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Publisher's Summary

What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail - just to start with....

Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I've embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?

Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno-writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also, leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a best-selling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn't commit - by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I've found my calling after all.

©2013 Robyn Peterman (P)2017 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Caution: so funny, you'll wet your pants!

If you're looking for a fun escape this book is it! I've read other Peterman titles that have made me laugh, but didn't have the same magic in audio format. This book doesn't have that problem. The premise is funny, the characterization is hilarious, the story within the story brought tears of laughter to my eyes and the boyfriend's voice is just sexy!
Really, it's raunchy and hilarious and it will make you snort coffee out of your nose - read it.

10 of 10 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • BikeVON
  • Southfield, Mi, United States
  • 09-17-17

Totally hysterical!!!

***Excessive Searing***

How hard can it be … to become a romance novel writer? Rena, our protagonist, feels it is not hard at all. She is a CPA who happens to write numbers; so she kinda writes now. She also felt, showing up to the news station for a month straight would get her the job to be a meteorologist. Instead, it resulted in her receiving a restraining order against her, 6 hours in jail, and being the story on the 6:00 news.

Jessica Almasy’s narration was delightfully, youthful, and energetic. Within the first 3 minutes she transports you to the era of Lucy Ball. Rena turns all situations amusing by her bungling and incompetence.

In Rena’s her quest to become a writer goes to writer’s workshop, where she finds a group of eclectic geriatric women, who write romance novels. Rena’s goal is to meet the New York times bestselling romance novelist, Evangeline O’Hare.

From that point, her life is a roller coaster of events; finding her true love, being arrested, losing her true love, being blackmail and family dinners with an aunt who think aliens are living in her toaster. It is Rena’s sense of justice and passion that motivates her to write Pirate Dave and His Randy Adventures.

This is a hilarious book that I will read again and again. The next books in the series are about different characters. It is Rena and her quirky entourage’s adventures that I enjoy.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Teeth- grindingly annoying

I tried. I really did. I love romance books, they provide an escape from the daily grind of life. However, I could not bear to get past the first five chapters. The main character, Rena, was childish and reminded me of the “valley-girl” airhead. The others had no depth and taken from “Romance characters 101.”
Don’t waster your hard earned time and money on this.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Absolutely hilarious!

It took me a few minutes to get into this book, but once I did I thought it was hysterically funny!! Will definitely listen to the next books in the series! Loved the main character and her friends. Not sure what it says about me, but I didn't notice the profanity that other reviewers mentioned.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

funny at times, but most was totally implausible

I was just not a fan. The author used the same expressions and jokes repeatedly in the book. The romance element was pretty stupid. There were definitely some funny parts, but a lot of moments where I said "Oh, come on." to parts that have no basis in reality. oh well, it passed the time.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Robyn
  • FRANKSTON SOUTH, Australia
  • 01-13-18

It wasn’t that funny

I was looking for an amusing read and being guided by reviews I bought the book. In the early stages, yes, I did laugh and thought I’d be in for a rib tickler but not so much. It’s hard to be consistently funny and this book supports that. The story was a little different and the characters are unique which kept my interest.
It’s an okay read but don’t expect it to be hilarious from go to woe.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A bit surprised by the language

R-rated. Not because of sexual content but the sheer quantity of f-bombs and their equivalent. There’s a point where it ceases to be funny and becomes tiresome. The story was really fun and the writer succeeds in making it even painfully funny — so much so you want to duck your head and just haul off laughing, until, as I said you grow tired of the nasty language and just wish she’d back off by half. The narrator does a great job. Heed the warnings and give it a try. You’ll laugh!

8 of 10 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • JThralls
  • HOUSTON, TX, United States
  • 04-08-18

This book is wholly unrealistic

I'm a 30-year old female CPA. The main character acted more like a sex-starved 16 year old than a woman who has been through years of business school and passed one of the hardest tests in existence. Further, how is she poor? She's got a dead beater car and lives with a roommate, but she's got her CPA in a low cost of living state. There's so much here that is completely unrealistic that it just ruined the story.

Other than that, it's a well written story, very well narrated, and good for a raunchy escape from reality.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Just not the type of humor I thought I was getting

I stopped listening after 2 hours, but picked it up the next day and stayed with it to see if it got better. (My kind of better not others I suppose.) Don't get me wrong, it's not bad as in 'yuck'. For whatever reason, the characters and the story just irritated me too often. It just didn't float my boat. It is not a title I will want to pick up and listen to again, and that is important to me.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

So damn funny!!!

I love love loved this audiobook. I almost crashed my car I was laughing so hard. Narrated by Jessica Almasy with her fantastic voice shined with her ability to bring out all the wonderful characters. A beautifully written romantic comedy, Robyn Peterman has supplied plenty of ha ha moments, and touching sad moments that will make you tear up. This audible will for sure be one I will listen to again and again. I'll be purchasing the rest of the series for sure!

3 of 4 people found this review helpful