-
Kumquat
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Kumquat
Buy for $15.47
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
The Sinister Mr. Corpse
- A Zombie Comedy
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 16
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16
This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Completely different take on the zombie story
- By Anonymous User on 04-05-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Cyclops Road
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 192
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 178
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 178
Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
AMAZING!!!!
- By Natalie @ ABookLoversLife on 04-11-17
By: Jeff Strand
-
Freaky Briefs
- 75 Short Absurdities
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 10
From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Adore Jeff Strand, But...
- By jeliarra on 02-05-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Candy Coated Madness
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 15
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 13
A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
So good!
- By kathy pappas on 04-21-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Benjamin's Parasite
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Jeff Strand is warped
- By BKS on 05-04-22
By: Jeff Strand
-
Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 1
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 164
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 142
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 142
When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Tried to get through it.
- By Samantha on 05-23-21
By: Jeff Strand
-
The Sinister Mr. Corpse
- A Zombie Comedy
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 16
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16
This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Completely different take on the zombie story
- By Anonymous User on 04-05-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Cyclops Road
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 192
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 178
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 178
Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
AMAZING!!!!
- By Natalie @ ABookLoversLife on 04-11-17
By: Jeff Strand
-
Freaky Briefs
- 75 Short Absurdities
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 10
From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Adore Jeff Strand, But...
- By jeliarra on 02-05-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Candy Coated Madness
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 15
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 13
A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
So good!
- By kathy pappas on 04-21-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Benjamin's Parasite
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Jeff Strand is warped
- By BKS on 05-04-22
By: Jeff Strand
-
Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 1
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 164
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 142
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 142
When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Tried to get through it.
- By Samantha on 05-23-21
By: Jeff Strand
-
Allison
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Sara Morsey
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 36
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
Allison can break your bones with her mind, and she can't control her power. Now 45 years old, she's spent her life trying to stay away from other people. But a random encounter with a couple on the street leaves her believing that she may have done something horrible. Something unforgivable. Killer-for-hire Daxton and his girlfriend Maggie know the truth. Instead of easing Allison's anguish, they come up with a cruel plan to take advantage of it. But with Allison's abilities exposed, there may be a grisly body count very soon....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Finished It In Two Sittings
- By Brian on 05-18-20
By: Jeff Strand
-
Bring Her Back
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Henry Schrader
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 30
Frank knows that he's creepy. There's nothing he can do about it. His creepiness - along with the fact that his father once killed 11 people in an office shooting - has kept him from ever having a girlfriend. When he finally works up the nerve to ask Abigail out on a date, after buying flowers from her every day for the past three months, he's sure she'll say no. But she accepts. These two kindhearted but weird souls have found each other, and Frank thinks his life is about to change for the better. But this is not a love story. This is a tale of revenge and madness.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Fun like always!!
- By Timothy on 02-24-21
By: Jeff Strand
-
Demonic
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 55
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 47
Corey is falling in love with his co-worker Quinn. This is a problem. Not only because Quinn is married, but because her husband is a serial killer known as the Toledo Trasher, who has been forcing her to participate in his savage crimes.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Demonic
- By Rachel on 06-16-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
Pressure
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 232
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 218
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 220
Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
- By JenniferLOVESThrillers on 09-01-16
By: Jeff Strand
-
Fangboy
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Janine Haynes
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 21
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 17
Nathan Pepper seemed like an ordinary baby -- except for a mouth full of scary sharp teeth. Because his life began with his grandmother strongly recommending that he be destroyed as soon as possible, it's safe to say that Nathan was not destined for a typical existence.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Come Meet the Frightening Fangboy
- By Spooky Mike on 08-21-20
By: Jeff Strand
-
Blister
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 329
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 291
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 291
They call her Blister. She's a hideously disfigured 23-year-old woman, living in a shed next to her father's house, hidden away from the world. Jason Tray is a successful cartoonist, banished to his agent's lakeside cabin for a few days of mandatory rest and relaxation. One night, while hanging out with a couple of the locals at a dive bar, he takes them up on their offer to go "see Blister," having no idea what they're talking about.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Character Driven, Warm and Fuzzy, Funny, Scary
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-10-16
By: Jeff Strand
-
Ferocious
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 193
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 180
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 180
Rusty Moss has raised his niece Mia since she was a baby. Now that she's almost 18, he's worried that the life he's given her - living off the grid in a cabin deep in the woods - is holding her back from her full potential. But that angst gets pushed aside when the undead forest animals arrive. At first it's just a squirrel - shockingly violent and almost impossible to kill. Followed by a grizzly bear, also aggressive and resilient, even when point-blank shotgun blasts to the face are involved.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Fast, furry and hilarious!!!
- By Natalie @ ABookLoversLife on 07-10-19
By: Jeff Strand
-
The Odds
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 100
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 87
After a disastrous evening playing slot machines, Ethan Caustin wonders how he's going to explain his massive loss to his wife and kids. As he tries to find his way out of the casino, sick to his stomach and filled with self-loathing, he's approached by a stranger who offers a solution to his problem. It's a simple game. A 99 percent chance for him to win $10,000. In the remote chance that he loses...well, he'll be strapped into a device that shatters his left arm.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Don't bet on it!
- By PattyH on 02-09-21
By: Jeff Strand
-
Dead Clown Barbecue
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
Dead Clown Barbecue is a collection of 29 gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand-new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Gob Stopping
- By BKS on 07-14-18
By: Jeff Strand
-
Wolf Hunt 3
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 120
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 101
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
Though still mourning his recent loss, George Orton is surprisingly content. He's living in a secure compound where teenaged werewolf Ally is being trained to control her animalistic tendencies, and mad science experiment Eugene has regained most of his sanity. George knows they can't stay there forever, but for now, things are pretty good. Then he receives some shocking news: People at the compound have brought his partner and best friend Lou back to life. Not as a flesh-eating zombie; he's the old Lou, as much of a wiseass as before.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Another Great Volume in the Series
- By Spooky Mike on 05-11-20
By: Jeff Strand
-
My Pretties
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Aida Reluzco
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 156
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 138
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 137
A serial kidnapper is preying upon women. He abducts them and then locks them in one of the cages dangling from the ceiling in a soundproofed basement. There, he sits quietly and just watches them, returning night after night, hoping he'll be in the room at the moment his beautiful captives finally starve to death.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Twisted, engaging, and just what I needed!
- By jstep on 12-02-19
By: Jeff Strand
-
Sick House
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 284
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 256
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 254
It doesn't seem like the perfect house, but screw it, it's good enough to rent for a year. Unfortunately for Boyd, Adeline, and their two young daughters, it's immediately clear they chose the wrong place. The nightmare begins with violent coughs and headaches. Food starts to rot almost as soon as they take it inside. A pet tarantula goes missing. Some family members begin to exhibit creepy behavior. Then the ghosts arrive, and all hell breaks loose....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
This House is Sick
- By Spooky Mike on 07-02-18
By: Jeff Strand
Publisher's summary
Thirty-five-year-old introvert Todd Bryan hasn't really done much with his life, and he's okay with that. Until, at a painfully bad film festival, he meets Amy Husk. She's attractive. She's funny. She's quirky. And...she has an inoperable brain aneurysm and not much time to live. She may not even make it to the long-awaited final episode of Exit Red, the greatest show ever.
She convinces him that they should do something crazy and frivolous. And suddenly Todd, a guy who doesn't do spontaneity, is on an insane road trip from Florida to Rhode Island with a woman he barely knows, just to visit a really cool hot dog place.
Many things will go wrong. But, hey, many things will go right, too. There's a hook-handed hitchhiker and some property destruction. Maybe some sex. A kumquat will probably be relevant at some point, although not during the sex (if there is any).
A laugh-out-loud comedy, a touching love story, and a cross-country adventure, Kumquat is a story about making the most out of the time you've got.
More from the same
Related to this topic
-
Pretty Much Screwed
- By: Jenna McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 313
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 283
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 284
For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Meh
- By Miss Bishop on 10-31-16
By: Jenna McCarthy
-
Exclusively Yours
- By: Shannon Stacey
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,429
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,162
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,163
When Keri Daniels’ editor finds out she has previous carnal knowledge of reclusive best-selling author Joe Kowalski, she gives Keri a choice: get an interview or get a new job. Joe’s never forgotten the first girl to break his heart, so he’s intrigued to hear Keri’s back in town—and looking for him. Despite his intense need for privacy, he’ll grant Keri an interview if it means a chance to finish what they started in high school.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Just OK
- By GH on 01-07-16
By: Shannon Stacey
-
Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
-
From Ashes to Flames
- By: A M. Hargrove
- Narrated by: Wilhelmina Grace, Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 379
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 354
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 351
Five minutes after walking through the door, I hated the sexy Greydon West. I wondered why he’d ever had kids in the first place. The broody, single father of two didn’t know the meaning of the word fun. The only things my regimented, hot-tempered boss seemed to care about were his ridiculous spreadsheets. But for some reason, his prickly, stiff-mannered disposition made me curious about what was hidden beneath that exterior. Then, one day I stumbled upon the key that unlocked the mystery of Dr. West.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Uuummm no
- By Margaret Acoff on 11-15-19
By: A M. Hargrove
-
The Unsung Hero
- Troubleshooters, Book 1
- By: Suzanne Brockmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Melanie Ewbank
- Length: 15 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 502
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 447
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 449
After a near-fatal head injury, Navy SEAL lieutenant Tom Paoletti catches a glimpse of an international terrorist in his New England hometown. When he calls for help, the Navy dismisses the sighting as injury-induced imaginings. In a last-ditch effort to prevent disaster, Tom creates his own makeshift counterterrorism team, assembling his most loyal officers, two elderly war veterans, a couple of misfit teenagers, and Dr. Kelly Ashton.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
New narration breathes life into this for me
- By Kindle Customer (VH) on 06-21-16
-
32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,082
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 912
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 909
Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
-
Pretty Much Screwed
- By: Jenna McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 313
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 283
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 284
For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Meh
- By Miss Bishop on 10-31-16
By: Jenna McCarthy
-
Exclusively Yours
- By: Shannon Stacey
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,429
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,162
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,163
When Keri Daniels’ editor finds out she has previous carnal knowledge of reclusive best-selling author Joe Kowalski, she gives Keri a choice: get an interview or get a new job. Joe’s never forgotten the first girl to break his heart, so he’s intrigued to hear Keri’s back in town—and looking for him. Despite his intense need for privacy, he’ll grant Keri an interview if it means a chance to finish what they started in high school.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Just OK
- By GH on 01-07-16
By: Shannon Stacey
-
Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
-
From Ashes to Flames
- By: A M. Hargrove
- Narrated by: Wilhelmina Grace, Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 379
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 354
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 351
Five minutes after walking through the door, I hated the sexy Greydon West. I wondered why he’d ever had kids in the first place. The broody, single father of two didn’t know the meaning of the word fun. The only things my regimented, hot-tempered boss seemed to care about were his ridiculous spreadsheets. But for some reason, his prickly, stiff-mannered disposition made me curious about what was hidden beneath that exterior. Then, one day I stumbled upon the key that unlocked the mystery of Dr. West.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Uuummm no
- By Margaret Acoff on 11-15-19
By: A M. Hargrove
-
The Unsung Hero
- Troubleshooters, Book 1
- By: Suzanne Brockmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Melanie Ewbank
- Length: 15 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 502
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 447
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 449
After a near-fatal head injury, Navy SEAL lieutenant Tom Paoletti catches a glimpse of an international terrorist in his New England hometown. When he calls for help, the Navy dismisses the sighting as injury-induced imaginings. In a last-ditch effort to prevent disaster, Tom creates his own makeshift counterterrorism team, assembling his most loyal officers, two elderly war veterans, a couple of misfit teenagers, and Dr. Kelly Ashton.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
New narration breathes life into this for me
- By Kindle Customer (VH) on 06-21-16
-
32 Candles
- A Novel
- By: Ernessa T. Carter
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,082
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 912
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 909
Davie—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, possibly the world, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life— Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
2 High Fives - for Monkey Night
- By Nevada on 10-03-12
-
God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 130
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 121
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
-
An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 336
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 287
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 286
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
-
A Necessary End: A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 54
At nineteen Leah bears a remarkable resemblance to the young woman Adrienne once was. Which is why Adrienne knows the baby Leah is carrying is meant to be hers. But Leah's got ideas of her own: Her baby's going to get a life in California; why shouldn't she? All she wants is to live in Adrienne's house for a year after the baby's born and get a fresh start. It seems like a small price for Adrienne to pay to get their baby. And with Gabe suddenly onboard, what could possibly go wrong?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Long time audible listener.
- By Cherith DuBois on 07-11-15
By: Holly Brown
-
Deja Who
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 51
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 44
Leah Nazir is an Insighter. Reincarnation is her business. But while her clients' pasts are a mess, Leah's is nothing short of tragedy. She's been murdered. A lot. If left to that bitch destiny, it'll happen again. Leah wants to know who's been following her through time - and who's been stalking her in the present.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Love the author, but not the book
- By Rhonda on 11-14-16
-
Chances, Part 1
- Gino's Story
- By: Jackie Collins
- Narrated by: Jackie Collins
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 126
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
He started with nothing, and built an empire. She was born to bad times - and lived through much worse. Orphans and outlaws alike, Gino Santangelo and Carrie Jones were survivors in a harsh, loveless world....a passionate young Italian and an exotic dark beauty whose chance meeting yields a secret that can't be spoken for years to come.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Abridged version doesn't do series justice
- By Nancy J. Hyde on 01-10-09
By: Jackie Collins
-
Sex, Murder, and a Double Latte
- By: Kyra Davis
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,927
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,969
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,983
Thriller scribe Sophie Katz is as hard-boiled as a woman who drinks Grande Caramel Brownie Frappuccionos can be. So Sophie knows it's not paranoia, or post-divorce, living-alone-again jitters, when she becomes convinced that a crazed reader is sneaking into her apartment to reenact scenes from her books. The police, however, can't tell a good plot from an unmarked grave.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Disappointing
- By Autumn on 01-01-06
By: Kyra Davis
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 795
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 794
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
If It Ain’t One Thing
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Karen Chilton
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 129
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 100
Cheryl Robinson, a bright voice in African-American fiction, delivers a fresh tale of love in the modern world. Porter is a handsome Detroit firefighter who just got burned by his cheating girlfriend. Winona is a single mom who is getting by despite an old secret that haunts her. When Porter and Winona meet, they must face their pasts to allow their present romance to grow.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good listen
- By Brad on 06-29-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
-
Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
-
This Is Why They Hate Us
- By: Aaron H. Aceves
- Narrated by: Alejandro Ruiz
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 118
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 104
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 104
Enrique “Quique” Luna has one goal this summer—get over his crush on Saleem Kanazi by pursuing his other romantic prospects. Never mind that he’s only out to his best friend, Fabiola. Never mind that he has absolutely zero game. And definitely forget the fact that good and kind and, not to mention, beautiful Saleem is leaving LA for the summer to meet a girl his parents are trying to set him up with. Luckily, Quique’s prospects are each intriguing in their own ways.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Great Performance; Strange Obsession with White People
- By Legio Evocati on 02-21-23
By: Aaron H. Aceves
-
Will Grayson, Will Grayson
- By: John Green, David Levithan
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews, Nick Podehl
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 238
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 204
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 202
One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, Will Grayson crosses paths with...Will Grayson. Two teens with the same name, running in two very different circles, suddenly find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, and culminating in epic turns-of-heart and the most fabulous musical ever to grace the high school stage.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Brilliant.
- By Klasandria on 01-24-24
By: John Green, and others
-
Under the Lights
- Boys of Fall Series, Book 1
- By: Shannon Stacey
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 98
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 101
Chase Sanders's life has taken a lot of crazy turns lately. But returning to his hometown to help his old coach keep his high school football team afloat might be the craziest thing to happen to him yet. That is, until he starts falling for the last person he should - Coach's gorgeous daughter.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Okay
- By Melliemel on 08-25-20
By: Shannon Stacey
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
Stranger Things Have Happened
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 12
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11
Harry Houdini. Penn and Teller. David Copperfield. Marcus Millian the Third. Okay, so Marcus isn't a famous magician. He may not even be a great magician. But his great-grandfather, the once-legendary and long-retired Zachary the Stupendous, insists Marcus has true talent. And when Grandpa Zachary boasts that he and Marcus are working on an illusion that will shock, stun, and astonish, Marcus wishes he could make himself disappear.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Unfortunately Absurdist
- By Crystal on 08-08-17
By: Jeff Strand
-
How You Ruined My Life
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 28
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 27
Rod's life doesn't suck. If you ask him, it's pretty awesome. He may not be popular, but he and his best friends play in a band that has a standing gig. Yeah, it's Monday night and they don't get paid, but they can crank the volume as loud as they want. And Rod's girlfriend is hot, smart, and believes in their band - believes in Rod. Aside from a winning lottery ticket, what more could he ask for? Answer: A different cousin. When Rod's scheming, two-faced cousin Blake moves in for the semester, Rod tries to keep calm. Blake seems to have everyone else fooled....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The Audio version of this book is Fantastic.
- By Jennifer j Keller on 06-01-18
By: Jeff Strand
-
Clowns vs. Spiders
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 110
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
I don't usually laugh out loud
- By Amazon Customer on 07-10-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
The Haunted Forest Tour
- By: Jeff Strand, James A. Moore
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,383
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,261
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,266
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
WOW, just WOW. Great book!!!!
- By Jason on 09-07-18
By: Jeff Strand, and others
-
I Have a Bad Feeling about This
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 152
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 129
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 128
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining
- By Olive on 01-22-17
By: Jeff Strand
-
Pressure
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 232
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 218
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 220
Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
- By JenniferLOVESThrillers on 09-01-16
By: Jeff Strand
-
Stranger Things Have Happened
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 12
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11
Harry Houdini. Penn and Teller. David Copperfield. Marcus Millian the Third. Okay, so Marcus isn't a famous magician. He may not even be a great magician. But his great-grandfather, the once-legendary and long-retired Zachary the Stupendous, insists Marcus has true talent. And when Grandpa Zachary boasts that he and Marcus are working on an illusion that will shock, stun, and astonish, Marcus wishes he could make himself disappear.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Unfortunately Absurdist
- By Crystal on 08-08-17
By: Jeff Strand
-
How You Ruined My Life
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 28
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 27
Rod's life doesn't suck. If you ask him, it's pretty awesome. He may not be popular, but he and his best friends play in a band that has a standing gig. Yeah, it's Monday night and they don't get paid, but they can crank the volume as loud as they want. And Rod's girlfriend is hot, smart, and believes in their band - believes in Rod. Aside from a winning lottery ticket, what more could he ask for? Answer: A different cousin. When Rod's scheming, two-faced cousin Blake moves in for the semester, Rod tries to keep calm. Blake seems to have everyone else fooled....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
The Audio version of this book is Fantastic.
- By Jennifer j Keller on 06-01-18
By: Jeff Strand
-
Clowns vs. Spiders
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 110
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
I don't usually laugh out loud
- By Amazon Customer on 07-10-23
By: Jeff Strand
-
The Haunted Forest Tour
- By: Jeff Strand, James A. Moore
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,383
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,261
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,266
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
WOW, just WOW. Great book!!!!
- By Jason on 09-07-18
By: Jeff Strand, and others
-
I Have a Bad Feeling about This
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 152
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 129
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 128
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining
- By Olive on 01-22-17
By: Jeff Strand
-
Pressure
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 232
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 218
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 220
Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
- By JenniferLOVESThrillers on 09-01-16
By: Jeff Strand
What listeners say about Kumquat
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Wendy
- 10-16-20
Uplifting budding romance adventure
I liked the tone and the quirky couple. I could relate to their mild neediness and bizarre senses of humor. This is the first book that I have listened to by this author. Judging from the cover art of the other books, this one is not in the same genre.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall2 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story2 out of 5 stars
- mama-z
- 07-09-19
Really really weirdly different
I usually find this author very funny but I had a hard time liking the story. I was kind of bizarre from the beginning to the end I did ask my money back. I think the only reason to listen to it is because of the narration-he has a great voice
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!