FLEW THE COOP

Confessions of a Bewildered Empty Nester

By: John E. Miller

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

The kids finally flew the coop. So why does the nest feel so complicated?
Dave and Lisa Morrison spent twenty-three years raising kids, shuttling to soccer practice, negotiating about vegetables, and trying to keep tiny humans alive. Then one Tuesday in August, their daughter drives off to college, and suddenly... silence.
No more doors slamming. No more music leaking from bedrooms. No more arguments about whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher. Just Dave and Lisa, staring at each other like awkward teenagers on a first date, wondering: Now what?
In this laugh-out-loud honest novel about empty nesting, you'll discover:
• Why buying a bag of apples requires a ten-minute existential crisis
• How to rediscover your spouse after decades of united parenting
• The truth about dogs who wait by the window at 3:15 every afternoon
• What happens when you convert your kids' bedrooms (spoiler: it's liberating and terrifying)
• Why eating dinner at 4:30 PM is actually a power move
• How to survive forty-three text messages in one day asking for WiFi passwords and recipes
Dave and Lisa aren't sure how to be empty nesters. They're figuring out grocery shopping for two, attempting to use a treadmill without dying, taking up hobbies their bodies aren't quite ready for, and learning that "missing the kids" and "enjoying the quiet" can somehow coexist.
With the help of Bailey the golden retriever and Murphy the terrier—who are processing their own grief in the most dog-like ways possible—Dave and Lisa discover that the empty nest isn't empty. It's just... different.
Perfect for:
- Parents preparing for or navigating empty nesting
- Anyone who's ever stood in a grocery store staring at milk wondering when life got so complicated
- Readers who want to laugh and cry (sometimes in the same chapter)
- People who love dogs, imperfect marriages, and second chances
- Anyone who needs reassurance that they're not alone in this weird, wonderful, terrifying phase of life
Flew the Coop is a warm hug of a book that reminds us: The kids leave. The love remains. And somewhere between the silence and the cereal-for-dinner nights, we might just rediscover ourselves.

"More than ice cream." That's how much seven-year-old Emma loved her mom. Twenty years later, Emma's in college, and her parents are learning what comes after "happily ever after."