Fortunately, the Milk

Narrated by: Neil Gaiman
Length: 58 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (1,059 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

"I bought the milk," said my father. "I walked out of the corner shop, and heard a noise like this: T h u m m t h u m m. I looked up and saw a huge silver disc hovering in the air above Marshall Road."

"Hullo," I said to myself. "That's not something you see every day. And then something odd happened."

Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and best-selling author Neil Gaiman.

©2013 Neil Gaiman (P)2013 HarperCollinsPublishers

Critic Reviews

“Did you know that Neil Gaiman can sound like a stegosaurus, a pirate, a volcano god, and even a bunch of green blobby aliens? Not only that, but he sounds like he's having an utter ball while he narrates, and it's impossible not to be swept up into the brilliant, batty fun.” ( AudioFile)
“…it’s hard not to love a novel that borrows equally from Calvin and Hobbes and The Usual Suspects. If you read only one book this year, a story with dancing dwarfs is always a wise choice.” ( Kirkus Reviews)
“Gaiman knocks it out of the park again with this imaginative story.” ( School Library Journal)
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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Where There Is Milk, There Is Hope

It should be a walk down the street, but on a father's trip to buy some milk for his children's cereal (and probably also his tea), aliens show up (as they do), and kidnap him. Dad escapes by breaking the time space continuum and lands himself on a 17th a pirate ship, and here - things get a little weird.

Throughout the rest of the book there are vampyrs, time traveling dinosaurs, exploding volcanoes, oh-so-self-fulfilling prophecies, and other fun things.

Neil Gaiman's Fortunately, the Milk is at the exact opposite end of his fiction as The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and I'm all for it. I love that Gaiman can write something as staggeringly powerful and hauntingly personal as The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and then turn around and bring us something as absurd and silly as this. It's a Dahl-esque tour with Dad as hero, with a stegosaurus inventor riding shotgun in a hot air balloon (sorry! Floaty-Ball-Person-Carrier). It reminded me of James and the Giant Peach and Gaiman's own The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish as well as his poem "The Day the Saucers Came." If you enjoyed those books, this one's right up your alley. It's a fun book, completely devoid of anything creepy/scary, and I can't wait to listen to it with my children.

Gaiman himself narrates it, and really, who else could possibly read it as well as him? He's a commanding reader, and it's great to hear him cut loose and be silly for an hour.

Professor Steg, the stegosaurus inventor says it best: "Where there is milk, there is hope." Well here, there be milk. And lots of it.

18 people found this helpful

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I loved this.

no seriously I loved this. if I could have given it more stars I would have. I'm quite sure things like this have happened to me in the past.

5 people found this helpful

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Only from the imagination of Neil Gaiman

Wonder mashup of popular imagery from children's literature. Funny, frothy, and fresh. Pour it on.

3 people found this helpful

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Delightful - Aliens, Pirates, Dinosaurs, oh my!

This is a delightful romp in which the father of the house, who takes rather a long time in fetching milk for his children's morning cereal at the corner shop, explains his tardiness with a story of an adventure -- his adventure and the milk's. He claims that he (and the milk) were abducted by aliens, captured by pirates, rescued by a dinosaur scientist in a hot-air balloon, threatened by "wumpires," almost sacrificed by jungle villagers to appease their god, and taken forward and backward in time. The milk plays a starring role, as you might expect.

The stories within the larger narrative are appropriately funny, scary, and gross for children's tastes, but older listeners will appreciate the layered humor (including friendly pokes at both My Little Pony and the Twilight series, and mention of "great old dinosaur songs" such as "Don't Go Down to the Tar Pits, Dear, Because I'm Getting Stuck On You").

Neil Gaiman's narration is like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every possible way.

This is not a classic, perhaps, but it's a great deal of fun.

3 people found this helpful

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Another great story.by Me. Gaiman.

Totally suitable for an elementary age child. Also great for an adult. Excellent story and narration.

1 person found this helpful

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Hysterical

I listened to this while grocery shopping. I got more than a few sideways looks for laughing, quite out loud, while listening with Bluetooth earbuds. they must've thought I escaped from the nut house.

1 person found this helpful

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Entertaining short story

Very imaginative story. Reminds me of Dr. Suess "To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street."

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Bazinga

This is such a hilarious story. I randomly found it after listening to some other Neil Gaiman books. I was laughing the whole time. I ended up purchasing the kindle and hardback copies as well. I read this to my children and they loved it as well. Neil always does a Fantastic job narrating his works and this was no exception.

Disclaimer: I've been listening at 2x speed for so long anything else sounds like slow motion. My enjoyment of the narrator is based on my listening speed.

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Par for the course for Gaiman

Which means it is EXCELLENT.

Usually, when I read the old "I could listen to {insert narrator} read the phone book." line, I discard it as hyperbole. But Mr. Gaiman is, for me, the only person for which that statement rings absolutely true. Here, he is excellent, again, as narrator. Truly one of the best narration voices in the world is possessed by this dude.

The story itself is also, as usual, excellent. It's full of the whimsy and humor that Mr. Gaiman always seems to be able to effortlessly tap into in his writing. It's short (59 minutes, ) sweet, and manages even in that short of a tale, create a world that charms.

Hell, I'd READ the phone book that Neil Gaiman writes, and that might be even higher praise.

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Gaiman. nuf said.

We listen to this book at least a couple times a week. My son loves the hilarious, adventurous tale and I love anything that's read by Neil Gaiman. He does all the voices to perfection and his voice is pure joy to listen to.