A goodbye note found on a computer.

A father who says, “I don’t understand, but I love you.”

A marriage that proves joy can grow in places once ruled by fear.

From rural West Virginia to an online audience that shows up for humour, makeup, and honesty, we sit with Bobby Jean Spears as he traces a path from secrecy to self-belief.

If you’re weighing how and when to come out, you’ll find practical advice: start with a trusted friend, build a small circle, and save the family talk for when you feel safe.

If you’ve faced rejection, you’ll hear how life can still open up in surprising, ordinary, wonderful ways.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs a reminder that better isn’t a slogan; it’s a direction we can walk together.

Follow Bobby Jean:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@bobbyjeanspears

IG https://www.instagram.com/itsbobbyjeanspears/

This episode also honours the legacy of Anne Algar, a lesbian trailblazer whose activism for lesbian mums shaped the ground we stand on for so many of us.

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

The moment Christina saw a woman looking back at her in the mirror changed everything. "I can't really describe the euphoria," she reveals. "It was like finding something I didn't know was missing."

Christina's journey began with childhood signs that went unrecognised. Growing up in the 1990s, she always gravitated toward traditionally feminine activities and friendships with girls, yet lacked the framework to understand her identity. When her father bought her football tickets as a treat, she innocently asked, "Have I been really naughty? Is this a punishment?"

Her journey took a troubling detour at university when she first approached a GP about gender dysphoria, only to be dismissed with antidepressants that numbed rather than helped. "I was treating a symptom in a very negative, very non-constructive way," Christina reflects. Years passed before the COVID lockdown forced her to confront suppressed feelings and begin her transition in earnest.

Coming out proved so challenging that Christina initially wrote letters to friends, unable to verbalise her identity. While most relationships survived her transition, including a remarkable friendship with her supportive ex-wife, others couldn't accept her authentic self. Today, Christina works with trans support groups in Greater Manchester, helping others navigate similar journeys.

Her story illuminates the power of persistence through societal barriers and personal doubt. As Christina puts it: "It's a marathon, not a sprint... I never thought I'd be able to get to where I am now." Her experience reminds us that while finding yourself may be difficult, the joy of authenticity makes every step worthwhile.

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

When Patrick Kitana Ettenes bluntly told his father "I suck dick, daddy" at 15 years old, it marked just one turning point in a life brimming with extraordinary challenges and triumphs. Born in Barbados in 1983 to a Dutch father and Trinidadian mother, Patrick's childhood was a paradox of privilege and pain—his father's high-profile security work with prime ministers and diplomats couldn't shield him from relentless bullying due to his feminine expression.

Patrick's shocking classroom experiences included teacher-orchestrated "games" where students chased and attacked him, leaving him with bruises and scratches his mother eventually noticed. Despite this trauma, he emerged with an indomitable spirit, eventually leaving Barbados for Cuba on a psychology scholarship at just 15, before settling in Manchester, UK, where he finally found community and acceptance.

But life in England wasn't the paradise he hoped for. Patrick survived an abusive relationship that left him homeless, battled substance abuse, contracted HIV, and was diagnosed with early onset dementia in his early thirties. Yet rather than succumbing to these challenges, he transformed them into fuel for activism. Finding no support groups for LGBTQ+ people with dementia, he created them himself, launching the "Bring Dementia Out" initiative with the Alzheimer's Society.

Patrick's identity journey is equally compelling—identifying as non-binary and sometimes presenting as female at conferences, he embraces both sides of himself while rejecting the pressure to undergo gender confirmation surgery after learning it might affect his sexual pleasure. His perspective on dementia is particularly remarkable, describing how as his brain degenerates, his empathy and intuition have heightened, giving him what he calls a "superpower" to help others.

Have you encountered someone whose resilience fundamentally changed how you view adversity? this extraordinary conversation that will challenge your perspectives on sexuality, gender, disability and the transformative power of turning personal trauma into community advocacy.

Read more about Patrick's work and diagnosis here

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production