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Publisher's Summary

Khalil Rafati went to Los Angeles in the 1990s and had it all. He was working with Hollywood movie stars and legendary rock musicians, but it wasn't long before he found his way into the dark underbelly of the City of Angels.

When he hit rock bottom - addicted to heroin and cocaine, overtaken by paranoia and psychosis, written off by his friends and family - he grabbed a shovel and kept digging. At 33, Khalil was 109 pounds, a convicted felon, high school dropout, and homeless junkie living on the infamous Skid Row in downtown L.A.

So how does someone with nothing, who feels like they deserve nothing, and who just wants to end it all turn their life around?

I Forgot to Die is an incredible true story of pain, suffering, addiction, and redemption - and how one man ultimately conquered his demons and wrote himself a new life story.

©2015 Khalil Rafati (P)2017 Tantor

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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What a story!!!

I have read many addiction memoirs & this is by far the most intriguing, exciting, & helpful books I have ever read. I absolutely loved this story & believe many other people will to! I will most definitely be suggesting this to my friends and family. Truly AMAZING.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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Gangster

Best book I've ever listened to. Crazy story that everyone should hear. Rags to riches

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Decent book.

While I respect Kahlil for finally getting clean, I think most people wouldn't have the same luxuries or resources he did to assist him in doing so. Most people don't have a Malibu nearby, loaded with rich people. Put Kahlil in South Philadelphia and I imagine his recovery story is a little different.

Oh, and that crap Robbie was spitting out near the end of the book is complete textbook BS. THAT was his sponsor?!?

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Courtney
  • Falls church, VA, United States
  • 05-25-17

Jails, Institutions & (almost) Death

Jails, Institutions and Death is a term oft recited by members of Narcotics Anonymous when describing the inevitable destination of a person in active addiction. I hungrily consume addiction memoirs in that way that people feel compelled to slow down and peer at a horrible accident. Some might think this is a character flaw, but I think of it more as a gratitude check--"There, but for the grace of God, go I".
"I Forgot to Die" doesn't disappoint. It is the story of a man who should be dead. It is the story of a man who wanted to die and tried to kill himself on the time payment plan of addiction.
Khalil Rafati tells a story that is sad, but not that unusual. His father was verbally and emotionally abusive, his mother was devoid of a spine and unable to defend him. His childhood home was a cold, unfriendly, unsafe place--the kind that often breeds psychopaths. Khalil was not a psychopath, in fact, he more resembles an empath in his account.
In his addiction, which was severe and life-threatening, he was abusive to the people closest to him, but that is true for most addicts. At other times, he expressed love and gratitude for the people in his life who reached out to help him. Some were enablers who only prolonged his nightmare, but others were angels of mercy.
All recovering addicts are miracles, but Khalil's story stands out. He was a boy, then a man who invested all of his energy in trying to be comfortable in his own skin. He distracted himself with drugs, women and money until there was nothing left but himself-barely alive and there he received the gift of despair and began the climb out of the grave he had dug for himself.
Ultimately, this is a story of pain, degradation and redemption. I would recommend it to anyone, but I think that addicts and their loved ones who read this book may gain insight, sympathy and most importantly, hope.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Fantastic

Im a nurse and see addiction daily. Im also a believer in God and the straight n narrow!!!! Wonderful wonderful book.

8 of 9 people found this review helpful

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Amazing book

I love this book what a amazing man .. he is so inspiring .. some of stories made me cringe because I to see people throw there life away .. but I'm so glad that he got it together and the tools he used to get there .. i never did hard drugs or anything like that I would recommend this book to anyone suffering from depression and abandonment.. this book changed the way I think moving forward .. you just gotta learn to drop your story( all the bad stuff that happened to you ).

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Lindsay
  • Denver, CO, United States
  • 12-15-17

No Christmas for junkies

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Sure, because I don't regret the book, but I doubt I'll listen to it a second time.

Would you recommend I Forgot to Die to your friends? Why or why not?

I'd recommend the book to people struggling with addiction, or those who enjoy biographies/autobiographies about addiction. There were some religious undertones, but nothing too heavy, so that would also shape my recommendation too.

Any additional comments?

Typical story about overcoming addiction, but worth a read.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Authentic and real

It was pretty difficult to listen to the whole story as Khalil was going down into his spiral; listening to why and understanding and relating was heavy. I thank Khalil for sharing his story because in the end, as hard as it was to hear, he shared truth and beauty. Thanks Khalil.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Great story and ending

Overall well written, great narration (which for me can make or break a book), and cohesive story and journey to wellness. you wanted to to root for him. i would have liked even more graphic drug useage stories, b/c I am sure they were edited out possibly due to his new 'status' but it was good nonetheless

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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One of the best memoirs ever

So raw, humble, real and unfiltered. A graphic but necessary uplifting story for anyone who ever questioned his or her ability to turn things around. Highly recommend.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • jcv
  • 09-07-18

Amazing Story

Amazing Story so Inspiring, So Moving, So Every Thing, Thank You For Sharing Khalil, will be coming to Malibu and Have one of those ownsome Smoothies.

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  • LittleLiverbird
  • 01-19-18

One of the best books I've ever read

Absolutely brilliant book. Khalil gives us a no holds barred look at addiction in every way. I went through every emotion reading this book. It really drew me in and was narrated beautifully.

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  • Nicola
  • 01-18-18

I really wanted to like this book.

Some of the stories are so far fetched. Demons seen in crack psychosis cannot leave actual deep claw marks all over your back. If you roll your car seven times and clear out four mailboxes landing on a residential property- the cops don’t just call you a taxi home. The secretary of Malibu NA is not going to call you a filthy junkie and call for your arrest. And given the constant state of being covered in blood, dirty and strung out, how come so many celebrities want to hang out with Khalil? I wanted to like it but there’s no real recovery in this book, just a lot of cocky bravado. His thinking is still in active addiction. That said, credit to anyone who can write a story and earn a wage from it.

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  • LBlanco
  • 11-04-17

Awesome! ^_^

The best audiobook about addiction and recovery out there. Honest, real, well narrated, dark but also very funny sometimes. This book will help many people. Hope, faith, love and compassion are the key to recovery, specially to yourself. I am very grateful to Khalil for being brave and for writing this book. It is an amazing journey to L.A and the dark side of the drugs world. Addiction is the same for everyone, it doesn't matter if you are using heroin, sex or gambling. It will take your will, power and control your life and life is the only thing we have. Thank you very much for sharing your experience and for helping others. I REALLY recomend this audiobook.

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  • Natalie
  • 07-03-17

had my attention from start to finish

great read, couldn't stop listening.
love the honesty and beautifully read.
definitly worth reading. thank you

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 10-06-18

This is the best read I've experienced all year.

Raw, honest and inspiring. Do yourself a favour and read it today. I love when an audio is read by the author, you feel their experience through their voice.

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  • Mummysweeting
  • 08-25-18

Honest and captivating

This book was very interesting and captivating and had a nice pace throughout the book.
Giving a very interesting perspective into another person’s life and world and how they overcame adversity to then have a full turn around and devote themselves to helping people that had the same problems he had.
Good luck with your future endeavors and congratulations on the book. I would recommend this audiobook especially to families who are going through the devastating stages of youth with drug addiction.