Cultivating Love

Wisdom for Life

By: Dr. Ken McGill

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Visit my Youtube or Spotify page (“Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life) for an in-depth audio description of each section of the book.

Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life takes a deep dive into the subject of Wisdom, how to grow and remain wise throughout the seasons of your life. It’s also a book about Love and the powerful effect that “cultivated love” can have in your life.

Wisdom for Life is divided into five sections. Here’s a look at what’s in the box:

Section One: Integrated Wisdom – The Ultimate Way to Live!
Section Two: Compromised Wisdom
Section Three: Recalibrated Wisdom
Section Four: Wisdom Skills and the Healthy Adult Mode Behaviors
Section Five: Gold, Silver, Rubies, and Precautions

Section One – Integrated Wisdom: The Ultimate Way to Live
This section explores the benefits of integrated knowledge and how the acquisition and application of wisdom help you become skilled at living. You’ll find a variety of tools and insights drawn from psychology, theology, and neurobiology, all designed to help you lay a strong foundation for the growth strategies that follow in later sections.

Section Two – Compromised Wisdom
Here we look at how your ability to live wisely can be compromised by adverse life experiences. Trauma and difficult circumstances often activate “default” survival mechanisms or maladaptive behaviors: your best attempts to cope with pain and change. This section focuses on “Compromised Wisdom: Learning About M.E.” where “M” stands for My Maladaptive Behaviors and “E” stands for E: Internal Family Systems Parts. You’ll learn about Maladaptive Schemas, Schema Modes, Ego Defenses, and Cognitive Distortions, and how your internal family systems can challenge your effectiveness/growth.

Section Three – Recalibrated Wisdom
This section provides exercises to help you reparent yourself, to nurture, heal, and “grow yourself up” through wise and loving behaviors. You’ll explore tools such as Recalibrated Wisdom: 23 Questions for Learning, Unburdening, and Living a New Life, and Reparenting and Loving Yourself and Others through the Shema, Blessing, and 8 C’s of IFS principles. The emphasis is on cultivating emotional self-awareness, developing attachment and attunement skills, and creating earned secure attachment through intentional growth and love.

Section Four – Wisdom Skills and the Healthy Adult Mode Behaviors
Here you’ll discover 63 suggested areas for personal growth, practical ways to reparent yourself, strengthen self-love and care, and form deeper, caring connections with others. Examples of Healthy Adult Mode Behaviors include: Love, Wisdom, Heart/Enlightenment, Purposeful/Peace, Nurture, Empathy/Patience, Safety (Fear Modulation), Maturity/Responsibility, Focused Attention, Emotional Regulation, Kindness, Gentleness/Intimacy, Intuition, Inspiration, Goodwill/Cortical Override, Understanding, Boundaries, Attunement, Interdependence, and Legacy. These behaviors represent what researchers, clinicians, spouses, parents, grandparents, teachers, students, colleagues, and spiritual guides all identify as qualities that, when practiced consistently, help you become truly skilled at living.

Section Five – Gold, Silver, Rubies, and Precautions
In the final section, you’ll explore Gold, Silver, and Rubies (Parts 1–3), which are practical insights about wisdom drawn from the Book of Proverbs. The Appendix offers reflections on the Karpman Triangle and Equality Empowerment Triangles.

It is my hope that Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life becomes a valuable resource you’ll return to again and again, one that helps you grow wiser, love deeper, and live more skillfully throughout your life.