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Holy Cow
- Narrated by: David Duchovny
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
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Holy Cow
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Publisher's summary
A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist from the star of The X-Files and Californication, featuring Elsie, an unforgettable four-legged heroine.
Holy Cow by David Duchovny is a comic delight that will thrill fans of Jasper Fforde and Ben Aaronovitch. And anyone who enjoys a witty wisecrack in a novel.
Elsie Bovary is a cow and a pretty happy one at that. Until one night,Elsie sneaks out of the pasture and finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God--and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.
The only solution? To escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Shalom, a grumpy pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who can't fly,but can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport...
Elsie is a wisecracking, slyly witty narrator; Tom dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians.
David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance the world desperately needs.
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 291
Raised in a stern, abusive Mormon household, a teenage girl starts to question her religion and struggles to find her destiny.
Her father is abusive, her mother is submissive, and her church looks the other way. Confused and angry, Pattyn Von Stratten acts out and is sent to live with an aunt on a Nevada ranch. She finds the love and acceptance she craves, with disturbing consequences.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I cried
- By Anonymous User on 04-28-17
By: Ellen Hopkins
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The Fat Man
- A Tale of North Pole Noir
- By: Ken Harmon
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 100
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4 out of 5 stars 81
Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way, things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic Holiday Listen
- By PastorJim on 12-17-10
By: Ken Harmon
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Stories
- All-New Tales
- By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, Al Sarrantonio - editor, Joe Hill, and others
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Jonathan Davis, Katherine Kellgren, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 880
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 687
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Story4 out of 5 stars 687
The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Something for Everyone
- By Nicole on 05-24-17
By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, and others
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,547
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,959
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,929
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 336
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 287
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 286
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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1 out of 5 stars
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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Dirty Chick
- Adventures of an Unlikely Farmer
- By: Antonia Murphy
- Narrated by: Antonia Murphy
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,098
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,005
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,007
One month into our stay, we'd managed to dispatch most of our charges. We executed the chickens. One of the cats disappeared, clearly disgusted with our urban ways. And Lucky [the cow] was escaping almost daily. It seemed we didn't have much of a talent for farming. And we still had eleven months to go." Antonia Murphy, you might say, is an unlikely farmer. Born and bred in San Francisco, she spent much of her life as a liberal urban cliché, and her interactions with the animal kingdom rarely extended past dinner.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!
- By kara-karina on 02-11-15
By: Antonia Murphy
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KooKooLand
- A Memoir
- By: Gloria Norris
- Narrated by: Gloria Norris
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
Gloria Norris grew up in the projects of Manchester, New Hampshire, with her parents; her sister, Virginia; and her cat, Sylvester. A snapshot might show a happy young family, but only a dummkopf would buy that. Nine-year-old Gloria is gutsy and wisecracking. Her father, Jimmy, all dazzle and danger, is often on the far side of the law and makes his own rules - which everyone else better follow. Gloria's mom, Shirley, tries not to rock the boat, Virginia unwisely defies Jimmy, and Gloria fashions herself into his sidekick - the son he never had.
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1 out of 5 stars
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this was so awful I could only listen to a little
- By Wyowoman on 09-14-18
By: Gloria Norris
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Hannah's Dream
- By: Diane Hammond
- Narrated by: Laura Flanagan
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 52
For 41 years, Samson Brown has been caring for Hannah, the lone elephant at the down-at-the-heels Max L. Biedelman Zoo. Having vowed not to retire until an equally loving and devoted caretaker is found to replace him, Sam rejoices when smart, compassionate Neva Wilson is hired as the new elephant keeper. But Neva quickly discovers what Sam already knows: that despite their loving care, Hannah is isolated from other elephants and her feet are nearly ruined from standing on hard concrete all day.
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4 out of 5 stars
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excellent narration, enjoyable story
- By Elizabeth on 05-11-13
By: Diane Hammond
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Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance
- A Novel
- By: Ruth Emmie Lang
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve, Peter Berkrot, Cassandra Campbell, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 780
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 681
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 681
Stopping a tornado was the first of many strange events that seem to follow Weylyn from town to town, although he doesn't like to take credit. As amazing as these powers may appear, they tend to manifest themselves at inopportune times and places. From freak storms to trees that appear to grow over night, Weylyn's unique abilities are a curiosity at best and at worst, a danger to himself and the woman he loves. But Mary doesn't care.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Accidental Wonder!
- By Brandy Pendergrass on 02-16-18
By: Ruth Emmie Lang
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The Folk of the Fringe
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Scott Brick, Stefan Rudnicki, Emily Janice Card, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 231
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 90
Only a few nuclear weapons fell. But in the chaos of famine and plague, there existed a few pockets of order. The strongest of them was the state of Deseret. The climate has changed, and the lake has filled up. There, on the fringes, brave, hardworking pioneers are making the desert bloom again.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Short Story Collection
- By Sam on 02-09-07
By: Orson Scott Card
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A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 228
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 209
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Story4 out of 5 stars 210
In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
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Vampires in the Lemon Grove
- Stories
- By: Karen Russell
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey, Joy Osmanski, Kaleo Griffith, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 279
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 249
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Story4 out of 5 stars 250
In the collection's marvelous title story, two aging vampires in a sun-drenched Italian lemon grove find their hundred-year marriage tested when one of them develops a fear of flying. In "The Seagull Army Descends on Strong Beach, 1979", a dejected teenager discovers that the universe is communicating with him through talismanic objects left in a seagull's nest. "Proving Up" and "The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis" find Russell veering into more sinister territory.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Stylish modern magic realism
- By Ryan on 04-10-13
By: Karen Russell
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Fragile Beasts
- A Novel
- By: Tawni O'Dell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer, Laural Merlington
- Length: 15 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
When their hard-drinking but loving father dies in a car accident, teenage brothers Kyle and Klint Hayes face a bleak prospect: leaving their Pennsylvania hometown for an uncertain life in Arizona with the mother who ran out on them years ago. But in a strange twist of fate, their town's matriarch, an eccentric, wealthy old woman whose family once owned the county coal mines, hears the boys' story and takes them in.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tawni O'Dell Fan
- By bette on 09-20-10
By: Tawni O'Dell
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Falling Together
- A Novel
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Julia Gibson
- Length: 14 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 141
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 120
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Story4 out of 5 stars 121
It’s been six years since Pen Calloway watched her best friends walk out of her life. And through the birth of her daughter, the death of her father, and the vicissitudes of single motherhood, she has never stopped missing them. Pen, Cat, and Will met on their first day of college and formed what seemed like a magical and lifelong bond, only to see their friendship break apart amid the realities of adulthood. When, after years of silence, Cat - the bewitching, charismatic center of their group - e-mails Pen and Will with an urgent request to meet at their college reunion, they can’t refuse.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Narrator's breathy voice a turn off
- By Amy on 10-16-11
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The Boy Who Talked to Dogs
- A Memoir
- By: Martin McKenna
- Narrated by: Aaron Abano
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 554
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 516
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 515
Badly misunderstood by his family and teachers, Martin escaped from endless bullying by running away from home and eventually adopting or being adopted by six street dogs. Camping out in barns, escaping from farmers, and learning to fend for himself by caring for his new friends, Martin discovered a different kind of language, strict laws of behavior, and strange customs that defined the world of dogs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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*Changes, -EVERYTHING
- By Michelle wilkes on 09-05-20
By: Martin McKenna
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The Dinosaur Hunter
- A Novel
- By: Homer Hickam
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
Life on the ranchlands of Montana comes with more than its share of trouble. The unique people who live and work on this untamed stretch of today's American West expect it---and some of them even enjoy it. One of them is Mike Wire, a former homicide detective who once worked the decadent hills and valleys of Hollywood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Like Craig Johnson? You'll like this, a good story
- By Cheryl on 01-05-11
By: Homer Hickam