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Confessions of a Scary Mommy
- An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood - The Good, The Bad, and the Scary
- Narrated by: Jill Smokler
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV.
In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t.
If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?
When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.
I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier.
Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.
My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context.
But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.
I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.
The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.
I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.
If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club.
I know why some animals eat their young.
In chapters that cover husbands ("The Biggest Baby of Them All") to homework ("Didn’t I Already Graduate?"), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.
Sometimes I wish my son was still little - then I hear kids screaming at the store.
As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.”
What listeners say about Confessions of a Scary Mommy
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- kisa
- 04-23-13
Cracked Me Up!
Would you listen to Confessions of a Scary Mommy again? Why?
This book was great, it made me feel much better knowing that there are so many moms (or maybe all moms) that are so much like me in my struggles to be a good mom, keep a sense of self and juggle everything else life throws at us.
Caution: Do not listen to this while you're in the car with your kids ;)
16 people found this helpful
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- Elizabeth
- 05-31-15
Outstanding!
As a mom, I have days that I feel sub-par. I have days where I feel like everything I do is wrong, and that I'm the worst mother in the world. As I listened to this audiobook, I realized that there are so many women who feel the same way I do. Mrs. Jill Smokler is a genius! I laughed, I cried, and I learned to not be so hard on myself. Two thumbs WAY up!
7 people found this helpful
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- Leanne Hegarty
- 05-15-16
If you like your children and enjoy being a mother, don't read this
I didn't find anything particularly funny in the book at all. It is all actually quite depressing. It took about 3hours before she acknowledged that she actually did liked her children - sometimes.
I know being a mother can be challenging, but if you don't want the challenge, don't have children; it is a choice.
Sometimes when my daughter is doing something that irritates me, I take a deep breath and think how terrible it would be if something happened to her and she wasn't around any more to do the silly irritating thing.
Children are so often a function of their environment. If they are running a muck, perhaps some mothers need to look at themselves first before they say how terrible and dysfunctional their kids are.
Kids need disciple, routine, and most of all, unconditional love. It is all of their naughtiness, irritating ways, sneakiness, cheeky grins etc that make them so perfect.
If you don't want the bad, you never get to have the wonderful, amazing and satisfying good.
They're kids. When you get a puppy, you know it is going to pee on the floor; you expect it and mop it up. You know if you leave the door open, it will run away. So what do you do? You close the door. Why do so many people accept the mishaps of a puppy, but not a child? Why do so many of these mothers expect their children to act like adults? If you don't want the pee and the frustrations, don't have them. It is a choice.
5 people found this helpful
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- Anthony R Taylor
- 09-23-15
I'm relieved after this book!
Funny and good read about motherhood. I'm pregnant with my 1st baby and I'm relieved after reading this book. I don't have to be a perfect mom and my kid will be ok!
4 people found this helpful
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- Jana
- 05-07-15
Best Parenting Book EVER!!!!!
While being pregnant as I hit the last few weeks of my pregnancy I started to worry about things like still loving my puppy, how my body would survive labor, how I would survive motherhood, I decided to read Scary Mommy after seeing someone post the Scary Mommy Manifesto on FB. This book has made me feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!! It's nice to know that other women out there felt/feel the same way I do. I didn't feel like I could talk to my friends or family with the way I was feeling I didn't think they would understand, but this book pretty much hit all of the anxieties and fears I had, made me laugh, and definitely made me feel like I would survive all the things motherhood would bring! I would recommend this to ANYONE who is pregnant, and as a laugh to any mommy out there. If you are gonna get something for the momma to be in addition to baby stuff for a baby shower GET THEM SCARY MOMMY, and don't forget to pick up a copy for yourself.
4 people found this helpful
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- Veruka
- 05-22-16
Oh my gosh, have we all lost it?
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
A book about real motherhood with a comedian aspect. This book insulted my intelligence on a level that almost made me angry.
Has Confessions of a Scary Mommy turned you off from other books in this genre?
Oh, yes!
What didn’t you like about Jill Smokler’s performance?
She sounded so odd, brilliantly annoying, just like the book.
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
Anger/dissapointment maybe shock that this crap gets published?
Any additional comments?
Don't waste your money. If you are a mom you do not need this book you know it all already. And it almost insults women to be honest. I hated it!
3 people found this helpful
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- Djvs
- 05-16-16
Frustrated
I admit I'm not a stay-at-home mom. So maybe I'm not getting the full parenting experience. I do, however, I have a one-year-old, and I thought this book would be funny. What I found is that it celebrates and blissfully condones not only bad parenting, but also bad spousing. I mean, I'm not a perfect parent---I let my 1 year old eat 3 whole Barbados cherries yesterday (with 3 spiney pits each) and didn't tell the babysitter that it might hurt to poop today---but I don't take pride in my oversight and knowing others have done the same or worse doesn't make me feel better about it. I've already promised myself I won't do it again. I strive to be a better parent and spouse. I think it's the tone of the book that irritates me, not the content because I recognize no parent is perfect. Bad parenting is not ok---it happens--as parents we all have our oblivious and knowingly devious moments--but let's not write a book, grow complacent, and act like this is acceptable.
3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-10-16
boring
boring. we get it....parenting is hard. better as a website and not an entire book
3 people found this helpful
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- Christina
- 04-08-15
Great book
this book is where its at ups and downs about motherhood. good and bad these are things as mothers we all go through
3 people found this helpful
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- penelope
- 08-06-12
how can you not love it?
What did you love best about Confessions of a Scary Mommy?
Irreverent, honest, funny, touching - the stories of all the ups and downs of motherhood.. and for an adoptive parent in the "waiting" stage, this gives me solace. It is confirmed that all my worst fears are true, BUT I am not the only one that thinks this way. What if I try for so long to become a mom and day after day, I will hate it? Looks like I will and I will also love it! These women's stories crack me up and help me pass the interminable wait with a smile.
3 people found this helpful
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- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
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Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
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Weird Parenting Wins
- Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches
- By: Hillary Frank
- Narrated by: Hillary Frank, full cast
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Every parent and kid is unique, and as we get to know our kids, we can figure out what makes them tick. Because this is an ongoing process, Weird Parenting Wins covers children of all ages, ranging in topics from "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person" (on hygiene, potty training, and manners) to "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Tell You Things" (because eventually, they're going to be tight-lipped). You may find that someone else's weird parenting win works for you, or you might be inspired to try something new the next time you're stuck in a parenting rut.
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Creative ideas
- By Martha on 08-11-22
By: Hillary Frank
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I'll Show Myself Out
- Essays on Midlife and Motherhood
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In New York Times best-selling author and Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein’s second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explore the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife.
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Complete sanctimommy navel gaze
- By NJVJ on 05-05-22
By: Jessi Klein
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I Just Want to Pee Alone
- I Just Want to Pee Alone Series, Book 1
- By: Some Kickass Mom Bloggers, Jen Mann - editor
- Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Motherhood is the toughest - and funniest - job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful - you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? "I just want to pee alone!" Hear these hysterical essays.
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must listen
- By Amazon Customer on 11-05-18
By: Some Kickass Mom Bloggers, and others
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
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-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
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Weird Parenting Wins
- Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches
- By: Hillary Frank
- Narrated by: Hillary Frank, full cast
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Every parent and kid is unique, and as we get to know our kids, we can figure out what makes them tick. Because this is an ongoing process, Weird Parenting Wins covers children of all ages, ranging in topics from "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person" (on hygiene, potty training, and manners) to "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Tell You Things" (because eventually, they're going to be tight-lipped). You may find that someone else's weird parenting win works for you, or you might be inspired to try something new the next time you're stuck in a parenting rut.
-
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Creative ideas
- By Martha on 08-11-22
By: Hillary Frank
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I'll Show Myself Out
- Essays on Midlife and Motherhood
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In New York Times best-selling author and Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein’s second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explore the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife.
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Complete sanctimommy navel gaze
- By NJVJ on 05-05-22
By: Jessi Klein
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
- And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In busy-mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old - you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor").
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Ok, nothing amazing
- By Lklns on 03-14-19
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Ask Me What's for Dinner One More Time
- Inappropriate Thoughts on Motherhood
- By: Meredith Masony
- Narrated by: Meredith Masony
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the founder of That’s Inappropriate - one of the most popular parenting blogs on the web - comes a hilarious, genuine, and relatable essay collection on the ups and downs of motherhood. Now, Meredith shares her collection of witty essays on the universal frustrations of being a mom in today’s world, presenting her laugh-out-loud perspective on sex, aging, anxiety, friendship, and much more.
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Having Trouble Getting Over the F*** Word
- By Maria Wilson on 09-11-20
By: Meredith Masony
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Mommywood
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With the same down-to-earth wit that made her entertaining memoir sTORI telling a #1 New York Times best-seller, Tori tells the hilarious and humbling stories of life as a mom in the limelight. From learning to be the kind of parent her own mother never was to revealing what it's like to raise a family while everyone is watching, Mommywood is an irresistible snapshot of celebrity parenthood that you won't get from the paparazzi.
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Perfect Tori!
- By Amber on 04-19-09
By: Tori Spelling