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You Suck  By  cover art

You Suck

By: Christopher Moore
Narrated by: Susan Bennett
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Publisher's summary

"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, the woman of his dreams, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, 16-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call-girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

Love in vein: listen to more vampire fiction.
©2007 Christopher Moore (P)2007 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"A cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love....Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page." (Publishers Weekly)

Featured Article: The 25 Best Vampire Audiobooks to Suck You In


Vampire stories have fascinated people across cultures for generations. From gothic Transylvania to early-aughts Washington, it seems like vampires have taken every form in every culture and every country around the world. From all of these options, we’ve selected 25 of the best audiobooks from the pack—those with the most captivating characters, creepiest settings, and, perhaps most importantly, the best vocal performances available.

What listeners say about You Suck

Average customer ratings
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    1,730
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

A Comic San Francisco Treat

I downloaded this listen in preparation for a weekend trip back to San Francisco, my adopted home town. It was perfect--a great guide around the locations and freaks that make SF the best city in our country. You Suck is even funnier than Bloodsucking Fiends because of the addition of a new character, Abby Normal, a teenage-age goth turned giddy minion. Susan Bennett's readings of Abby Normal's journal entries made me laugh out loud every time.

I'm hoping that Christopher's next announced book, Bite Me, slated for 2010 is a part III and is also read by Susan Bennett.

Because this is a character-driven book and the characters grow on you with exposure, I recommend reading Bloodsucking Fiends before starting on You Suck. You'll then welcome The Emporor and The Animals back rather than be annoyed by their craziness.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

this is just funny....its good funny fiction

this is just funny....good funny fiction.
I would recommend it.
Mind you..I think you have to have some twisted humor in mind but its funny

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

The fifth star is for the narrator

Great book, but I can't imagine having enjoyed it quite as much without the narrator's talented portrayal of the characters. Every character had its own nuanced voice.

Funny characters, amusing story line, fantastic dialogue. I wish I had realized that it was a sequel, though, because I hate reading series books out of order. Nevertheless, I fully enjoyed this book even without having read the predecessor.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Abby Normal rocks

Abby Normal is the best and main reason to listen. the narrator was exceptional. her different voices were fab!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Falls Short

I dunno, maybe this book is better than I judged it, but it falls short of so many of Moore's other books. The writing and humor common to his other books attempt to carry the book, but just can't do it. Too bad, because I really wanted to and expected to enjoy the listen.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Laugh, Laugh. Laugh!

Christopher Moore is one of my favorite authors and I love this book! The narrator Susan Bennett is a hoot! wow, so talented!!! I will now read anything she narrates! She would make a stereo manual a great listen lol

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

I love Moore but, the production...

I love all Christopher Moore Titles. The narrator and the story of this book are on par with all of his work. However, between chapters, they play music that sounds like you woke up at 1am after leaving the T.V. on Cinemax in the '90s. if you like Moore you will like this story but be prepared for softcore "large sausage pizza delivery" music between every chapter.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Amusing

Good story, and the characters are interesting and amusing. The reader does an excellent job with characters' voices.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious!!!

the first book of this series was great, but the addition of a certain goth girl made this one a million times better! Hilariousness for days!!!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Do They Give Awards For "Best Reader"?

I'm not at all surprised to have enjoyed this yarn - Christopher Moore's twisted plots and California Speak dialogue is impossible to resist, even at its least inspired. What did surprise me was how much this book benefitted from being read aloud by Susan Bennett. The ease with which Ms. Bennett switches from one urban California accent to another is simply amazing. From Hispanic Cop to Goth Valley Girl to Chinese Granny Just Off The Boat to Jock Doofus to African-American MBA, you name it-Bennett can mimic it to perfection. This woman needs an exclusive contract to record ALL of Christopher Moore's works - nobody else can do him complete justice.

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25 people found this helpful