Data, A Love Story

How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match

De: Amy Webb

Narrado por: Amy Webb, Brian Woolf

A lively, thought-provoking memoir about how one woman "gamed" online dating sites like JDate, OKCupid and eHarmony – and met her eventual husband.

After yet another online dating disaster, Amy Webb was about to cancel her JDate membership when an epiphany struck: It wasn’t that her standards were too high, as women are often told, but that she wasn’t evaluating the right data in suitors’ profiles. That night Webb, an award-winning journalist and digital-strategy expert, made a detailed, exhaustive list of what she did and didn’t want in a mate. The result: seventy-two requirements ranging from the expected (smart, funny) to the super-specific (likes selected musicals: Chess, Les Misérables. Not Cats. Must not like Cats!).

Next she turned to her own profile. In order to craft the most compelling online presentation, she needed to assess the competition—so she signed on to JDate again, this time as a man. Using the same gift for data strategy that made her company the top in its field, she found the key words that were digital man magnets, analyzed photos, and studied the timing of women’s messages, then adjusted her (female) profile to make the most of that intel.

Then began the deluge—dozens of men wanted to meet her, men who actually met her requirements. Among them: her future husband, now the father of her child.

Forty million people date online each year. Most don’t find true love. Thanks to Data, a Love Story, their odds just got a whole lot better.

Reseñas de la Crítica

“Amy Webb found her true love after a search that's both charmingly romantic and relentlessly data-driven. Anyone who uses online dating sites must read her funny, fascinating book.”—Gretchen Rubin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project

“Data: A Love Story has me reassessing my sad single years, or at least my approach to them. The book is about pragmatic approaches to partnership, the freedom that comes from asking for what you want, and the clarity that follows honest assessments of oneself and others. (And it's brave, funny, and smart to boot.) —Anna Holmes, founder of Jezebel.com and editor of Hell Hath No Fury: Women's Letters from the End of the Affair.

“A hilarious, fascinating, meticulous, brutally honest, totally engrossing and utterly delightful book. Webb's color-coded and cross-indexed tale of her quest for exactly what she unapologetically wanted will make you look at data differently - and use it much, much better. —Rachel Sklar, co-founder of TheLi.st and Change The Ratio.

“I LOVE THIS BOOK TO DEATH! Amy Webb has literally written the book on online dating. This is online dating for geeks - for women - for men - for anyone who would like to meet their soulmate or just a playmate, and despairs of ever doing so.”—Cindy Gallop, founder of ifwerantheworld.com

“Data, A Love Story is blunt, witty, charming, informative, smart, and true. It’s Mr. Spock meets Mary Tyler Moore, as logical Amy turns her life into an algorithm and finds the formula for love. Is this the future of romance? Buy this book and find out.” —Jeff Jarvis, author of Public Parts: How Sharing in the Digital Age Improves the Way We Work and Live and What Would Google Do?

“funny, brutally honest, and inspirational even to the most hopeless dater.”—Publishers Weekly

“clever and inventive… will be inspiring and eye-opening for anyone who has ever tunred to one of the many popular online dating sites in search of love.”—Booklist

“Potent stuff”— Library Journal

“Ultimately, [Webb] got her man, ‘a story book wedding’ and the longed-for child. Pleasant, geeky fun.”—Kirkus

“It's an enjoyable read for anyone, but online daters should definitely check it out, as some of her findings are revelatory.”—XOJane.com

Numbers don’t lie!

I am not online dating. However, I am FASCINATED by her methodology and so wish I had had her insight when I was dating 35 years ago! I am a happily married woman of 28 years. Can’t wait for my 22 year old daughter to read this. What little she has shown me of online dating is DISMAL and SAD. Use this to cut through all of the BS.

Brilliant System

If you hate and struggle with online dating, I highly recommend this book. It allows you to apply careful analysis to something most people don't put enough thought into while making it enjoyable. It's also must read for the anxious, slightly neurotic dater but it's a method that can be applied by anyone. It will change the way you approach dating and it should because chances are you are doing it wrong.

Fun, funny, touching!

Just finished this listen, and I fell in love with it! I met my husband online several years before Amy met Brian, and this was so relatable to my experiences! I often summarized my online dating as “you have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet your frog prince!” Wished I’d had her insight prior to going through all of the dates that I endured, but would have come to the same conclusion that “we met when we were supposed to meet.” So my husband is quite the techno-geek, and loves listening to Amy in the podcasts that he is addicted to, and now I can understand why! I do love how Amy put math to work for her! This is a really great listen!

Fun story, but not a how-to

Amy Webb's story, for all of her anal-retentive, control-freaky, color-coded spreadsheets is a pleasure to read. Her story of travel, work, family, and online dating resonates well as a plain fun narrative. The only place it falls short is the title's hint at a how-to. Since it took 8 years to bring the book to its audience, its how-to component is out of date. She acknowledges this in the last pages of the book, that interfaces and options have changed in online dating, so her precise experience isn't what exists currently, making it less relevant. However, her overall method, be clear and honest about what you want in a partner, prioritize, and don't waste time dating people that you know don't meet those needs. So don't read it for the how-to, which few of us would perform to her level of complexity, but for the story of a smart woman, a little heartbreak, a lovingly patient sister, spreadsheets, and finding a loving, compatible partner with whom to share your life. The narration, performed by the author, isn't professional, but isn't poor either. She narrates capably.

I've put together my spreadsheet!

Would you listen to Data, A Love Story again? Why?

I will be listening to this book again. I need to figure out how to hack my dating profile too! Amy had some wonderful advise for how to do this.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Data, A Love Story?

Most of her book was centered on knowing what's important to me. First and foremost, I need to know what I want to get out of dating.

Secondly, I need to know what keywords catch the attention of my target audience. I could care less what works for a different target audience. Once I know my target, then I figure out how they talk.