Regular price: $1.88

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
  • Get access to the Member Daily Deal
OR
In Cart

Publisher's Summary

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.

What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.

©2011 Marcy Roznick (P)2011 Macmillan Audio

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    36
  • 4 Stars
    30
  • 3 Stars
    31
  • 2 Stars
    15
  • 1 Stars
    27

Performance

  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    45
  • 4 Stars
    26
  • 3 Stars
    24
  • 2 Stars
    12
  • 1 Stars
    23

Story

  • 3 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    35
  • 4 Stars
    18
  • 3 Stars
    28
  • 2 Stars
    19
  • 1 Stars
    29
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Did any of the previous reviewers ACTUALLY LISTEN?

First of all, you GOTTA be kidding me! An average of only 2.5-to-3.0 stars???

Really, Nation???

This is a PARODY of "Go The F**k To Sleep," which was originally narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "Go The F**k To Sleep"... Samuel L. Jackson.

And now the resultant "Go The F**k To Sleep" PARODY, "If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults," was, likewise, narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?"... Bobcat Goldthwait!

What kind of narrator were people honestly expecting to read this book aloud to them? Stefan Rudnicki?????

As for the vapid criticism of Mr. Goldthwait's narration performance, are any of the previous reviewers who specifically cited Mr. Goldthwait's narration skills, actually FAMILIAR with Mr. Goldthwait's comedic talents and his unique sense of timing a line for maximum effect?

I can understand that a few folks who are tight with a buck might be a little bummed that they had to pay $0.93 (if they missed the free for a day gift from Audible) for only 2 minutes of material. Oh, well...

As for myself, I feel that Marcy Roznick wrote a GREAT little parody and that Macmillan Audio gets bonus points for actually having taken the time to properly voice this short gem by hiring Mr. Goldthwait.

Kudos all around for a rare, comedic gem!

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Reminds me of my ex husband

I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Totally worth it

The perfect narrator for a hilarious book for parents. Sure to be in my Rotation permanently. Bob Golthwait is PEFECT for the story.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • KAREN
  • Randallstown, MD, United States
  • 04-09-12

It was okay for what it was

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

I am familiar with the If You Give a Kid a Cookie books and this was my first Audible purchase. I mostly just wanted to see how the program worked. The sound is good, but the text came on a little strong for my taste. I don't know if its only the text or the combinationn of text and voice of Bobcat Goldthwait. So, it's over the top (IMHO) for the text, but mild for Goldthwait.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Just Bad

Marcy Roznick uses bad language as crutch to support his bad jokes.


#satire #sweepstakes #tagsgiving

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious and cheap

You may have heard the Samuel L Jackson narration of Go The F*ck To Sleep, this doesn’t disappoint

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

lol

A little short but what do you expect for about a buck.

Still I thought it was funny.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • JD
  • 01-05-15

decent.

it was amusing but not as good as Go The F*** To Sleep or You Have to F***ing Eat. For the price though it was well worth it. got a solid laugh

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Ellington
  • Lawrenceville, GA United States
  • 12-17-14

Ok - ISH

I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

a poor man's "go the f&$@ to sleep"

not nearly as good. if you can get Go the F&#$ to Sleep, get that instead. the only good part was Bobcats performance.