Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

Depression in the First Person

By: Anna Mehler Paperny

Narrated by: Kirsten Potter

Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins

Publisher's summary

An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative-report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression.

In her early 20s, investigative journalist Anna Mehler Paperny had already landed her dream job. On the surface, her life was great. Nevertheless, she spiraled out, attempted suicide (the first of more attempts to follow), and landed in the ICU and then in a psych ward before setting out to tackle her recovery.

In Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me, Mehler Paperny turns her journalist's eye on her own experience and others' - in the ward; as an outpatient; facing family, friends, and coworkers; finding the right meds; trying to stay insured and employed. She interviews psychiatrists and other experts to reveal how primitive our methods of healing the brain still are - and provides an invaluable guide to a system struggling, and often failing, to help those in need. At once heartrending and humorous, outraging and serious, this is a must-listen for anyone touched by depression - and that's everyone.

©2019, 2020 Anna Mehler Paperny (P)2020 Tantor

I enjoyed this experience

I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a whole section of my life, you might not take me seriously because of my age.

Hello, my name is Keira, and I am 16 years old. Though I have never attempted suicide, I have had suicidal thoughts. I’ve never cut myself but I still deal with issues.

At first, I chose this book because I wanted to know how to manage my own suicidal thoughts. I didn’t read the description but I found this book to be amazing. There is so much information to take in and it made me remember my purpose. The purpose I decided for myself, I want to be a teacher or counselor. I want to help people, help people that are like me.

It also made me fearful of the world, like, the mistreatment in facilities and the mental health world. I am genuinely afraid of wanting to get help because of people’s bad experiences, especially considering how I am a person of color.

However, even through all that, I find it great that I was able listen to this story. To hear other people’s stories. I truly wish they get better or live better in another life, I hope for a better world. I don’t know what I can do to make the world better but I want to try.

Insightful and Honest

This is an honest and insightful look at depression and the failings of the healthcare system and pharmaceutical companies to find new treatments thet work. Not only is depression an extremely complicated and individualized illness, but the treatments must be tailored to each person. There is no one-size-fits all way of coping. This book looks at the ugly side of mental illness - the side that no one wants to talk about, and even less people want to hear about. However, the writer has presented it in a way that is compelling due to its raw and unfiltered style.

the author put my jumbled thoughts into words

the author and I as well as alot of people share pretty similar feelings and experiences and have had similar attempts and before listening to the book I was unable to put my thoughts or feelings into words or understand what I was feeling and why the huge black hole. I love all the research she included and I'm able to understand more about my illness and have my book references to check out now.

Well written, odd choice of narrator.

I probably would have liked it better had I read it and not listened to it. The narrator had an odd tone, almost glib, throughout the entirety of the book which was off putting when discussing serious topics. Additionally she constantly mispronounced common words which was highly distracting. The text itself was very thorough and insightful.

Wow

This book was so true to me it’s scary. If you can stomach the sarcasm and brutality of the truth of depression and suicide.

Insightful

Gives some great insight to the inner workings of the treatment of depression, and the major flaws in finding ways to help treat mental illnesses.

eye opening

helped with my own issues. also opened my eyes to the bigger mental health issues there are out there in the world. everything ties together. great listen.

Language

The information was right on. Enjoyed a first person perspective. Just disliked the cussing in the book.

Ugh

This book is the most self-involved thing I’ve ever read. I couldn’t stand to finish it. All she does is talk about every agonizing detail of her inner monologue. It’s more like you’re stuck being her therapist listening to her vent - but it’s one-sided and it’s an entire book long. I’m sure there are people for whom it is their cup of tea, but it’s not for me.

great info

great story and so true..I'd recommend to all therapist in training.. patient veiw is so true