Growing Up with Addiction

How Adult Children of Addicts Can Heal Family Trauma, C-PTSD, and Codependency

By: Tian Dayton PhD

From the leading expert on adult children of addicts, an essential guide to healing wounds of growing up with addiction and family dysfunction

“Required reading for understanding the full picture of recovery, repair, and reclaiming our true selves.”—Aimie Apigian, MD, author of The Biology of Trauma

Approximately 76 million adults in the U.S. share a family history of addiction. In this urgently needed resource, Dr. Tian Dayton draws on decades of expertise to help adult children of addicts (ACAs) recover from family trauma, reconnect with themselves, and heal relational wounds.

If you’ve grown up with a parent’s addiction, it can leave a profound imprint on your development. Its ripple effects reach into every corner of adulthood—how you partner, parent, work, and form friendships. “Relational trauma weaves into the fabric of your life, shaping how you see yourself and the world,” writes Dr. Dayton. “It can leave you questioning your worth, mistrusting intimacy, and feeling disconnected from your inner world.” But it doesn’t have to stay this way.

This book helps you explore the illness that shaped your family, understand the imprint it left on you, and set out on a path towards inner and relational recovery. “Healing begins with learning to distinguish real danger from old, outdated alarms,” writes Dr. Dayton. “It requires tuning into your nervous system, tracing your automatic reactions, and gently questioning the distorted beliefs and fear states your wounds left behind.” Throughout the book, you will learn how to:

• Process attachment wounds and cognitive distortions caused by gaslighting and denial
• Reawaken and reconnect with your body in ways that feel safe and grounding
• Understand your emotions and regulate them when they feel out of control
• Grieve unspoken losses and let your inner child find its own, authentic voice
• Heal from long-term CPTSD and codependency and find post-traumatic growth

Grounded in research, enriched by client voices and narratives, and filled with experiential processes, light a path unearthing buried pain and transforming it into meaning and purpose. This book empowers you to flourish in recovery, break the chain of intergenerational dysfunction, and create a compassionate and connected future for yourself and those you love.

©2026 Tian Dayton, PhD (P)2026 Sounds True

Critic reviews

“In Growing Up with Addiction, Dr. Tian Dayton compassionately gives voice to the wounded child parts and burdens carried by adult children of addiction. This book offers not just insight but deep empathy—illuminating how internal systems impacted by addiction can find pathways toward integration, resilience, and wholeness. A deeply needed contribution to both clinical and personal transformation.” —Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, founder of Internal Family Systems, author of No Bad Parts

“In Growing Up with Addiction, Tian Dayton offers a compassionate and insightful exploration of the intergenerational impact of relational trauma. By interweaving personal narrative, clinical wisdom, and embodied therapeutic practices, she creates a compelling bridge between lived experience and emerging neurobiology. Her willingness to share her own history adds rare authenticity, keeping the reader engaged on a deeply personal level. Just as importantly, her decades of clinical practice bring depth, clarity, and grounded insight to complex emotional and relational dynamics. This book serves as both an accessible introduction and a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand—and heal—the legacy of trauma in families.” —Stephen Porges, PhD, creator of Polyvagal Theory, author of The Polyvagal Theory and Safe and Sound

“Dr. Dayton has written the book I wish I’d had when I first began to understand how deeply childhood experiences shape us. What sets this book apart is its embodied approach; it doesn’t just explain why ACAs struggle, it shows them how to rewire their nervous systems through experiential practices. As someone who trains practitioners worldwide in addressing the impact of relational trauma on our biology, I can say this is required reading for understanding the full picture of recovery, repair and reclaiming our true selves.” —Aimie Apigian, MD, addiction medicine physician, author of The Biology of Trauma