Gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - The Tome of Bill is the tale of an unlikely hero trying to survive in a world of undead horrors....
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one....
Arthur Curie never expected to wind up in Hell. At least, not because he found an ancient sword in a pawnshop....
Henry and Jason led normal lives in Seattle before they were abducted to another world. Their kidnapper, the vain, self-styled god Dolos, refuses to send them back....
Evolution is about to be kicked in the teeth by some very large feet....
Powers are determined by geographic birth locations, and only the rich and powerful are permitted access to prized sites. SC is the first person born in space.
The punishment for....
Rowan Sinclair has trained for a life in the shadows. As a member of the Guild, she's vowed to mercilessly hunt werewolves or die trying....
Chris Gordon is a rookie with the NYPD - one with a secret. In his spare time Chris is an exorcist without equal, with a gift from God....
Steve is hell's super, its handyman. Being Mr. Fixit to the underworld keeps him and his assistant, Orson Welles (yes, that Orson Welles), pretty busy, since things go on the blink....
The Black Knight Chronicles: lots of vampires. No sparkles. Serious snark....
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer....
Vincent Corinthos has two things going for him: he's a top operative of a secret agency tasked with handling paranormal threats, and he's half-god....
There are things in this world that men and women aren't meant to understand. We aren't supposed to know these things exist, much less how to fight them....
Imprisoned and subjected to brutal genetic experiments, space marine Adam has been changed into a perfect predator. A super soldier that is part man, part tiger, and all killing machine....
Nate Temple's all-consuming quest to avenge his parents is temporarily put on hold when shape-shifting dragons invade St. Louis....
I'm the guy you come to when your spouse gets bitten by a werewolf, or your honey is kidnapped by a demon. I'm the guy who knows how to save you from an evil curse or angry vampire....
Fans of the rollicking redneck monster hunter will find plenty of value in this massive collection of monsters, strippers, beer, and bullets!...
I can't say what terrified me more, the cold anger in Grandpa's eyes or the crazy things in his locked study. A talking trunk. Squirming coats. A bookshelf whose titles shifted before my eyes....
Three words: Vampires versus Sasquatch.
Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet.
A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have... Lord help us all!
The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it’s not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.
Now Bill must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his arsenal to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.
The Mourning Woods: The Tome of Bill, Part 3 is a foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Scary Dead Things.
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes. it was funny and I enjoyed it. The humor is good and I like the way the series pokes fun at all the tropes that have taken over all the other vampire novels.
What did you like best about this story?
The snarky humor. I actually did a spit take in the gym when listening to the scene where Bill meets the chieftan of the feet.
Would you listen to another book narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf?
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
It definitely made me laugh out loud in several section and I don't do that very often.
Any additional comments?
If you are a fan of the romantic vampire stories which now dominate the genre then stay away from this one. This is primarily for guys. The humor is low-brow bathroom/gamer humor. The book is name mourning woods for goodness sake! If you want angst ridden vampires falling in love with a plucky heroine against their better judgement, or sparkly emo-vampires this isn't for you. Then again, if you have already read the first two books you already know what the series is about. If you like the others you will like this one if you didn't don't bother.I would say that by then end some of the jokes were getting a bit repetitious which is why I gave the story 4 stars instead of 5. Also, there are some technical issues with the recording. The voice will sound very close one minute and far away the next. Also, in several sections a paragraph was repeated twice. Hence the lower value for performance.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful
Free Will Bill and company head north to my native land (Canada) as the vampire nation's last chance to avoid a war with big foot. Doctor Death the Diplomat's task is further complicated by the French vampire, Francious, the vampire ruling Canada. Control the maple and control Canada. "Tom" Hortons and "eh" punctuation hilarity ensue. Bill continues his inventive manipulation of his 4-letter vocabulary while Sally proves whose the "Alpha" in their relationship.
This series has become a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. The more I enjoy it, the more I fear my PC quotient is failing. For some reason I find this addictive series 100 proof entertainment; maybe it's because its "juvenile" humour makes me feel young again. The Tomes of Bill is a paranormal parody poking pun at packing, prods, paramores, politics, and peaceniks. Blobs, Bullwinkle, Draculas, environmentalists, french, human friends, nerds, ninjas, Scooby-doo, tree-huggers, vampires, yeti, witches, zombies, no beings are sacred.
The ending cries out for another Doctor Death adventure. This was the best performance yet by narrator Christopher John Fetherolf . He really nailed the "outrrrageous" french accent a la Monty Python. Christopher John Fetherolf has become Free Will Bill's voice and I really hope he continues as the narrator.
Strap on your little boy shorts and enjoy.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
I have to say I enjoyed this more than the second book. Enjoying the series, the humor, action, drama, gore, and even the love stories going on.
If not for the Lords name in vain I would love it and give 5 stars
Maybe I am just too sensitive to misogyny and morons these days. The book was never going to be deep but insulting is an entirely different level.
recommend the entire series!
waiting for the newest one, can't wait to see how the story goes
good book, plot is moving along at a nice pace. how for more in the series
I have to admit, this isn't my favorite series-a lot of the jokes are too immature for my taste-but I decided to stick it out for one more book, and I'm glad I did. Yes, the immature jokes are still there, but this book kicked the plot into overdrive. Especially that ending! Okay, Bill-I'll finish your tome.
I like the Tome of Bill series, and this one delivered at the same level as the previous books.
is it ever going to be considered a classic?, made into a big budget Hollywood blockbuster? or make the list of books to read before you die? ...emphatically no.
it is however a lot of fun and makes for an entertaining read.
My only real gripe about it is the author's brutal and unnessessary use of the word "thus".
The narration is good and keeps faithfully to the characters. ..you can almost see Sally's eye rolls.
What made the experience of listening to The Mourning Woods the most enjoyable?
Gualtieri is so talented! He creates the funniest situations for Bill and his friends get into. I've had the pleasure of both reading and listening to this series, and listening was, for me, much more fun! Christopher John Fetherolf is the perfect narrator. He can pull off all the sarcastic comments and dry sense of humor without missing a beat. This author and narrator make a great team!
What did you like best about this story?
Gualtieri's creativity! He always has new types of characters that you can get into. And he can find the humor in everyting!
Which scene was your favorite?
Vampire versus Sasquatch
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Since this is mostly comedy, there isn't much that would tug at your heart strings...but the fact that all of Bill's friends/roommates volunteered to go with him to the meeting in the woods to support him, even though they knew they could have been killed.
Any additional comments?
This series is a MUST! Especially if you love funny and different. These books are great both reading and listening.