When I found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), my weight wasn’t my real problem – it was the complete madness I experienced around food. Food had controlled my life since childhood. I grew up in my great-grandmother’s house, and the kitchen was my sanctuary. I was a fearful child; the sound of the doorbell sent me running to hide under her skirt, but food meant love and safety.

I started using food to make myself feel better in high school when I was being bullied. Even after things got better, the feelings of insecurity didn’t. Food became my way to cope, and college only made it worse. I would seek refuge in a damp basement study space where I could eat alone. When my sister passed away at too young an age, weight began to show up on my body. Work in Washington, D.C. was challenging too; eating huge portions, hiding to eat, lying to cover it up – it was exhausting. I always made excuses to leave social events early. When someone at church asked what I put before God, I immediately knew my answer: food. At my lowest point, after consuming a bucket-sized family meal, I passed out in my car at a toll booth and was taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Through multiple sponsors and countless relapses, I eventually found true recovery. Today, FA serves as my guardrail, preventing me from driving off the cliff of food addiction. My relationships have improved, and I’m no longer hiding. I have so much gratitude for this program. It is my blueprint for living.

From vodka at 13 to nightly binges of flour and sugar in adulthood, my life was ruled by addiction. At 23, weighed down by blame, insecurity, and shame about being gay, I attempted to take my own life. At 24 years old, I found sobriety in A.A. After decades of struggling with food, weighing over 240 pounds, I discovered Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA). In FA, I began a journey of abstinence that transformed my life – body, mind, and spirit. In FA, I stopped blaming others and learned how to be honest with myself. I reconnected with a higher power and returned to a healthy weight. I even went back to school at 48, earned a degree, and experienced a rewarding final chapter in my career before I retired. I have also endured profound loss. I lost both of my parents within six weeks of each other, and not long after, my brother and sister. I was able to walk through grief abstinently, supported by the tools in FA and with a higher power guiding me. At 64, I live one day at a time, forever grateful for the Twelve Steps and the many, many gifts of recovery.

#lgbtq #grief #spiritualcondition #sober #abstinent #workingthetools

The oldest of six children with parents who were overwhelmed, but tried hard, she found comfort in food from an early age. Despite being an average student at a healthy weight, she struggled with self-doubt and a fear of failure. After leaving home, food became her go-to coping mechanism for fear, doubt, and insecurity. Throughout her recovery, she faced many health challenges — including multiple sclerosis, tuberculosis, and numerous surgeries. When she found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), she thought she could manage on her own. However, true change only came when she followed suggestions, got a sponsor, and used the tools of the program. She now has deep and meaningful relationships, and she finds joy in the simple things. Her story is an example of the advice to “stay until the miracle happens.