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How to Be an Ex-Footballer
- Narrated by: Simon Darwen, Peter Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
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How to Be an Ex-Footballer
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Publisher's summary
Brought to you by Penguin.
Often recruited before they've worn long trousers, today's footballers become superstars who earn huge amounts without ever learning much about the world beyond the training ground. Coddled by their support teams, everything is done for them. They live their lives in the glaring media spotlight, yet only really develop one life skill—how to kick a ball better. Then inevitably, when age catches up with them or injury strikes, these man-children are thrown out into the real world, utterly defenceless apart from their multi-million-pound bank accounts.
So what do these Peter Pans, whose careers end just as most people's are getting going, do with the rest of their lives? Crouch speaks from his own experience and discusses with fellow former professionals too—just how do you safely release a near seven-foot striker back into the wild?
Peter goes in search of the answer to what his second career might be and encounters stories far more bizarre than anything you'll find on the pitch. From the pleasure and pain of management to the lessons we can learn from Jamie Carragher and Joe Cole on not going to seed. From those staying in the sport—the diehard veterans, coaches, managers, owners and of course the legion of pundits, to those moving on to pastures new. Peter talks to entrepreneurs, men of the cloth, eco warriors, artists, private detectives and budding actors, as well as those who've lost their way in addiction, crime and NFTs.
When the final whistle blows, it's still all to play for.
Critic reviews
"The funniest man in British sport." (Metro)
"Peter Crouch is a comedy genius." (Daily Mail)
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-
The Barcelona Complex
- Lionel Messi and the Making—and Unmaking—of the World's Greatest Soccer Club
- By: Simon Kuper
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 12 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 116
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Story5 out of 5 stars 104
FC Barcelona is not just the world’s highest grossing sports club, it is simply one of the most influential organizations on the planet. At last count, it had approximately 214 million social media followers, more than any other sports club except Real Madrid CF—and by one earlier measure, more than all 32 NFL teams combined. It has more in common with multinational megacompanies like Netflix or small nation-states than it does with most soccer teams. Journalist Simon Kuper tells the story of how FC Barcelona became the most successful club in the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic
- By steve finkelstein on 10-27-23
By: Simon Kuper
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Calling the Shots
- How to Win in Football and Life
- By: David Dein
- Narrated by: Arsène Wenger, David Dein
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story5 out of 5 stars 29
There's no doubt that Dein has been one of the most significant and influential figures in British football for over three decades—operating at club and international level. He was a prime mover in the creation of the Premier League, hugely influential within the England set-up and, of course, was the mastermind—along with Arsène Wenger—in creating the glory days of Arsenal Football Club, leading the team for almost a quarter of a century.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Modern Day Herbert Chapman
- By Will on 02-10-23
By: David Dein
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A Champion's Mind
- Lessons from a Life in Tennis
- By: Pete Sampras, Peter Bodo
- Narrated by: Mark Deakins
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 179
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 144
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Story4 out of 5 stars 143
Pete Sampras is arguably the greatest tennis player ever, a man whose hard-nosed work ethic led to an unprecedented number one world ranking for 286 weeks, and whose prodigious talent made possible a record-setting 14 Grand Slam titles. While his more vocal rivals sometimes grabbed the headlines, Pete always preferred to let his racket do the talking. Until now.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not As Strong As His Forehand
- By A. M. Dalessandro on 07-21-09
By: Pete Sampras, and others
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January Window
- By: Philip Kerr
- Narrated by: Andrew Wincott
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4 out of 5 stars 102
Everyone knows football is a matter of life and death. But this time, it's murder. Scott Manson is team coach for London City football club. He's also their all-round fixer - he gets the lads into training, and out of trouble, keeps the wags at bay and the press in his pocket. But now London City manager Joao Zarco is dead, killed at his team's beloved stadium at Silvertown Docks. Even Scott Manson can't smooth over murder... but can he catch the killer before he strikes again?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great mystery but even better football story
- By roger w patton on 05-14-15
By: Philip Kerr
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David Mitchell: Back Story
- By: David Mitchell
- Narrated by: David Mitchell
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,466
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,331
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,314
David Mitchell, who you may know for his inappropriate anger on every TV panel show except Never Mind the Buzzcocks, his look of permanent discomfort on C4 sex comedy Peep Show, his online commenter-baiting in The Observer or just for wearing a stick-on moustache in That Mitchell and Webb Look, has written a book about his life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the Funniest, Clever Brits around
- By Delia on 08-30-13
By: David Mitchell
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Relentless
- Secrets of the Sporting Elite
- By: Alistair Brownlee
- Narrated by: Alistair Brownlee
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 55
In his quest to define ‘sporting greatness’, double Olympic champion Alistair Brownlee has spent nearly four years interviewing and training with some of the greatest minds in sport to discover what it takes to become—and remain—a champion.
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5 out of 5 stars
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🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅 What's With The Bad Reviews?!!
- By Rachel on 12-02-21
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The Master
- The Long Run and Beautiful Game of Roger Federer
- By: Christopher Clarey
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 15 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 352
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 304
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 304
There have been other biographies of Roger Federer, but never one with this kind of access to the man himself, his support team, and the most prominent figures in the game, including such rivals as Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, and Andy Roddick. In The Master, New York Times correspondent Christopher Clarey sits down with Federer and those closest to him to tell the story of the greatest player in men's tennis.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Roger, voiced by Schwarzenegger
- By S. Armour on 08-27-21
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This Is Esports (And How to Spell It)
- An Insider’s Guide to the World of Pro Gaming
- By: Paul Chaloner
- Narrated by: Paul Chaloner, Sarah Ovens
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 20
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story5 out of 5 stars 17
What is competitive gaming, and where did it come from? What makes it so exciting? The bitter esports team and country rivalries, the scandals, the money, the last-minute Hail Mary plays; it’s all here, brought to you with the trademark wit - and access - of the industry’s most respected and experienced broadcaster. He’ll even tell you how to spell it. This is the world of esports according to its most famous presenter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very interesting content with great narration
- By Tsouth2 on 06-03-20
By: Paul Chaloner
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Barca
- The Making of the Greatest Team in the World
- By: Graham Hunter
- Narrated by: Graham Hunter
- Length: 14 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 116
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 103
Barcelona is the greatest football team in the world, the greatest for a generation, and possibly the greatest of all time. This is the untold inside story of how the best and most loved football team in the world came to redefine how the game is played. We start with the 2011 Champions League final at Wembley, the game that ended the debate about whether Barcelona was the greatest team in the world and began a new one: are they the best ever?
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5 out of 5 stars
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In-depth analysis of the greatest team ever
- By Michalis Petrou on 01-09-18
By: Graham Hunter
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A Life Too Short
- The Tragedy of Robert Enke
- By: Ronald Reng
- Narrated by: John Telfer
- Length: 13 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story5 out of 5 stars 35
Why does an international footballer with the World at his feet decide to take his own life? On November 10, 2009, the German national goalkeeper Robert Enke stepped in front of a passing train. He was 32 years old. Viewed from the outside, Enke had it all. Here was a professional goalkeeper who had played for a string of Europe's top clubs, including Jose Mourinho's Benfica and Louis Van Gaal's Barcelona. Enke was destined to be his country's first choice for years. But beneath the veneer of success lay a darker story.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Depression is real, this story brings it home.
- By Bob Seavers on 12-13-19
By: Ronald Reng
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I Think, Therefore I Play
- By: Andrea Pirlo, Alciato Alessandro
- Narrated by: Ric Jerrom
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 83
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 73
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 73
Andrea Pirlo is one of the finest footballers of his generation - a World Cup and Champions League winning playmaker who has redefined his position at the base of midfield, and one of the most deadly free-kick takers the game has known. This is his story, in his words. It is written with a level of humour and insight which confound his image as a dead-eyed assassin on the field of play.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Short and Sweet
- By Gary Meenaghan on 01-07-24
By: Andrea Pirlo, and others
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Fantasy Life
- The Outrageous, Uplifting, and Heartbreaking World of Fantasy Sports from the Guy Who's Lived It
- By: Matthew Berry
- Narrated by: Matthew Berry
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 497
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 451
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Story4 out of 5 stars 452
In Fantasy Life, Berry celebrates every aspect of the fantasy sports world. Brilliant trash talk. Unbelievable trophies. Insane draft day locations. Shake-your-head-in-disbelief punishments. Ingenious attempts at cheating. And surprisingly uplifting stories that remind us why we play these games in the first place.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Fun but repetitive
- By T. Myers on 01-09-14
By: Matthew Berry
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My Story
- By: Steven Gerrard
- Narrated by: Michael Ryan
- Length: 13 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 234
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 214
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 212
Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of My Story by Steven Gerrard, read Michael Ryan. Steven Gerrard is the former captain of Liverpool football team and of the England national football team and is the only player ever to have scored in a FA cup final, a league cup final, a UEFA cup final and a champion's league final. His entire career, since 1998, has been spent at Anfield with Liverpool.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Ohhhh, ya beautyyy!!
- By Gabriel on 09-29-15
By: Steven Gerrard
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How Did All This Happen?
- By: John Bishop
- Narrated by: John Bishop
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
If you're a man of a certain age you'll know there comes a point in life when getting a sports car and over-analysing your contribution to society sounds like a really good idea. With a good job in sales and marketing and a nice house in Manchester that he shared with his wife and kids, John Bishop was no different when he turned the dreaded 4-0. But instead of spanking a load of cash on a car that would have made him look like a senior stylist at Vidal Sassoon, he stumbled onto a pathway that ultimately lead him to become one of the nation's best loved comedians.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heartwarming and Funny
- By Nancy Burnett on 12-01-22
By: John Bishop
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Spain
- The Inside Story of La Roja's Historic Treble
- By: Graham Hunter
- Narrated by: Graham Hunter
- Length: 16 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story5 out of 5 stars 21
This is the story of the greatest achievement in the history of international football. After decades of failure, Spain won the European Championship in 2008 and then the World Cup in 2010. At Euro 2012 they became the first team to win three consecutive tournament titles. Graham Hunter was inside the dressing room as the players celebrated after the finals of the World Cup and Euro 2012.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Insider look masterclass
- By Peter on 08-07-15
By: Graham Hunter
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Why Soccer Matters
- By: Pele, Brian Winter
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 139
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 128
Soccer. Football. The beautiful game. The world’s most popular sport goes by many names, but for decades, fans have agreed on one thing: the greatest player of all time was Pelé. Now the legendary star, ambassador, and humanitarian shares a global vision for what soccer can accomplish. Now he shares his story, his experience, and his insights on the game for the very first time. Before Messi, before Ronaldo, before Beckham, there was Edson Arantes do Nascimento - known simply as Pelé.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Pele that will win your heart.
- By Montholon on 12-24-20
By: Pele, and others
What listeners say about How to Be an Ex-Footballer
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jennifer Lindsay
- 07-04-23
Very much on brand same as the other books good listen
Gives a good insight into life after football and what some of the down falls can be.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- PrincetonWill
- 12-23-22
Parts good, parts ehh
This was a fun listen but there were moments where you cringed at how entitled sone of the story come off. A good listen overall
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