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Bill the Vampire Audiobook

Bill the Vampire

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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (900 )
5 star
 (470)
4 star
 (289)
3 star
 (96)
2 star
 (29)
1 star
 (16)
Overall
4.3 (825 )
5 star
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3 star
 (101)
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 (30)
1 star
 (16)
Story
4.3 (823 )
5 star
 (455)
4 star
 (235)
3 star
 (102)
2 star
 (21)
1 star
 (10)
Performance
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  •  
    Janet Chada Woodbridge, VA United States 10-13-16
    Janet Chada Woodbridge, VA United States 10-13-16 Member Since 2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    22
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    "Bill is a jerk"

    Did not finish but I sincerely hope Bill gets staked by one of those fat chicks he needs to get drunk to feed off of.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jonathan 10-11-16
    Jonathan 10-11-16 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    79
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    "incredibly fun series."

    This is a great series. It is full of laughs, and thrills. I absolutely recommend it. It certainly isn't your typical vampire book. The humor is the best part.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    T. Rathsack Baltimore, MD 10-01-16
    T. Rathsack Baltimore, MD 10-01-16 Member Since 2016

    The Momster, in ALL my glory.

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    31
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hated it. Hated the characters. Hated the dialogue"
    What would have made Bill the Vampire better?

    A less douchey guy who wasn't a misogynistic a-hole. Women who weren't basically fantasy sheroes all but clad in a scrap of leather and some metal. A better antagonist that wasn't so obvious.


    What was most disappointing about Rick Gualtieri’s story?

    Honestly, this entire book was difficult for me to finish. It has taken me months to work my way through it. The main character is more than offensive, he's slimy offensive, oily, sneaky, and just plain gross.

    It just felt like a pi$$ ing contest between all the men. THey all but thumped their chests. If not being giant blood sucking apes, then they were busy reducing all the women to boobs and butts.


    What aspect of Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance would you have changed?

    Nothing. He was fine.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    Not really. Could really have been an interesting take on the whole vampire idea, but Bill is so unlikeable I couldn't get past him.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 09-10-16 Member Since 2016

    bessj26

    HELPFUL VOTES
    8
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    11
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    "I found this book by accident."

    found this book by accident, I honestly don't know why I listened to the sample. as soon as it started I New it was going to be good. great story, plot, characters, and humor. probably a new favorite series.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Texas 07-31-16
    Amazon Customer Texas 07-31-16 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    752
    9
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    "as good as the hype..."

    fun, some laughs, reminder of how irreverent the average 24 year old can be. only a couple mispronounced words dron the narrator, so not enough to detract.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeremy Fournier 07-18-16 Member Since 2015
    ratings
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    45
    1
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    "performance is to fast"

    Performance is fast and narrator sticks to only a few voices. The story is interesting though

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Turner Hendersonville, TN, United States 06-17-16
    Turner Hendersonville, TN, United States 06-17-16 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
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    "Fun and funny read"

    I'm a fairly harsh critic so it's rare that I find a book that I will shirk responsibilities to enjoy. I shirked a little bit for this book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Matthew 05-31-16
    Matthew 05-31-16 Member Since 2011
    ratings
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    136
    3
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    Story
    "Hilarious!"

    Just what the Dr. ordered to bring a laugh and a grin to your day!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 05-17-16
    HELPFUL VOTES
    10
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    26
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    "give it a chance"

    the first few chapters I hated this book. hated all the language thought Bill was annoying. but the more I listened the more I liked it. I am constantly laughing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patrick Lowman 05-11-16 Member Since 2015
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    85
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    ""Bitch!...""

    The book was great! Right amount of swearing, geekiness, and sarcasm. Love the fact that it's like a middle finger to that Twilight crap. Can wait to start book two! By the way, don't do that thing where you contemplate getting this one. I did that for months, coming up with excuses why I shouldn't get it. Just get it! You won't be disappointed.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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