Holden After and Before

Love Letter for a Son Lost to Overdose

De: Tara McGuire

Narrado por: Tara McGuire

An extraordinary hybrid memoir by writer and broadcaster Tara McGuire, Holden, After and Before melds truth and fiction, as Tara tries to grapple with the loss of her son, Holden, after he died from an accidental opioid overdose. At once, McGuire creates a contemporary coming-of-age story, along with a devastatingly thorough depiction of a mother’s grief.

With heroic honesty and searing insight, McGuire opens her heart for listeners to accompany her as she tries to reconcile with the unthinkable. In a stylish blend of fiction and fact, as McGuire listens to Holden’s voice after he dies, she recounts and imagines what led Holden to his tragic end, and creates ways to honour Holden’s life.

©2022 Tara McGuire (P)2022 Penguin Random House Canada

Scripting a Soul's Message

Tara McGuire's "Holden Before and After" is an emotionally gripping exploration of loss, addiction, and the complexities of personhood and parenthood. Through intimate storytelling, McGuire delves into the heart-wrenching journey of piecing together her son Holden's final year leading up to his tragic overdose.

McGuire's raw honesty about the challenges of understanding our children's inner worlds makes this book particularly poignant. She beautifully articulates the universal struggle of parents who grapple with the fear of disappointing their children and vice versa, leading to a cycle of masked emotions and hidden truths.

McGuire's narrative style is both sensitive and intuitive. She skillfully weaves together fragments of Holden's life, from his joys to his struggles, offering readers a glimpse into the humanity behind addiction. Through her own experiences and observations, McGuire sheds light on the meticulous facade that individuals with addiction often maintain to conform to societal expectations.
One of the most compelling aspects of "Holden Before and After" is McGuire's willingness to confront the stigma surrounding addiction. As a public figure, she bravely exposes her family's pain, knowing the potential judgment it may invite. Her exploration of guilt and trauma, both her own and her son's, is both heartbreaking and cathartic. It left me grateful for the gift of my children and tremulous that this story could have been mine.

McGuire's writing is exquisite, seamlessly transitioning between different perspectives and timelines. Whether narrating from a first-person account or relaying information from external sources, she paints a vivid picture of Holden's world, even when the details remain elusive.

Narrated by the author on Audible, "Holden Before and After" becomes a profoundly immersive experience. McGuire's voice adds depth to an already powerful story. It’s not a book that graced my recommended list. After reading her essay, an excerpt from the book I Can Feel Him Breathing’, I had to search to find it. This is a book that needs to get in front of more readers.

In "Holden Before and After," Tara McGuire delivers a poignant tribute to her son while offering a nuanced exploration of addiction and parenthood. As Tara makes meaning and searches for benefit in losing her only son, the reader is reminded of the importance of empathy, compassion, and understanding as we are welcomed into this most intimate account of love.

To quote McGuire herself: "You can afford to be horrible to someone when you think you have forever to apologize." This sentiment captures the urgency the author impaled upon me to cherish my loved ones and embrace every moment I have with them.