• Summary

  • After decades of ineffective quotas, a revolutionary approach to breaking through the glass ceiling for women has come into focus—one shaped by a greater understanding of our gender differences instead of trying to ignore them. Today, Gender Intelligence is improving communication between men and women in organizations around the globe. It’s resulting in superior innovative thinking, more effective problem solving and decision-making, greater team productivity, and more enduring customer relationships.
    Gender Intelligence Group
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Episodes
  • Gender Intelligence and Conflict

    May 6 2021

    Barbara Annis begins the program by sharing some of the fundamental differences between men and women when it comes to conflict. She says the sexes really do react to conflict differently. Women tend to internalize conflicts and ruminate about it. Men tend to externalize it. They will often make a decision to either resolve it or move on, which as Barbara explains, links to the fight or flight response.

    What is S.A.R.A.? Shock, Anger, Rejection, Acceptance Barbara describes SARA as the path that men and women take as they go through situations of conflict. Her advice is not to get stuck in Shock, Anger or Rejections, but to commit to a period of ‘short-term’ suffering where you truly ‘feel’ those moments, but have a genuine intention to get to Acceptance. While men tend to get stuck in being angry and women often get stuck in rejection, Barbara believes we are ineffective in communicators when we are in either state.

    Blame-Frame and Outcome-Frame These are the two frames of reference that Barbara refers to in her books and workshops. She says blame is really about creating a win-lose. I’m right and you’re wrong. On the other hand, Outcome Frame is really about asking ‘what’s ’the win-win here?’ How can we get to understanding?

    Using Triangulation Barbara’s described the theory of ‘triangulation’ where people in the workplace choose to complain to others rather than taking on conflict in a direct way with an individual. Barbara explains why ‘triangulated behavior’ only complicates things, but it’s a pattern people fall into. She believes that rather than involving other people, it’s better to go directly to the individual you are having a conflict with to resolve it. The key is having ‘zero commitment’ to triangulation.

    What Can We Do About It? A Gender Intelligence Worksheet: The next time you’re in a conflict situation, take a few moments to review and apply each of these 6 ways to reach a positive resolution.

    Ten Techniques for Resolving Conflict: Regardless of gender, these techniques will help you when you find yourself in a conflict with a colleague:

    1. Stay calm. One big thing that can intensify conflict is anger. To keep the conflict from escalating, take a mental step back and remain calm. Chances are if you can remain calm, those around you will calm down as well.

    2. Listen to understand. Once the anger sets in, we tend to stop listening to understand and we start listening to argue back. It will be difficult, but you need to practice your active listening skills and listen to understand.

    3. Own what is yours. Are you part of the problem? Take ownership of your mistakes and apologize for them. This will usually surprise people—in a good way—and make them more open to resolving the conflict.

    4. Leave a little room for doubt. Rather than insisting that you are right and the other party is wrong, leave a little room for doubt. Take the opportunity to check your sources and confirm what you know. While you still may be right, you are gathering more information.

    5. Use an “I” message. “I” messages describe the experience from your point of view without blaming the other party. Using an “I” message is a way to express your needs, expectations, and problems to your listener in a non-‐confrontational way. Some examples: •I expect...•I understood you to say...•It was my understanding that...•I guess I misheard. Please...•I would appreciate it if...•I need...

    6. Attack the problem, not the person. If you want your point to be heard, depersonalize your comments and talk only to the issue. Rather than accusing the other party, frame your statements towards finding a solution. For example, instead of “You’re always getting that wrong,” frame the statement as “Let’s look at why this keeps happening.”

    7. Avoid finger pointing. In conflict resolution, assigning blame is only helpful in one situation—if you assign it to yourself. When trying to resolve a conflict, figuring out whose fault something is does nothing to solve the problem. Instead, focus on problem solving, not finger pointing.

    8. Pick your battles. Do you need to be right, or do you need to resolve the conflict? It’s human nature to want to be right. Unfortunately, this gets in the way of conflict resolution. Right or wrong, if the issue means a lot less to you than it does the other party, it’s best to concede.

    9. Focus on now. Stay out of the past — it doesn’t belong in conflict resolution. Bringing up old arguments or problems will do nothing to help solve the existing conflict. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, or who didn’t do what (both in the past), shift the focus to finding a solution.

    10. Be willing to let it go. Don’t hold on to past conflict. This only gets in the way of your ability to resolve conflict in the future.

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    21 mins
  • A Look Back at Barbara’s Path to Becoming an Expert in Gender Intelligence

    May 3 2021

    After a busy life raising a family and building a career in sales at Sony, Barbara Annis turned her interest in gender differences into a lifelong mission to bring Gender Intelligence into the workplace. In today’s episode, Barbara shares the story of her journey with Paul, and explains why there’s so much more to accomplish.

    One of the biggest ‘a-ha’ moments for Barbara was when she realized she wasn’t being fully authentic in her life. She describes how her persona at work, where she took on ‘alpha’ male behaviors to fit in and compete with her male colleagues, clashed with who she really was.

    Paul shared how when he first met Barbara, he instantly understood what she meant using the term “Gender Intelligence.” He says the title of Barbara’s first book, “Same Words, Different Language,” also rang true to him.

    Barbara described the process of writing, then editing her first book. She says it was well received, and a common reaction from people was “why didn’t I know this 20 years ago?” She says it was always her goal to create balanced learning for both men and women, without blame. She says men find it very freeing, and women find it incredibly validating.

    Find Barbara’s first book “Same Words, Different Language” here: https://www.amazon.ca/Same-Words-Different-Language-Intelligence/dp/0134513274 

    Barbara and Paul discussed some of the books Barbara co-authored. She described how her work with author Michael Gurian led to their partnership to write “Leadership and the Sexes.

    Find “Leadership and the Sexes” by Barbara Annis and Michael Gurian here: https://www.amazon.ca/Leadership-Sexes-Science-Business-2008-08-25/dp/B01FKWTYO0/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=annis+gurian&qid=1618508935&s=books&sr=1-1 

    Paul and Barbara also discussed Barbara’s book with John Gray entitled “Work With Me,” and how the two authors collaborated on ways to be authentically Gender Intelligent at home and at work.

    Find “Work With Me” by Barbara Annis and John Gray here: https://www.amazon.ca/Work-Me-Intelligence-Succeed-Barbara/dp/B00QAU26YC/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=barbara+annis+john+gray&qid=1618509058&s=books&sr=1-2 

    Today, Barbara describes her life as being much different than it was before the Covid-19 pandemic. Due to the success of her books and consulting work, Barbara spent many years ‘living out of a suitcase,’ and traveling from one keynote address to another. Today she does most of her work virtually. She says she’s finally convinced that workshops can be delivered virtually, and it’s an extremely useful platform for learning. That’s a big advantage for companies that wanted her to be able to scale her corporate learning programs globally.

    Barbara says the pandemic hasn’t changed her mission to bring the value of Gender Intelligence to thousands of organizations. She says a key to that is her “Be Gender Intelligent” online learning platform. It’s a 15-hour program where learners can earn their Gender Intelligence Ambassador certification.

    To learn more about the “Be Gender Intelligent” learning platform here: https://www.genderintelligence.com/digital-learning/ 

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    21 mins
  • Safety and Gender Intelligence

    Apr 29 2021

    "Over the last 40 years, studies have shown that female officers are less authoritarian in their approach to policing, less reliant on physical force and are more effective communicators. Most importantly, female officers are better at defusing potentially violent confrontations before those encounters turn deadly."

    Hiring & Retaining More Women: The Advantages to Law Enforcement Agencies Kimberly A. Lonsway Link to study: https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED473183 

    In this podcast, Barbara explains that she first began to consider the connection between Gender Intelligence and safety in the early 90s when some of her clients shared stories with her about how teams with women tended to outscore all-male teams on the implementation of safety practices in the workplace.

    Since then, many research studies have confirmed it. Barbara says that would reflect the brain differences between the genders. Because women think more contextually, they tend to be more detail oriented, and also tend to employ consequential thinking to a higher degree. In contrast men tend to be more transactional in their thinking and focused on accomplishing the task at hand. Barbara and Paul reflect on the research that demonstrates the benefits of having women in policing. Barbara explains the differences in the Amygdala, and how testosterone affects men and women differently. She shared the story of Vale, the global mining company that pivoted to embrace all forms of diversity including gender, after a tragedy in Brazil.

    Additional Material:

    Link to Barbara’s interview with Vale’s Chief Operating Officer, Dino Otranto: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GXRAe2qFJA 

    Gender Disparities in Injury Mortality: Consistent, Persistent and Larger Than You’d Think https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3222499/ 

    How Covid-19 is Changing Women’s Lives https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200630-how-covid-19-is-changing-womens-lives 

    A Simple Solution to Policing Problems: Women! Mindy E. Bergman, Jessica M. Walker, Vanessa A. Jean, Texas A&M University https://www.icos.umich.edu/sites/default/files/lecturereadinglists/bergman_walker_jean%20(2016)%20IOP%20women%20policing.pdf 

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    20 mins

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