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Publisher's Summary

"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, the woman of his dreams, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, 16-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call-girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

Love in vein: listen to more vampire fiction.
©2007 Christopher Moore (P)2007 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

"A cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love....Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page." (Publishers Weekly)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    1,278
  • 4 Stars
    783
  • 3 Stars
    271
  • 2 Stars
    72
  • 1 Stars
    50

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    269
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    75
  • 2 Stars
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    12

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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Sort by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Sue
  • Glendale, AZ, United States
  • 02-04-07

Doesn't suck

This funny story was greatly enhanced by the wonderful performance of the narrator. I plan on reading more by Christopher Moore because I enjoyed this one so much.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Talia
  • TULSA, OK, United States
  • 03-11-13

Vampires Have Never Been Funnier

I love Christopher Moore novels, and this was one was no exception.

The second book in Moore's vampire trilogy ("Bloodsucking Fiends" is first), this book continues the story of Jody and Tommy after she has been turned.

The dry humor and sarcastic wit of his characters and their dialogue makes me laugh so much. I love how he intertwined characters from “A Dirty Job” into this novel. It was neat to the see the scene in Asher’s Secondhand Shop from Jody’s perspective instead of Charlie’s.

Loved the book, but initially, I wasn’t too keen on the ending, but it works well with the third, and final, novel in the series, "Bite Me."

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • fred
  • greensboro nc
  • 02-22-08

Fun and funny

The funniest vampire book I've ever heard...the only comedic vampire book I've ever heard. The characters are fun and their adventures are hilarious. Everyone is a target and fair game. You can tell the author enjoys grossing us out.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Was not what I expected

I didn’t like the way this book was read or really how it is written, but I really liked Christopher Moore’s other books.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hey Boo

Another great read. Hysterical, all around. I love Abby Normal ... I would love to see her have her own book writing a book. Don't let the vampire thing turn you away. Great series !

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • j
  • 08-29-17

Hysterical!

It takes a lot to make me laugh! Looking forward to reading next in series....

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Jody
  • anchorage, AK, USA
  • 06-15-17

Granted I didn't know this was a sequel...

I felt like this book was not as original as a lot of C.M.'s books I have read. Here is a list of my favorites:
Fluke
Lamb
Lust Lizard Of Melancholy Cove
Coyote Blue
Island of the sequined love nun

All these books to me were nothing like any book I had experienced, totally original and true to his style. You suck I felt was a bit hurried? And it did not read as much like a Christopher Moore as i expected.
I put off buying this book for a few years because I didn't like his character Abby... although I started to like Abby normal as her humor a quirky attitude started to present but as Christopher had said himself he was not used to this kind of character, and it showed in that it was a bit over the top. It was entertaining, but I did miss the first book so i felt lost in the story and it felt short to me.

Narration: I was not a fan really I felt like her male characters were not presenting as the author intended.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Love this series!!

What made the experience of listening to You Suck the most enjoyable?

The story is interesting, and funny, and the narrater, Susan Bennett, makes the book that much more enjoyable by her way of reading and doing character voices. Awesome job. Very funny!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

great

better than the first book. great new characters and can't wait to read the sequel

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

If you are on the fence...

Any additional comments?

just get this book. Abby Normal's journal entries are worth the credit alone. they are quite possibly the funniest things ever written