• If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?

  • A Parody for Adults
  • By: Marcy Roznick
  • Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
  • Length: 2 mins
  • 3.3 out of 5 stars (161 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.

What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.

©2011 Marcy Roznick (P)2011 Macmillan Audio

What listeners say about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?

Average Customer Ratings
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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Did any of the previous reviewers ACTUALLY LISTEN?

First of all, you GOTTA be kidding me! An average of only 2.5-to-3.0 stars???

Really, Nation???

This is a PARODY of "Go The F**k To Sleep," which was originally narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "Go The F**k To Sleep"... Samuel L. Jackson.

And now the resultant "Go The F**k To Sleep" PARODY, "If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults," was, likewise, narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?"... Bobcat Goldthwait!

What kind of narrator were people honestly expecting to read this book aloud to them? Stefan Rudnicki?????

As for the vapid criticism of Mr. Goldthwait's narration performance, are any of the previous reviewers who specifically cited Mr. Goldthwait's narration skills, actually FAMILIAR with Mr. Goldthwait's comedic talents and his unique sense of timing a line for maximum effect?

I can understand that a few folks who are tight with a buck might be a little bummed that they had to pay $0.93 (if they missed the free for a day gift from Audible) for only 2 minutes of material. Oh, well...

As for myself, I feel that Marcy Roznick wrote a GREAT little parody and that Macmillan Audio gets bonus points for actually having taken the time to properly voice this short gem by hiring Mr. Goldthwait.

Kudos all around for a rare, comedic gem!

9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious and cheap

You may have heard the Samuel L Jackson narration of Go The F*ck To Sleep, this doesn’t disappoint

3 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Reminds me of my ex husband

I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.

3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Totally worth it

The perfect narrator for a hilarious book for parents. Sure to be in my Rotation permanently. Bob Golthwait is PEFECT for the story.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Waste of 2 minutes

I thought it was going to be a little bit funny. A total waste of time and money! I want my 95 cents back!

3 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

uuugghh

What would have made If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? better?

This isNOTHING like go the fuck to sleep. Bobcat doesnt do a good job.And the story isnt fun or funny like go the fuck to sleep. Godo thing it was only a buck

Would you ever listen to anything by Marcy Roznick again?

Maybe

What didn’t you like about Bobcat Goldthwait’s performance?

Uugghhh the story sucked

2 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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I’m confused

I don’t understand how this book is only 2 minutes long? I listened to it but I feel like I am missing something. Is this like a preview to buy the hard copy book or something? I’m not sure why I wasted an audible credit on something that’s not even complete?

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Just Bad

Marcy Roznick uses bad language as crutch to support his bad jokes.


#satire #sweepstakes #tagsgiving

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Ok - ISH

I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.

1 person found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Not what I had in mind.

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

If the writing had more sense than just slap-in humor, it could have been better.

What could Marcy Roznick have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

The narration was abnormal, it could have sounded more audible in the first place but it had me thinking if it was funny or just plain stupid.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Simply disappointed, how could they even let this book match up with "Go the F--k to sleep"?

1 person found this helpful

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