pseudonymous Bosch and his books. I think they are outstanding for all ages. The theme of everlasting life/youth is a longstanding one that many have explored, but none have achieved the mastery that Mr. Bosch exemplifies. However, I am not fond of the vocal performance in this audio book and I think it ruined the story--at least for me. I appreciate the variety of voice actors instead of the monotony of one person trying to do a few voices, so kudos to them for that.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- ProtoFreeze
- 01-06-20
Interestingly Invigorating
there must be fifteen words in my review, but I believe my title is enough.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bill
- 12-14-18
Love this Series! Entertaining and Smartly Written
I also love that it is family friendly. My 14 year old daughter and I listened to the first two books on a 2 day road trip. We laughed like crazy and thoroughly enjoyed the drive and the books.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 06-05-23
Thanks PB this is great!
This is a really good book and audiobook all the voices were really good. I listen again and again and never get tired of it!
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