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Dick by Law
- Narrated by: Jeff Justus
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
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My dog once took a bullet that was intended for me. A bullet that ripped through his chest, narrowly missing his heart, and exited through his shoulder blade. This left him unconscious on the floor of my home. Amazingly, this bullet did not kill him. Ten years ago, I adopted Blue after I broke up with my boyfriend one hot, early summer night with the windows open and the neighborhood listening. The next morning I went straight to the pound in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Articles on buying your first dog tell you never to buy a dog on impulse.
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Matthew Cahill is a simple man leading a quiet life... until he is tragically killed in an avalanche at a ski resort. Three months later his corpse is found and sent to the morgue - but then something inexplicable happens. He wakes up. Now he can see evil... as a festering rot that eats people alive from the inside out. And he can see Mr. Dark, the horrific figure who gleefully spreads it like a plague... and whois the only one who can tell Matt whether he is still a man... or the walking dead.For Matt, each day is a journey into a supernatural world he knows nothing about....
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Publisher's Summary
What if you could have someone legally declared a dick? Simon Bellerophon does just that! When pain in the ass Horne Shaw pushes him too far, Simon sues to have him branded a dick...and wins, in the craziest court case ever. But that's just the beginning of this out-there, in-your-face comedy! When an anti-dick movement tries to stamp out all dicks, Horne leads a dick pride movement that takes the world by storm.
But the wildest action explodes in Bermuda, at the First Annual International Dicklympics. Simon tries to regain the upper hand by sabotaging the Running of the Dicks, but he and Horne fall prey to the man who craves the title of World's Biggest Dick: General Mobai. Will Simon and Horne survive the fight of their lives, or will this true dictator cut them down to size? Will Simon have to become a dick himself in order to rise from the ashes? And where does Grip, the prehistoric dog-thing come in? Hold on tight for the laugh out loud ride of your life!
What listeners say about Dick by Law
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nancy A Poljak
- 10-07-20
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,383
Matt Hollis is the current wielder of the holy weapon, DÄMOREN. With it, he stalks and destroys demons. A secret society called the VALDUCANS has taken an interest in Matt's activities. They see him as a reckless rogue - little more than a "cowboy" corrupted by a monster - and a potential threat to their ancient order. As knights and their sentient weapons begin dying, Matt teams up with other hunters of his kind such as LUIZA, a woman with a conquistador blade; ALLAN, an Englishman with an Egyptian khopesh; MALCOLM, a voodoo priest with a sanctified machete; and TAKAIRA, a naginata-swinging Samurai.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Expendables meets Monster Squad
- By Adam on 01-06-15
By: Seth Skorkowsky
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Emergency Shift
- Full Moon Medic, Book 1
- By: Daniel R. Potter
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4 out of 5 stars 55
With magic leaking back into our world, working the nightshift as a paramedic comes with danger. But I handle it. I’ve got a shotgun for the zombies, and my lycanthropic rage hasn’t escaped my apartment. Life is normal-ish. All that changes when I’m called to help a dying fey knight and I make a promise. There’s a little girl with big eyes and a heart-rending sniffle. I can’t say no. Of course she’s not human. She’s their key to opening the long-closed gates and feasting on humanity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome book
- By C.T. on 09-20-21
By: Daniel R. Potter
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Carniepunk
- By: Rachel Caine, Rob Thurman, Kevin Hearne, and others
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 263
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 240
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Story4 out of 5 stars 243
Come one, come all! The Carniepunk Midway promises you every thrill and chill a traveling carnival can provide. But fear not! Urban fantasy's biggest stars are here to guide you through this strange and dangerous world....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Its A Separate 14 Short Stories
- By Hassan on 07-27-13
By: Rachel Caine, and others
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Storm Shift
- The Charming Shifter Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Calinda B
- Narrated by: Rinelle Harkin
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 22
Your power - it’s in the blood. Those were the words her grandfather said to her from wherever the dead reside. Now it’s up to her to find out what that really means. Her grandparents were found dead in the lake. Boating accident? Not likely. Newly elected town manager Chia Petit is determined to find out who murdered her beloved granddad and grandma. Her new position requires her to see to the needs of the people, including the shifters, of Charming, Alaska. When a shifter turns up dead, her determination to find the murderer grows. Then a sexy, insane bounty hunter appears....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Adventure,Romance and fun.
- By cosmitron on 06-08-18
By: Calinda B
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Aether Mage
- Aether Mage, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Lewis Alexander, Rozelyn Rader
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 148
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 134
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 134
Did I always believe in magic? Not until today. Sure, I had seen my mother's ghost, but I'd managed to rationalize that. It wasn't until I was taken to some strange museum in Oregon and inducted into a supernatural agency that I truly believed. Then, something happened to the agency, and I was one of the last mages left in America. Now, I have to learn my peculiar magic all by myself. Well, not entirely by myself. I have a few beautiful women and a disgraced mage genius to help me figure out why my powers are so unique.
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2 out of 5 stars
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dumb
- By Anonymous User on 04-14-22
By: Dante King
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Two-Faced: An Urban Fantasy Adventure
- Legend of the Treesinger, Book 1
- By: James Hunter, eden Hudson
- Narrated by: Holly Adams
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4 out of 5 stars 49
Winona Treesinger is a Bigfoot - and no, she doesn’t just have large feet. She’s literally an eight-foot-tall walking myth, and the last great princess of the People of the Forest. All she and her people want is to dwell in the deep places of the forest, well away from mankind and the destruction they bring to the land and the world. But when Winona hears about a string of grisly murders in the nearby city of Missoula, she knows in her gut it’s the work of an ancient evil, driven away from their lands long ago.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Harry Dresden and the Hendersons style fun!
- By Ray Johnson on 08-04-18
By: James Hunter, and others
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The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,545
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,430
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,430
Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
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The Violet Darger Mystery Thriller Box Set
- By: L.T. Vargus, Tim McBain
- Narrated by: Kate Marcin
- Length: 29 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 240
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 203
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 203
This audiobook includes the first four thrillers in the Violet Darger series: Dead End Girl, Image in a Cracked Mirror, Killing Season, and The Last Victim. A pause-resisting thriller series packed with heart-stopping suspense. Fans of John Sandford, Michael Connelly, Karin Slaughter, and Lisa Gardner should get to know Violet Darger.
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5 out of 5 stars
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29 hours of non-stop action
- By David C Taylor on 02-18-20
By: L.T. Vargus, and others
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Dark and Stormy Knights
- By: Ilona Andrews, Jim Butcher, Shannon K Butcher, and others
- Narrated by: Renee Raudman, Joe Barrett, Marc Vietor, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,202
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 998
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,002
It was a dark and stormy knight, and nine dark defenders embarked upon a most perilous quest. They're the ultimate defenders of humanity, modern day knights who do dark deeds for all the right reasons. In this all-star collection, nine of today's hottest paranormal authors bring us thrilling, all-new stories of supernatural knights that are brimming with magic mystery and mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bought this for Dresden, loved the rest!
- By Moon River on 06-27-12
By: Ilona Andrews, and others
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Paternus: The Complete Trilogy
- By: Dyrk Ashton
- Narrated by: Nik Magill
- Length: 61 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,485
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,367
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,368
Described as American Gods meets The Avengers, Paternus combines myths from around the world in a modern story of action and intrigue that is “urban fantasy on the surface, but so much more at its core!”
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow!!!
- By Jennifer Elkins on 02-08-21
By: Dyrk Ashton
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The Secret Life of Cooper Bennett
- By: Golden Czermak
- Narrated by: Kai Kennicott, Wen Ross
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Cooper Bennett is a high school senior living a hard and abusive life in the sleepy town of Goodman, GA. One night, a monstrous burden is thrust upon him with the potential to unlock the better life he’s always wanted; one filled with love from the girl of his dreams and strengthened childhood friendships. However, the effects of his actions do not go unnoticed. Grayson Manning and his athletic son Liam see things far differently, doing everything in their power to send all Cooper has affected into ruin before he and the dangerous Lance Goddard manage to do the same to them.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Wolf-y...
- By Brandie @AudiobookObsession on 12-20-17
By: Golden Czermak
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Blood and Chocolate
- By: Annette Klause
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 286
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 256
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 257
Vivian Gandalon is a teen-aged werewolf with problems. Her father, the pack leader, was killed in a fire, and so the pack is in disarray. The young male members of the squabbling pack howl for her, but still she feels alienated and alone. To be more than human is a lonely thing. Vivian longs to have friends and fit in at school. She yearns to escape her legacy of violence and forbidden appetites, but the beast within her longs for something elementally deep and rich. She glories in her ability to change from woman to wolf.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Relive teen werewolf romance with weird narration
- By Jade on 01-09-15
By: Annette Klause
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The Shadow Glass
- By: Josh Winning
- Narrated by: Colin Mace
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
Jack Corman is failing at life. Jobless, jaded, and on the “wrong” side of 30, he’s facing the threat of eviction from his London flat while reeling from the sudden death of his father, onetime film director Bob Corman.
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5 out of 5 stars
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80’s Fantasy Movie Homage
- By Shawn Lysik on 04-15-22
By: Josh Winning
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Sydney Rye Mystery Box Set, Books 1-3
- By: Emily Kimelman
- Narrated by: Sonja Field
- Length: 20 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 494
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 442
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 440
My dog once took a bullet that was intended for me. A bullet that ripped through his chest, narrowly missing his heart, and exited through his shoulder blade. This left him unconscious on the floor of my home. Amazingly, this bullet did not kill him. Ten years ago, I adopted Blue after I broke up with my boyfriend one hot, early summer night with the windows open and the neighborhood listening. The next morning I went straight to the pound in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Articles on buying your first dog tell you never to buy a dog on impulse.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Just wasn’t for me
- By Lady Chaps on 07-29-20
By: Emily Kimelman
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The Unlikeable Demon Hunter
- A Snarky Urban Fantasy Romance
- By: Deborah Wilde
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 609
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 545
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Story4 out of 5 stars 543
When Nava Katz half-drunkenly interrupts her twin brother's induction ceremony into a secret supernatural society, she doesn’t expect to accidentally torch his life-long dream and steal his destiny. Horrified she’s now expected to take his place, Nava is faced with the one thing she swore off forever: a purpose. The all-male squad isn’t cool with a woman in their ranks and assigns her to Rohan Mitra: former rock god and their most ruthless hunter. He may be the perfect bad boy fling with no strings attached, but what happens when he won’t let her run - not even from herself?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pass this one!
- By BikeVON on 10-20-17
By: Deborah Wilde
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The Dead Man Volume 1
- By: Lee Goldberg, William Rabkin, James Daniels
- Narrated by: James Daniels, Luke Daniels
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 193
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 171
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Story4 out of 5 stars 171
Matthew Cahill is a simple man leading a quiet life... until he is tragically killed in an avalanche at a ski resort. Three months later his corpse is found and sent to the morgue - but then something inexplicable happens. He wakes up. Now he can see evil... as a festering rot that eats people alive from the inside out. And he can see Mr. Dark, the horrific figure who gleefully spreads it like a plague... and whois the only one who can tell Matt whether he is still a man... or the walking dead.For Matt, each day is a journey into a supernatural world he knows nothing about....
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5 out of 5 stars
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FORCE OF HATE, STRONGER THAN GRAVITY
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-02-17
By: Lee Goldberg, and others
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The Pilo Family Circus
- By: Will Elliott
- Narrated by: Mark Stephens
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 95
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 88
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Story4 out of 5 stars 89
"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining but unremarkable bit of the lmacabre
- By David on 05-31-14
By: Will Elliott