We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access .
 >   > 
The Mourning Woods Audiobook

The Mourning Woods: The Tome of Bill, Part 3

Regular Price:$17.99
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Publisher's Summary

Three words: Vampires versus Sasquatch.

Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet.

A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have... Lord help us all!

The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it’s not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.

Now Bill must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his arsenal to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.

The Mourning Woods: The Tome of Bill, Part 3 is a foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Scary Dead Things.

©2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2013 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.5 (439 )
5 star
 (277)
4 star
 (121)
3 star
 (32)
2 star
 (7)
1 star
 (2)
Overall
4.5 (403 )
5 star
 (254)
4 star
 (109)
3 star
 (32)
2 star
 (7)
1 star
 (1)
Story
4.6 (400 )
5 star
 (268)
4 star
 (99)
3 star
 (29)
2 star
 (3)
1 star
 (1)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Cliff madison, MS, United States 08-16-13
    Cliff madison, MS, United States 08-16-13 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1090
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    264
    209
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    123
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The title says it all."
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes. it was funny and I enjoyed it. The humor is good and I like the way the series pokes fun at all the tropes that have taken over all the other vampire novels.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The snarky humor. I actually did a spit take in the gym when listening to the scene where Bill meets the chieftan of the feet.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf?

    Definitely.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    It definitely made me laugh out loud in several section and I don't do that very often.


    Any additional comments?

    If you are a fan of the romantic vampire stories which now dominate the genre then stay away from this one. This is primarily for guys. The humor is low-brow bathroom/gamer humor. The book is name mourning woods for goodness sake! If you want angst ridden vampires falling in love with a plucky heroine against their better judgement, or sparkly emo-vampires this isn't for you. Then again, if you have already read the first two books you already know what the series is about. If you like the others you will like this one if you didn't don't bother.I would say that by then end some of the jokes were getting a bit repetitious which is why I gave the story 4 stars instead of 5. Also, there are some technical issues with the recording. The voice will sound very close one minute and far away the next. Also, in several sections a paragraph was repeated twice. Hence the lower value for performance.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dave Upper Tantallon, NS, Canada 06-08-13
    Dave Upper Tantallon, NS, Canada 06-08-13 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
    98
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    66
    55
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    2
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Road Trip to the Great White North"

    Free Will Bill and company head north to my native land (Canada) as the vampire nation's last chance to avoid a war with big foot. Doctor Death the Diplomat's task is further complicated by the French vampire, Francious, the vampire ruling Canada. Control the maple and control Canada. "Tom" Hortons and "eh" punctuation hilarity ensue. Bill continues his inventive manipulation of his 4-letter vocabulary while Sally proves whose the "Alpha" in their relationship.

    This series has become a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. The more I enjoy it, the more I fear my PC quotient is failing. For some reason I find this addictive series 100 proof entertainment; maybe it's because its "juvenile" humour makes me feel young again. The Tomes of Bill is a paranormal parody poking pun at packing, prods, paramores, politics, and peaceniks. Blobs, Bullwinkle, Draculas, environmentalists, french, human friends, nerds, ninjas, Scooby-doo, tree-huggers, vampires, yeti, witches, zombies, no beings are sacred.

    The ending cries out for another Doctor Death adventure. This was the best performance yet by narrator Christopher John Fetherolf . He really nailed the "outrrrageous" french accent a la Monty Python. Christopher John Fetherolf has become Free Will Bill's voice and I really hope he continues as the narrator.

    Strap on your little boy shorts and enjoy.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    L. Ball 02-22-17
    L. Ball 02-22-17 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    27
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    110
    100
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Best in series yet"

    I have to say I enjoyed this more than the second book. Enjoying the series, the humor, action, drama, gore, and even the love stories going on.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jannett Hicks 02-17-17 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    30
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "cursing "

    If not for the Lords name in vain I would love it and give 5 stars

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kevin 01-04-17
    Kevin 01-04-17 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    42
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    321
    35
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Too much misogyny and too many morons"

    Maybe I am just too sensitive to misogyny and morons these days. The book was never going to be deep but insulting is an entirely different level.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    CHARLIE MURPHY 06-03-16 Member Since 2013
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    6
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "awesome"

    recommend the entire series!
    waiting for the newest one, can't wait to see how the story goes







    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    CF 04-01-16
    CF 04-01-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    109
    11
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "good"

    good book, plot is moving along at a nice pace. how for more in the series

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eli Stone 07-10-15
    Eli Stone 07-10-15 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    11
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    19
    12
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "HOLY SHIT"

    I have to admit, this isn't my favorite series-a lot of the jokes are too immature for my taste-but I decided to stick it out for one more book, and I'm glad I did. Yes, the immature jokes are still there, but this book kicked the plot into overdrive. Especially that ending! Okay, Bill-I'll finish your tome.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Andrew 03-26-15
    Andrew 03-26-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    6
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A Lot of fun, but not great literature"

    I like the Tome of Bill series, and this one delivered at the same level as the previous books.
    is it ever going to be considered a classic?, made into a big budget Hollywood blockbuster? or make the list of books to read before you die? ...emphatically no.
    it is however a lot of fun and makes for an entertaining read.
    My only real gripe about it is the author's brutal and unnessessary use of the word "thus".

    The narration is good and keeps faithfully to the characters. ..you can almost see Sally's eye rolls.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tara Bryner Noury 02-08-15
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    30
    15
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "So funny! Even the title is hilarious!!!"
    What made the experience of listening to The Mourning Woods the most enjoyable?

    Gualtieri is so talented! He creates the funniest situations for Bill and his friends get into. I've had the pleasure of both reading and listening to this series, and listening was, for me, much more fun! Christopher John Fetherolf is the perfect narrator. He can pull off all the sarcastic comments and dry sense of humor without missing a beat. This author and narrator make a great team!


    What did you like best about this story?

    Gualtieri's creativity! He always has new types of characters that you can get into. And he can find the humor in everyting!


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Vampire versus Sasquatch


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Since this is mostly comedy, there isn't much that would tug at your heart strings...but the fact that all of Bill's friends/roommates volunteered to go with him to the meeting in the woods to support him, even though they knew they could have been killed.


    Any additional comments?

    This series is a MUST! Especially if you love funny and different. These books are great both reading and listening.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank you.

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.