Excuse Me, Sir!

Memoir of a Butch

By: Shaley Howard

Narrated by: Shaley Howard

As a young child, in many ways, Shaley didn’t stand a chance. Growing up as a closeted lesbian in the 1970’s, in a dysfunctional family with an often mentally unstable mother, the only thing on her mind was survival. Turning to alcohol and drugs at an early age, she thought she’d found the perfect escape from the shame of being gay and her mother’s erratic emotional roller-coaster ride. Excuse Me, Sir! Memoir of a Butch, is a story of the outsider. It’s about what it means to be marginalized, the journey of overcoming and enduring the agony of addiction and how in our darkest times, we can still find levity, laughter and hope.

©2023 Shaley Howard (P)2024 Shaley Howard

Critic reviews

2025 Finalist Next Generation Indie Book Award for LGBTQ+ Non-Fiction
2024 Finalist IAN Book Of the Year Awards LGBTQ+ Non-Fiction
2024 Winner IPPY Silver Award for Best Non-Fiction Audio Book

“Shaley Howard’s “Excuse Me, Sir” is an honest & revealing account of the struggles of growing up feeling different while searching for answers in drugs and alcohol. Her struggles, failures, and “a-ha” moments in this book could help save a life and save relationships." -Christine Havrilla, songwriter/singer/musician

"Shaley Howard excels at telling her own story of being closeted and addicted, offering hard truths along with a healthy dose of humor. She reminds us that even in the grip of life’s toughest moments, we can still laugh, and find it in ourselves to come back to the life we deserve to live." -Whitney Otto, Bestselling Author of How to Make an American Quilt

Snap it up and listen now!

Shaley's 'Excuse Me, Sir! Memoir of a Butch' is a poignant exploration of a closeted lesbian's journey in the 1970s, providing a much-needed window into queer culture. Amidst family dysfunction and addiction, and societal prejudice, Shaley's narrative is a powerful testament to resilience. This memoir not only sheds light on the challenges faced by the queer community but also celebrates the strength found in embracing one's authentic self. Thank you!!

Appreciative

I really appreciated Shaley telling her life story. As a lesbian that came out in the 80's this book validated what I went through. The trauma of coming out during the 80's & 90's was grueling. I don't think I'd ever truly accepted how hard it was and how it has affected me as a person. It reminded me how far I've come.

Listening to Shaley's words of building success, having it all fall apart and having to start again and build back to such a loving person also resonated with me.

Her story is well told, beautifully put together- interesting and intriguing - and I'm truly appreciative of her showing herself in an effort to possibly help others, as that is a true statement of strength.

A story about heart wrenching authenticity

Every time someone is brave enough to speak out about their experiences we grow as a collective. This story mirrors the fundamental truth we all come to see, that we are deeply social creatures that are both products of and testament against the forces that shape us.

This is a touching, raw anecdote of growing up queer in the last fifth of the 20th century, of struggling to feel comfortable in our skin and most of all, learning to love and accept ourselves from deep within. Undoubtedly one of the most universal experiences, detailed here in Shaley's charmingly effusive humor and intelligence.

10/10 must read!

Behold the power we wield to change lives.

Full disclosure: I know the author. She's a friend.

But that isn't related to why I'm recommending this book to each one of you... I'm recommending it because it is resonant with a shared human experience. If you have ever questioned your self-worth, if you ever questioned if you were really loved, if you struggle or have struggled with addiction or have ever hustled for worthiness. This book is for you.

Shaley is such a relatable and accessible writer. Thoroughly descriptive. So visual and clear. And such great storytelling. As someone who genuinely cares for Shaley, it was hard to read how much that internal questioning was dependent on others' validation and love. And Shaley isn't alone. That yearning to FEEL love IS transformative. And it's hard not to question whether or not you will be loved with constant and incessant anti-LGBTQ messaging out there... wondering if you aren't loved because you are queer, or masculine of center, or butch, or societally-othered in some way... it can be EXHAUSTING and can really damage and destroy one's sense of grounding and wholeness.

The one-two punch of homophobia along with feeling unaccepted and unloved... those pervasive thoughts are corrosive and as evidenced in Shaley's own journey, destructive.

There were so many points of Shaley's experience that readers will relate to. I love the Peanut Gallery and Samuel L. Jackson inner monologues. I love Chuck Howard and Geri. Some very funny LOL moments...even in the hard.

And the lovely fated introduction of Snapper... that was a beautiful full circle moment. Imparting the "You're going to be okay. You're exactly who you're meant to be and you are loved and seen and valid and worthy" sentiments to a 10-year old butch lesbian... the message that Shaley deserved as a young child but never heard... well, if that doesn't make you tear up...

Excuse Me, Sir - Memoir of a Butch is a reminder that everyone has a "hard." And hopefully, serves to remind us to offer more compassion, grace, kindness, and love to ourselves and especially to others - even and especially when we don't know what others' struggles are.

Great work, my friend.

So open and honest

I love how open and honest and relatable they are and I appreciate getting to experience their journey. I am so glad that they have come out the other side and rebuilt their life