
How to Win a Million Dollars and Beep Glitter
A Mostly True Misadventure
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Narrated by:
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Patrick Mealey
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By:
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Luke Stoffel
About this listen
How to Win a Million Dollars is a madcap, self-deprecating, laugh-out-loud, mostly true misadventure that takes readers on an adventure through the wildly inventive, sometimes-questionable, but always entertaining schemes of a boy who would do anything to make it big.
Growing up as a gay Catholic schoolboy in a tiny Mississippi River town surrounded by cornfields, Luke’s imagination was constantly set on fire by million-dollar daydreams and DIY hustles. Whether it was hunting down the missing Cap’n Crunch or gaming McDonald’s Monopoly, no scheme was too ridiculous, no shortcut too far-fetched. With his trusty Hustler bike and a mountain of determination, Luke didn’t just dream—he plotted.
As Luke grew up, so did the schemes—evolving into a real-life Broadway Cinderella story (dirty hands and all), a stint as an artist in Paris, and even facing a curse from a vengeful Hawaiian goddess. Along the way, heartbreak lands him in a temple in Laos, a moment sets him on a path of self-reflection, transforming his chase for success into a journey of self-discovery.
With razor-sharp wit and heartfelt vulnerability, How to Win a Million Dollars explores the glittering highs and crushing lows of chasing the American Dream, in a world shaped by Reaganomics, dyslexia, and the crumbling façade of opportunity. From paperboy scams to going for broke in the App Store before an experimental spin with AI, it asks the profound question: Where do we end, and where does AI begin? This story is proof that while everything can fall apart at any moment, the journey—chaotic, messy, and wildly imperfect—is the real prize. And maybe, just maybe, there’s still a million-dollar dream out there, waiting to be won.
©2024 Cinderly, LLC (P)2024 Cinderly, LLCCritic reviews
"An exuberant life story written with humor, panache, and heart." -Kirkus Reviews
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What listeners say about How to Win a Million Dollars and Beep Glitter
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- John Pierce
- 02-10-25
Couldn’t put it down
5+ hours straight, I truly couldn’t put it down. Having played some kind of part in many of Luke’s schemes I wasn’t sure what to expect from this one. Yet it may be my favorite one thus far as we know there will be more. His story telling was authentic and true to the “beautiful mess” that is Luke. I think I may even like him more now if that’s possible. It was funny, smart, relatable and emotionally raw. I loved it!
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- HollyK
- 02-05-25
Suspend, funny, emotional.
This book was suspenseful. The beginning travelled back to the 1980s looking at consumerism through a kid’s eyes. It was also raw. Sometimes I had to stop listening I was so scared about this sweet kid being bullied for being different. Then when he wrote about one of his best friends dying, I could truly feel his pain. It was interesting listening to all the things this small town Boy accomplished after leaving Iowa. I highly recommend it.
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- lucasstoffel
- 02-14-25
Excellent performance! Great story.
Patrick Mealey delivers an excellent performance, bringing youthful vibrancy to the early chapters and tackling the emotional moments with warmth and compassion. His narration captures the eager determination of a young dreamer while adding just the right amount of grit. A fantastic listen from start to finish.
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