Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

Depression in the First Person

De: Anna Mehler Paperny

Narrado por: Kirsten Potter

An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative-report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression.

In her early 20s, investigative journalist Anna Mehler Paperny had already landed her dream job. On the surface, her life was great. Nevertheless, she spiraled out, attempted suicide (the first of more attempts to follow), and landed in the ICU and then in a psych ward before setting out to tackle her recovery.

In Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me, Mehler Paperny turns her journalist's eye on her own experience and others' - in the ward; as an outpatient; facing family, friends, and coworkers; finding the right meds; trying to stay insured and employed. She interviews psychiatrists and other experts to reveal how primitive our methods of healing the brain still are - and provides an invaluable guide to a system struggling, and often failing, to help those in need. At once heartrending and humorous, outraging and serious, this is a must-listen for anyone touched by depression - and that's everyone.

©2019, 2020 Anna Mehler Paperny (P)2020 Tantor

Excellent

As a person with mental illness, I have at times felt so unstable that I considered death as an escape from my problems. Thankfully, I've had many years of counseling, medication, education, and success that have helped me overcome my difficulties (for the most part) in order to enjoy life and be an effective, contributing member of society. For me, this book affirmed my path and gave me further information to understand science, the medical field, and fellow sufferers. The author's writing style was very engaging, and the narrator did an exceptional job of making me feel like she was actually the author telling her story. I will look for more from these talented individuals.

Must read for those struggling with mental health and those who treat it.

Books like this give me a little hope and reassurance I am not alone. I think this would be an amazing read for mental health practitioners and clinics everywhere.

gained a lot of insight into depression.

I loved this book, the voice narrating the book matched well. The content was informative and entertaining as much as you can entertain a topic like this to keep ones attention

Finally!

Wonderful! Brutally honest, powerful, and heart-wrenching words that keep you wanting more! I related to her story in so many ways, good for her in speaking out on a HUGE PROBLEM!

DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER, WORDS, MOODS…

This is, in my estimation, a fantastic book. At first, I thought it was the best book I’ve read/heard yet on depression, despondence, personal descriptions of a history failed suicide attempts and being run through the neuro-pharmacological mill. I never would have guessed any of that from reading the book title. From that, I was expecting whiny, pedantic, passive-aggressive self-care drone, but this book is exactly the opposite:: No bs., real-deal, genuine, relevant with no wasted words SOLID CONTENT. I think maybe the author is engaging in a bit of “tongue in cheek, humor-as-therapy for traumatic events” methodology in their writing and I’ve found it useful to keep that possibility in mind as I listen. The book is easy to listen to, the narration is great. Certainly nothing clinical, cold or efforted.

Big Caveat #1: the author’s summation of Ketamine and psychedelic therapy. They had one single experience with ketamine, kicking and screaming just to placate a doctor at Yale’s department of treatment-resistant depression. The rest of what they’re reciting reads like it was pulled from Newsweek Magazine. This is the weakest part of the book for me Treatment with Pyschecelics cannot be evaluated like Adderal is. The effectiveness of this method is evaluated over months combined with forms of therapy that are often artistic. The author has no experience, has apparently done no deep research, yet they state predetermined snarky opinion as though it’s fact. Boo. The cover is now appropriate.

By the middle of Part 2 and into Part 3, the author’s pedestrian sense of exploration becomes concrete statements of absolute fact about things they’re (in truth) only guessing at, From hard science science to perspective on additional examples and alternative methods comes to prevail. Their humor is replaced by cynical and snarling opinion which is stated as absolute fact. This shift in tone happens so quickly that it’s stunning. Suddenly, and 180 degrees opposite of the first part of the book, life sucks and a victimized voice is telling us so. While this triggers every bit of critical thinking, corrective fact-checking bone in my body, the bipolar shift is a actually illuminating, and for me it makes the book more interesting, The Big Snarky exhausting shift may reveal cognitive and emotional components that serve as a foundation for the most severe and devastating forms of depression that is humorously described, in detail, in the first half of the book.

Part 3 continues to descend into interpretative, opinionated, sideways story telling based real patient cases, read from notes, The author has had it up to *here* with people. And don’t get her started on men (“dudes”), or women she deems to be feminist. Or succesful people. Or married couples. My God! The author, an office worker, now believes they’re an authority on psychology, the human condition, and medicine. And what? Looking down upon those who’ve succeeded in suicide? A pile of summarized terribly depressing tales? Now I’m depressed. This is weird and I have reduced interest and attention. It’s not that I don’t care about people’s difficulties, it’s that I don’t like the author creating condensed version that can be used to hammer the reader with over and over. Listening to cynical, talkative, overly opinionated ppl is bad for my emotional well being. In fact, I’m now taking a break or bailing out from listening to this book. It begins as a revealed memoir and ends as a non-stop rant.

What a fascinating study this book is. For some, the first half of the book is truly great, and possibly worth the price by itself. For others the entire book may a valuable mind study of someone who describes the severe and long term nature of their existential crisis, uses casual humor to as a mask, and then tires of the mask and exhibits sense of security that’s derived from cynical narrow thinking, way too much opinion, and lots of anger at everything in the world. . Wow. Now, the book title and cover art are even more off track. The person present by the last part of the book is absolutely not vulnerable and does not ask questions, let alone for help.

eye opening

helped with my own issues. also opened my eyes to the bigger mental health issues there are out there in the world. everything ties together. great listen.

Wow

This book was so true to me it’s scary. If you can stomach the sarcasm and brutality of the truth of depression and suicide.

Unlistenable

Sadly, this is unlistenable due to narration. It’s truly unlistenable I tried and tried. The narration is so far off. you just can’t listen to it

fantastic book. helped me

helps you look at different conditions and treatments differently. excellent presentation and narration. good narration for a topic like this is the difference between listening for 2 minutes or to all of it

Everyone needs to hear this

I’ve fought my way out of addiction, homelessness, and years of treatment-resistant depression. I’ve tried the SSRIs—they triggered suicidal thoughts instead of helping. Each time I reported it, I was told to “try another pill.” No one stopped to ask why my brain reacts this way.

I’m not chasing a miracle; I’m asking for modern options like ketamine when the serotonin meds clearly fail. Not only do they fail but you never feel the same after taking them- or having those deeply dark S.I. that you never had before taking the med. Yet the system keeps cycling people through trazodone and SSRIs as if that’s compassion.

What Anna Mehler Paperny doesn’t say in Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me is that she’s lucky—she grew up in Canada. I grew up in Texas. Down rhere, if you have a mental-health crisis and no insurance, you don’t get treatment, or a social worker, much less a case manager—you get jail, court costs, probation. Probation sets you up for failure. Then you can’t get a job, NO COMPANY or BOSS wants to let you off for an hour or three every other week so you can go see your P.O. and pay 100$ to the county.

I’m sober, I’m active in my community, and I’m asking for care that actually fits. I’m proof that survival takes more than medication; it takes a system willing to think beyond “protocol”.