I See You, Survivor

Life Inside (and Outside) the Totally F*cked-Up Troubled Teen Industry

By: Liz Ianelli, Bret Witter - contributor

Narrated by: Xe Sands, Liz Ianelli

Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins

Publisher's summary

A survivor of the Troubled Teen Industry exposes the truth about the dark side of a billion-dollar industry's institutionalized abuse—and shares the story of her own fight for justice.

Liz Ianelli, known around the world as Survivor993, spent years at the Family Foundation—labeled an “institution for troubled teens.” The children who went through The Family School like her were good people. They had potential and dreams, but they came out with lifelong trauma: anxious, angry, paranoid, self-hating and in pain. Most of them have suffered lives of hardship, unable to integrate back into society. Hundreds have died, mostly by overdose and suicide.

I See You, Survivor is about what really happened at The Family and what continues to happen at thousands of facilities like it. Beyond the trauma, this book is about triumph, resilience, and an effort to help others, and it conveys Liz’s critical message for every survivor she sees:

“You are not broken. You are not unlovable. And you are not alone. There are millions of us. And I come with a message, for you, for them, for everyone: They act strong, but we are stronger. We are worthy. We are not alone. Speak, and we will be there for you. Speak, because there is power in your testimony. Speak, and we will win.”

This is a book first and foremost for survivors who can find support and community in these stories. It is also for parents, counselors, law makers and others to expose this industry for what it is: child abuse. And how that abuse has consequences for all of us.

©2023 Liz Ianelli and Bret Witter (P)2023 Hachette Books

I've never felt more seen or validated.

Thank you Liz, Lioness of Survivorland.
Your work will help so many of us. Thank you.

I hope

to live, to see the day when the TTI falls.
-I do not believe, that I am the only one.

Couldn't put it down

If you're looking for a story of trauma and triumph wrapped in a pretty little bow this is not it. This is a raw, unfiltered story of a woman who's endured more trauma than many of us can imagine and has continued despite that.

If you have preconceived notions on how pain should be dealt with and can only tolerate the 'socially acceptable' ways to heal, you will be uncomfortable. And honestly, I challenge you to read this if that's the case.

Beautifully written, and while I hate commenting on narration when people are baring their souls, the narration was fantastic and made the story that much more powerful.

It's insane that the TTI still operates currently. The fact that there are so many adults willing to participate in organized abuse is sickening.

Shame on parents like Liz's who show no remorse or acknowledgement for their actions and instead place blame on children. You are the real failures.

Oh, and this isn't a self-help book to make you feel better about yourselves or entertain you - this is someone's life. Take a second to remember that before reading.

Thank you…

It has been many years of trying to explain this to people. No one believes me. I feel so much better knowing other people have holes in their memory. I thought that was just me. And the dreams. They are horrible. I appreciate you so much Liz. You were there for me when we lost Suzanne. You understand. I am so proud of you for doing what many of us have not been able to do…tell our story.

Amazing

My husband went to several TTI. At 37 he really broke down. I’ve been on the hunt for everything I can find to help him. If you haven’t heard of thanks to Calvary in Missouri look it up. You probably you part of the reason it was raided by the fbi ❤️

reality of situation

n/aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aa aa as aw aa aa aa aa aa aa aa aa aa aa aa aa aa oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo it it it it it it nope nope nope nope*i8i8i8 i i i i* i ******* *********

Raw, Painful, Haunting

I am not typically capable of listening to audiobooks due to ADHD and auditory processing disorder. But I stumbled across this book when researching survivor stories and it gripped me from beginning to end. I listened as soon as work ended and late into the night for 2 days straight; then I played it again. The voice actor is perfect for this story. She had the sound of a weathered woman baring her soul. I absolutely recommend this book; but it is not for the faint of heart and if you are a trauma survivor, you will be triggered. So please read with safety measures in peace. But please read it.

FINALLY! This book is monumental.

I waited impatiently for this book to be released for 3 long months! It didn't disappoint at all, it was amazing! Liz successfully captures the horror, the pain, the heartache and utter despair that haunts every program survivor, even years later. She explains the industry, with all it's wretchedness and corruption. She commemorates her friends beautifully, telling the story of those of us who have passed away due to the long term psychological effects of these destructive institutions. Liz did a fabulous job on this book! I love the honesty, the vulnerability, and the TRUTH, I appreciate her telling it! So brave! Such a wonderful book! Thank you Liz, I feel seen :)

Must read / listen #iseeyousurvivor♥️

Amazing contribution and testimonial of the hell that is the troubled teen industry. Highly recommended for survivors, therapists, social workers, judges, lawyers, police, and PARENTS! Written and read exceptionally.

A massive trauma dump

One of the opening lines of this book is, “this is a story about overcoming trauma.” No it is not. This is a story about living in trauma and continuing to do so forever. This is not about healing, it’s about vengeance and also all about Liz, who I don’t know personally by the way. I also really question the categorization of this book as a memoir, because so much of it is untrue. I am writing this as a survivor of the same boarding school.

It’s hard for me to even write this review, because while I appreciate the attention being brought to TTI, it’s not the right attention. There are so many blatant lies and bending to the point of breaking the truth. I know this author has done some great work bringing awareness to the horrors of the Troubled Teen Industry, and I’m not discounting that. She is right, we have lost so many of our peers to addiction and suicide. What survivors need is for the truth to be heard, seen and acknowledged, but what we also need is hope and a blueprint for overcoming trauma and where to go from there. There is no hope in this book. I would think as a self proclaimed trauma therapist, that there would be some kind of healing here and there is not. There is just the darkness.

I am so disappointed in this author. The stalking and obsession with revenge is absolutely not how you heal from the past. Unlike the people who abused us, it’s not our job to become them; to become the judges, juries, and executioners of the people who hurt us. The author even admits to being very punishing of her peers even after the school, taking it upon herself to tell others how to behave to the point of physical punishment, the exact same way that she was punished and abused. She also claims to support all survivors, but her stalking and intimidation has spilled over onto other survivors and not just staff. She has fruitlessly tried to intimidate survivors who want to work on projects of their own. The only story she is interested in telling is her story, and the only truth she wants to put out there is her own version of the truth.

I know people who went to the school with her who will tell you that her stories are embellished and just complete fabrications, and they will tell you that she is exploiting the same group of survivors that she claims to be a champion for.

Her recounting of events seem to be a story she has told herself so often that she has come to believe these events as truth. This rings A Million Little Pieces with a much more narcissistic tone and not nearly the gripping storytelling. The only comparison is the false advertisement as a memoir. I’m not saying she did not suffer abuse or that horrible things didn’t happen there. She did, and horrible things did happen. But the truth is bad enough without having to be exaggerated. The truth is important, and really the truth is the only thing that matters.

As an avid reader, I have a lot of issues with the story, and the writing in general. Beyond the other issues with this book, it’s poorly written with no character development, even with a ghost writer. The plot is inconsistent.

She claims to have climbed into a coffin with her friend who was actually cremated, which she states in the book. She hates her dad to the point of dismembering and stapling frogs to the side of her house to teach him a lesson (which, according to her, is not psychopathic behavior), and then sings his praises at certain points. In the end it turns out that she has been paying some of her personal property off, which her parents ended up owning and then taking back without her knowledge. I’m not sure how you would be paying a car payment thinking it’s in your name and not realizing it’s not.

She also claims to have been holding onto a bottle of bleach for a period of time, and drinking it and realizing it was vinegar with the word vinegar written in sharpie on the side. I can’t even fathom how you wouldn’t notice that, unless you were unable to read, taste or smell. I have never drank bleach, but I know it’s vastly different from vinegar. It’s also really troubling that the day her friend got hit in the head with a can and was presumed dead, that she planned to hide the body with another student instead of helping her injured peer, and then proceeds to define that as a story of true friendship. The sickness runs deep here. If this is the light she chose to paint herself in, I can’t imagine what else she is holding back. This is not a person that I would look to as an example in any capacity.

I caution any survivor of institutional abuse to take this with a grain of salt. Please don’t take this as a blueprint of how to heal, or even as the truth. This is not healing, and this is not truth. While I sympathize and feel very strongly about my own experience and how dark and traumatic it was, I do not condone lying, embellishing, stalking and using your pain to hurt others. This is a massive trauma dump and nothing else. Do better, Liz