• The Contortionist's Handbook

  • A Novel
  • By: Craig Clevenger
  • Narrated by: Ray Porter
  • Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (506 ratings)

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The Contortionist's Handbook  By  cover art

The Contortionist's Handbook

By: Craig Clevenger
Narrated by: Ray Porter
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Publisher's summary

John Dolan Vincent was born with an extra ring finger on one hand. He was an abnormally gifted child with a proclivity for mathematics beyond his years, but he lacked social skills. Childhood ridicule and a difficult family life led him to use his talents in adulthood for criminal acts of forgery. When he starts getting untreatable migraines, his self-medication results in overdosing which sends him repeatedly to the emergency room. There, he risks being institutionalized as suicidal, so he draws upon his forgery skills to reinvent a new identity for himself each time. Identity theft, drugs, and crime drag his life into a downward spiral. His clients in the L.A. underworld lose patience, the hospital evaluator might not be fooled by his story, and the only person in as much danger as himself is the woman who knows his real name.
©2009 Craig Clevenger (P)2009 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

Clevenger has produced an utterly persuasive and compelling novel, combining the zest and enthusiasm of a new voice with the craft and the guile of a veteran. The movie is in production with Das Films for release in 2011.
"Clevenger cleverly creates a modern-day Mr. Ripley." - ( Booklist)
"[A] remarkable debut." ( Time Out New York)

What listeners say about The Contortionist's Handbook

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

I am Jack's utter lack of imagination

I enjoy Palahniuk's work so I should be the target audience for this book. The author has cribbed CP's style but there isn't much else going on here. If you are in the mood to be lectured by another hipster, bad boy savant with substance abuse problems for a few hours, have at it. The book is dull and aimless but the real crime is the pedantic tone which Ray Porter takes every opportunity to underscore with a snide, heavy handed reading. The bulk of the tale is given over to detailed descriptions of how to change your identity; the book might have been salvaged if the protagonist had some original or clever tricks to teach us. If you are looking for something in this vein try CP's Salvation - it is underrated.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Excellent narration!

The book was good, but the narration was excellent! A fantastic performance by Ray Porter.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent but short

There are book you finish reading and say "that was really good" and there are books you finish and say "that was really good...I have to tell people." This book is the latter.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Read like a true story, I believed every word

Ray Porter did a killer job narrating this one. Great story!! Going to see what else this author has written.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Love it!!

One of my favorite books! I’ve read/ listened to it twice now. Will probably read again!!

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Did a Horny Teenager Write This?

I see so many people gushing online and seeming to be endlessly waiting for new books from the Clive, but I'm on chapter 19 and the only things are in this book so far are some fun detailed "Catch Me if you Can" type explanation of forgery, some tropes about disfigurement making them special in some way, and a rebellious youth hating the world and his parents, That kinda thing.


My real problem with this book is these first 19 chapters have been so repetitive and horny even I'm laughing out loud listening to Ray try to read these out without laughing. It goes back and forth between headaches he has, finding some girl to bone, creating a new identity (which gets glossed over as he already had these ready apparently), having a headache, ODing trying to solve this headache, hospital, and back around again. The "sex" scenes in this are just hilariously "it feels like a bag of sand" written. Oh and of course all these women are super horny for his disfigurement.

I'll try to make it through to see if but damn and update this. But I warned you.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

6 Fingers of Brilliance & A Handful of Pills

Stop reading my review and read this book. (or listen b/c the narrator is brilliant too)

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Came highly recommended and did not disappoint

I've been reading a lot of chuck Palahniuk and Brett Easton Ellis over the past year, I know sometimes we just have those years. If you're looking for another book in the category of bitingly sarcastic morally ambiguous narrator tackles an uncaring cold world, then this book will be dead on for you. In fact, this has to be up there for the best book I've ever read in that category.

It's really then a question of what you're looking for. Slight spoilers, but when half of your book is a character taking, then reacting internally to a psychological evaluation, you're going to weed out a large portion of readers. But if you think that sounds interesting, then you won't see it better executed anywhere.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

As good as In Filth & Dermaphoria

Easier to follow than his others works though all stunning and colloquial, (especially short story Sunder in super-cheap In Filth It Shall Be Found). Still unique, starting with a list of detailed OD the MC faced despite the love for his girl/understudy, fittingly called Molly. He’s most worried about being shrunk in a madhouse, so in part avoids that through meticulously identity fraud. He studies people like a savant, especially psychiatrists by their clothes and idiosyncrasies. His own body language is carefully crafted. No one does their con man research like Craig Clevenger.

As a kid he had a taste of this, deemed dumb despite his genius because of his misbehavior. Coupled with his dishonest and neglectful suburban-trash upbringing and medical tests without merit, the man is justified. Any small infraction snowballs into some despicable punishment. Police strip searching him after he spits on them as a shoplifting 12y/o. He’s in jail before 17, often in fights over people picking on his deformed hand. His life is a series of Curb episodes so much so he comes off too perfect a victim and therefore unreliable. That adds to the intrigue though. His dad is abusive, even throwing his mom’s death on him at a juvie visit, although she died to to breast cancer.

Nobody believes he has random, intense migraines for some reason. This gets him into Percocet and coke, which still his rush hour thoughts. The guy falls in love with a violent stripper and he confronts the slow juvie kid he steals the identity of. Nice unexpected twists/conflict towards the end.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wow

A perfect account of the state of mental health in our nation. Great book highly recommend

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