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Getting Off

One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction
Narrated by: Joy Osmanski
Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
4 out of 5 stars (150 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

A courageous account of one woman's unflinching and ultimately hopeful journey through sex and porn addiction.

A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame - these are not things we often hear women share publicly, and not with the candor, eloquence and introspection Erica Garza brings to Getting Off.

What sets this courageous and riveting account apart from your typical misery memoir is the absence of any precipitating trauma beyond the garden variety of hurt we've all had to endure in simply becoming a person - reckoning with family, learning to be social, integrating what it means to be sexual. Whatever tenor of violence or abuse Erica's life took on through her behavior was of her own making, fueled by fear, guilt, self-loathing, self-pity, loneliness, and the hopelessness those feelings brought on as she runs from one side of the world to the other in an effort to break her habits - from East Los Angeles to Hawaii and Southeast Asia, through the brothels of Bangkok and the yoga studios of Bali to disappointing stabs at therapy and 12-steps back home.

In this remarkable audiobook, Garza draws an evocative, studied portrait of the anxiety that fuels her obsessions as well as the exhilaration and hope she begins to feel when she suspects she might be free of them. And yet there is no false or prepackaged sense of redemption here. Even her relationship with the man she will ultimately marry seems credibly, painfully rocky as it finds its legs with several false starts. Erica's increasing sense of self-acceptance and peace by journey's end feels utterly earned and absent of recovery platitudes.

In exploring the cultural taboos surrounding sex and porn from a female perspective, Garza offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact that Internet culture has had on us all.

©2018 Erica Garza (P)2018 Simon & Schuster

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Fascinating venture into the mid of a highly sexual woman

I found this book to be very honest, raw, and very interesting. Extremely well written and superbly narrated. As a man who has crossed path’s with women like Erica this really helped explain much. Women are complicated so every time I read a book or meet a woman with such astounding honesty and insight I learn and understand more (last one was “Wild”). Despite the title this book this isn’t a series of graphic descriptions about raunchy sex, if that’s what you’re looking for then skip it. In my opinion this book is about the need to balance sexuality, whether you’re a man or a woman, the porn addition is just one part of the whole picture. I look forward to reading more from Erica, and not just about sex. She’s clearly very intelligent and I’m sure she’ll use that talent writing about all types of subjects.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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...very forthright.

She is unflinchingly honest in talking about her insecurities and how she used sex to self-medicate along with alcohol.We are all flawed creatures,and are all seeking some type of redemption or peace.That is what she writes about.She describes her exhausting masturbation sessions; and using pornography and cumming to dose any relationships that she encountered or developed.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Good book

I loved this book. It was so well written. It was also very well performed.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Incredible Book

As a writer, I like to tell myself that I don't have a filter and don't care what anyone thinks about the words I write and the stories I share. After reading Garza's tale, I realize I am nowhere near achieving the level of bravery and IDGAF that Garza obviously has mastered. Her tale is unique to hers, as all of ours our, but somehow, even without having been through any of Garza's experiences, I completely related to her feelings. The self-doubt. The belief that we're not good enough no matter what. The need to be loved. The automatic tendency to stay as far as effing possible from those who would love us as we truly deserve. Convincing ourselves that we've turned ourselves around and just know that *this* time, we won't let ourselves go back to the darkest places we've been - we're stronger now. Finding ourselves back in those dark places without really knowing how we fell back down there, and resigning ourselves to the fact that this who we are. Then finally realizing it's not us we need to change, because it's us we need to accept, imperfections and all.
Garza takes the reader on a story that is sometimes hard to hear, sometimes harder to believe, and sometimes even more shocking to think she put her name and face on it. The narration is spot on, makes it easier for the reader to listen to what we may shy away from reading.
I walked away from Getting Off with an incredible respect for Garza. Her story is a powerful one that took a very brave woman indeed to share with the world, and I am so glad she did.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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For the girl who needs to meet her inner woman

A very insightful book about a very real problem in our society. Men and women alike are faced with sexuality and pornography as a means of self identity. Erica Garza speaks about her truest experiences which can allow us to shed a light on our society. Today we face a constant stream of desensitization of sex, easily seeping into everything we do. Thus a sex addiciton can be born. Read this book but not with the gleam as someone may read getting to hear how someone gets off and their promiscuousity, instead as someone needing help from themselves. We are our own worst enemies in instances like this, and it is affecting young women everyday. It takes a strong and true desire to find the woman or man inside insearch of creating a healthy balance of sex and love. Thank you for sharing this taboo conversation of female sex addiction, as a means for normalcy so we can have the conversation.

The way that Erica shares and exposes her rawest self with a lack of checking in on herself sheds light on the unhealthy behavior patterns created, and the grasp it can have on your soul; Bringing you down and never letting you reach your truest potential, like with any true addiction. When you face her demons with her in this book it becomes a book of healing and confronting the demons that lies in this seemingly "cool" addiction.

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Not an addiction

I think the word "addiction" is overused here. In fact I don't recall hearing a true professional diagnosing the author as such. We do hear about a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The website WebMD at least admits that there is a controversy regarding sex addiction as a diagnosis and I would recommend the writings of Dr. Marty Klein. Another source is at https://www.skeptic.com/reading_room/skeptical-of-the-porn-skeptics/.
But there is no doubt that the author has gone through some difficult times and she has an important story to tell. I wish it was told in her voice instead of the narrator's but I have no objections to the narration. I saw the author giving an interview on YouTube and she doesn't have any difficulty speaking for herself.
Some of the problem in this author's life is that she has a strong but not abnormal sexuality. I would recommend this book to a reader who has at least a bit of skepticism regarding sex addiction. My fellow cultural Catholics will recognize a lot.

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author rationalizes her self described excesses

the author teeters on the brink of self discovery only to flounder in new age claptrap by the books end.

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A very intimate read

A very helpful look into someone who had suffered from sexual addiction. This book has helped me in understanding my own personal journey. :)

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Inside thoughts

This was a great book.
Thank goodness you keep those journals.
The thoughts inside your head make so much sense when they are yours. That is the funny thing about life. You never really know what anyone else is thinking.
Thank you.

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very disappointed 😞

I, struggled to get through this boring plodding story. There is so little discussion of sex and porn addiction. It failed to grab my attention on many levels. Poorly written . Title does.not do it justice .

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-14-19

Far more than a book about sex

Much better than first impressions. A book about insight into destructive patterns of behavior and the journey to a more thoughtful relationship with yourself.

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  • s
  • 06-22-18

A self obsessed weirdo

This weirdo doesn’t have any way to fix her as she is just an insecure white worshipping person who has a severe ingrained inferiority complex about being non white.

Just got bored of the endless stories of her shagging around and in the end she just learns to keep shagging around but not feel ashamed about it.

I didn’t know how insecurity can be linked to promiscuity . All you Can take away from this book is that if someone treats you like shit. They are a pile of shit themselves and there is no point beating yourself up about it. They don’t respect themselves and the don’t respect others.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful