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You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make it Scuba Dive)
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Bernard Clark
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
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You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make it Scuba Dive)
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Publisher's summary
Down the street, a dog is running around a lamp post on a leash. I feel like I’m on a similar trajectory. Sam Bennett is the last of a dying breed, a former Mad Man, now made redundant after 30 years at the same advertising agency. Left with his awards and a case of Bulgarian whiskey (which he still can’t remember buying), Sam retreats to his home, awaits the summer arrival of his daughter and crazy son-in-law, Muller, is plagued by panic attacks and has an incident involving a pressed ham on a liquor store window with a young security guard named Max. With the ground feeling like a trampoline, Sam sets out to do the one thing Mary, his wife, wants more than anything else - a grandchild. It won’t be easy with Muller, his suicidal son-in-law, jumping off roofs and drinking green paint, but life is full of surprises. Meanwhile, Muller wants Max’s mom, and Max’s dad, Otis, has the craziest online show in Chicago called, Otis Cries for You. As Sam’s doctor Krupsky tells him, "Life’s a crapshoot. At least you filled the cheap seats." Sam is about to learn the greatest lessons in life, even if it means stealing his neighbor’s pot, and getting more people stoned than he ever imagined possible.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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Where I'm Calling From
- Selected Stories
- By: Raymond Carver
- Narrated by: Norman Dietz
- Length: 16 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 54
By the time of his early death in 1988, Raymond Carver had established himself as one of the great practitioners of the American short story. Where I'm Calling From, his last collection, encompasses classic stories from Cathedral, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, and earlier Carver volumes, along with seven new works previously unpublished in book form.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Love Carver, But Dietz Ruins It With Reading
- By Noirbat on 05-10-18
By: Raymond Carver
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Hot Water Music
- By: Charles Bukowski
- Narrated by: Christian Baskous
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 146
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 131
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 131
Hot Water Music is a collection of short stories by Charles Bukowski, published in 1983. The collection deals largely with: drinking, women, gambling, and writing. It is an important collection that establishes Bukowski's minimalist style and his thematic oeuvre.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If you like Bukowski...
- By Amazon Customer on 09-08-19
By: Charles Bukowski
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 496
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 454
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Story4 out of 5 stars 453
In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Isle of Palms
- A Lowcountry Tale, Book 3
- By: Dorothea Benton Frank
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 18 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 962
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 879
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 873
Dorothea Benton Frank is a treasure of American letters with numerous New York Times best-sellers to her credit and a portfolio full of critical acclaim. “Mixing high drama and high jinks” ( Booklist), her third Lowcountry novel follows the fortunes of the dysfunctional Abbot family. Looking to set her life aright, Anna Lutz Abbot returns to her South Carolina lowcountry hometown. And as she attempts to right past wrongs, Anna receives help and support from a quirky cast of lovable locals sure to endear themselves to listeners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A feel good story
- By Sheryl on 02-04-13
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 202
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 98
In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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4 out of 5 stars
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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The Rabbit Factory
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 184
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 150
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Story4 out of 5 stars 151
Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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This Raging Light
- By: Estelle Laure
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Lucille seems to have nothing going for her. With the bills piling in, the house falling apart around her, and her sister's growing distress, it is precisely the worst possible moment for Lucille to fall recklessly in love with her best friend's twin brother, Digby, who is practically engaged.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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Orange Mint and Honey
- By: Carleen Brice
- Narrated by: Cherise Booth
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
After grad school, Shay Dixon feels like she's had enough for awhile. Inspired by her spiritual adviser - a soul-soothing blues player named Nina Simon - Shay calls her estranged mother Nona for the first time in years, and shocks herself by asking if it would be okay to come home for a while.
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4 out of 5 stars
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One For The Money
- By DiaRose on 09-25-17
By: Carleen Brice
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Girl in the Dark
- A Novel
- By: Marion Pauw
- Narrated by: Emily Sutton-Smith, Scott Merriman
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 73
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4 out of 5 stars 67
A single mother and lawyer, Iris has a colorful caseload, a young son with behavior issues, and a judgmental mother. She also has a brother - shocking news she uncovers by accident. Why did her mother lie to her for her entire life? Why did she hide the existence of Ray Boelens from her?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Boring
- By Stacey on 01-19-17
By: Marion Pauw
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Tryin' To Sleep In the Bed You Made
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Fran L. Washington
- Length: 16 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 670
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 580
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 580
Gayle was the beauty who believed that a man could make her life complete. Patricia was the intellectual who thought that rising to the top of her career would make her happy. And then there is Marcus Carter, who has been linked to both Gayle and Pat since the tragedy that occurred when they were all children. Can either one save him from himself? Can friends survive a love that comes between them? Each of them gets what she wants, but no one counts on the price they have to pay.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Better with each chapter!
- By Cyn B. on 02-09-16
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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Post Office
- A Novel
- By: Charles Bukowski
- Narrated by: Christian Baskous
- Length: 4 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,535
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,352
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,347
"It began as a mistake." By middle age, Henry Chinaski has lost more than 12 years of his life to the U.S. Postal Service. In a world where his three true, bitter pleasures are women, booze, and racetrack betting, he somehow drags his hangover out of bed every dawn to lug waterlogged mailbags up mud-soaked mountains, outsmart vicious guard dogs, and pray to survive the day-to-day trials of sadistic bosses and certifiable coworkers.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not his best, but still Bukowski
- By ibillinsly@gmail on 02-05-18
By: Charles Bukowski
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Hissy Fit
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Isabel Keating
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 555
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 395
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 394
Keeley Murdock's wedding to A.J. Jernigan should have been the social event of the season. But when she catches her fiance doing the deed with her maid of honor at the country club rehearsal dinner, all bets are off. And so is the wedding. Keeley pitches the hissy fit of the century, earning herself instant notoriety in the small town of Madison, Georgia.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Good story, but a Southern narrator is better
- By Taunya on 05-20-05
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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Second House from the Corner
- By: Sadeqa Johnson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 485
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 438
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 438
Felicia Lyons, a stressed-out stay-at-home mom, struggles to sprint ahead of the demands of motherhood while her husband spends long days at the office. Felicia taps, utters mantras, and breathes her way through most situations, but on some days, like when the children won't stop screaming her name or arguing over toy trucks and pretzel sticks, she wonders what it would be like to get in her car and drive away.
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2 out of 5 stars
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No ending to any of the situations that opened.
- By Tina on 03-12-16
By: Sadeqa Johnson
What listeners say about You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make it Scuba Dive)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- CM
- 06-06-23
FUN READ!
Stumbled upon this book, and was so glad that I did! Quite a hoot. Love the characters. Love the narration. Kind of out there, but in a very, very good way!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Llinda
- 10-04-23
Fun
I loved this book. Narration was good, story silly and fun. Well worth a listen.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kyle c.
- 03-29-23
Good story
Well read. Good all around story. I like stories where the characters express themselves as who they are.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Karen
- 04-11-23
Enjoyable read.
It deals with serious problems with dry humor. I like the way it was written.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 09-30-22
Ridiculous
This was a bit of a nonsense story, and that’s why it was so good. Sometimes a break from reality is needed. This filled the bill. I hope Mr. Cormack writes another.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- in the dark
- 05-05-23
A pleasant surprise
This author is new to me, but I'm glad I clicked on it. Several times I laughed aloud, not a common thing for me.
It's about life, healing, friendship and love. Refreshing in this era of gloom and doom.
Thank you, Mr. Cormack! Write on!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-18-23
Great surprise read
I randomly choose this book. I found myself laughing out loud! I throughly enjoyed it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Scott Wada MD
- 09-27-23
This audiobook was a pleasant surprise
There were moments I laughed out loud. A really fun listen! Not for everyone, but I suspect seniors will love this book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tasha Phillips
- 10-08-23
Funny
giod story, i enjoyed the flow of the narrator, the scenes with otitis and bisquick are hilarious,
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- LizO
- 07-09-22
Funny Title Gave it Away
The first couple of chapters gave me a background to build the story on, after that, I can't tell you how many times I was rolling on the floor laughing!! Loved it.
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