Fashionably Dead in Diapers

By: Robyn Peterman

Narrated by: Jessica Almasy

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....

Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.

Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.

Have sex.

When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.

Have sex again.

When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.

At least cuddle.

Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.

Find a closet, and go to town.

©2015 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

Very funny family!

One of the funniest series I have ever read, hope there are many more books to come and that baby doesn't grow up very quickly.

Such a great book!

I love that we get to see Astrid and Ethan's baby, and what he becomes. Being a parent is not easy, being this baby's parent could be deadly!
I loved that so many past characters were in this book, who doesn't love, Pam, The Kev, Gemma, and Satan?
"Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube" things like that just made me crack up, I have also happily added a few new swear words to my vocabulary.
The beginning of each chapter starts with some very helpful parenting tips if you should ever have a half Vampyre/half Demon baby.
I fell in love with this series from the first book, and I will surely be sad to see them end. I cannot say I will miss the accidental spraying of drinks out my nose.
Great job to Robyn and Jessica for bringing this book to life!
I cannot wait to listen to the rest of the books!

The Vamps & Samuel

This book is awesome and is an amazing books to listen to. I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a great time and love in a title that is funny and a lovely cluster....well you get it! ^_^

The baby, OMG the baby!!! LOL!

Okay, maybe I am a bit twisted, but I adored ALL of these books. I seriously bought 1-9 in a span of about 2 weeks. I could NOT get enough! The absurd things that come out of these characters mouths is not only funny, blasphemous, outlandish, idiotic and something downright horrible, they crack me up in the best way! I told my co-workers about these books and they just couldn't believe it, then I read them the pitch from the audible website and they bent over laughing so hard they begged me to stop talking. These books are AWESOME! If you love book 1 just download all of them.

This review will be repeated 5 more times :- )

Entertaining...

Entertaining story with Astrid struggling with amnesia for approximately 75% of the book. I've liked Ethan from the start of the series, but his patience with Astrid and her memory loss while worrying for his son made me adore him. Samuel is absolutely adorable, extraordinarily gifted, and a 100% awesome. He will keep his parents and family friends on their toes for a very long time. This story is full of humor, drama, and interesting characters! Highly recommend this series!