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Publisher's Summary

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.2 out of 5.0
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    1,566
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Performance

  • 4.3 out of 5.0
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  • 1 Stars
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Story

  • 4.2 out of 5.0
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  • Overall
  • Angela
  • Kaukauna, WI, United States
  • 07-01-11

Hilarious!

I LOVED this book! Absolutely wonderful. I just couldn't turn it off. I am hoping there will be a "part 2" some day.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Graeme
  • Sydney, Australia
  • 05-13-11

Dad Says Some Good Sh*t

This is a wonderful audiobook. Very, VERY funny, and surprisingly touching at the same time. Dad's a good guy, he just believes in talking bluntly - very bluntly. My kind of guy!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

A must listen for @sh*tmydadsays Twitter followers

I've been following @sh*tmydadsays on Twitter for some time now. I knew that the author had signed a TV deal based on his Tweets, but I had no idea that he had a book until I was browsing around on Audible one night. I'm glad I found this book because I enjoyed it immensely. In following the @sh*tmydadsays tweets, I just thought the author's dad was just a crazy old coot, but after listening to this book, I realized just how wise the dad is. If I had just one complaint, it would be that this book is too short, but I guess there's always that TV series to look forward to. I just hope it's half as good as the book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

A fun, funny book

A self-depricating look at his life growing up, Justin Halpern has written a book that made me chuckle, smirk, and occasionally laugh out loud listening to it. I have known people like his father and that fact made this book all the more enjoyable.

Not for the prudish, it is a great listen and it made me remember that childhood was a traumatic, emotional experience best laughed at than cried about.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Steve
  • Kinston, NC, United States
  • 06-22-10

A Laugh Riot !!

I was really needing a change of pace, and this came along at the right time. Light and not too long, worth a credit in my opinion..

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • steve
  • kearny, NJ, United States
  • 06-25-10

Simply hilarious!

Clever, creative, unique and a very funny listen, which had me laughing out loud from beginning to end!

4 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Good book. Great narration.

Enjoyed the book and the blog. But the audiobook, however, is really special.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

Hilarious....

loved every minute of it. You won't be disappointed. I listened to it in one sitting.

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

A laugh a minute

This book made me laugh about every 45 seconds or so. It also has some very solid life lessons as delivered by a blunt but carring father. This is a perfect book for the ride to and from work.

  • Overall
  • Performance
  • Story

Funny As Sh!t

Prepare to laugh and laugh. This is funny stuff...it's nice to know another dad delivers his advice in the same manner as my own.