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Publisher's Summary

From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian behind the web series Whine About It and To Be Honest comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities.

Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

This is Matt's book. Just to clarify, though, it is absolutely not a memoir; Matt is far too young to have done anything worth remembering (though he did win an actual People's Choice Award for his BuzzFeed web series, Whine About It, which is pretty good, if you ask his mother). This is also most certainly not a book of advice; he is too woefully ill-prepared for life to offer anything in the way of counsel (though that won't stop him from talking). Call this a collection of awful moments that led to his grumbling, blundering adulthood - a chronicle of little indignities that, when taken together, amount to a life of hilarious anguish.

With keen wit and plenty of self-deprecation, Matt reveals how hard it is to shed his past as the Midwest's biggest nerd, that one time a taquito nearly murdered him at his brother's surprise birthday party, and the time he came out to his friends and family (the closet was a bit messy). Matt also wrestles with the humiliations of adulthood, like giving up on love in New York City, living alone with no one to heat his microwave dinners, and combating the inner voice that tells him to say aloud all the things the rest of us are smart enough to keep to ourselves.

You probably don't need this book, but, let's be honest - you do. Since you're already here, you might as well pull up a chair, grab your glass(es) of wine, and enjoy.

©2017 Matt Bellassai (P)2017 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.

Not only is Matt’s book superbly written, his performance is hilarious as he always is, heartfelt and insurmountably entertaining. I listened to it while preparing Thanksgiving dinner and laughed the entire time. I even had to rewind parts to laugh again. Seriously everyone needs to download this audiobook right now.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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F-ing Hilarious!!

Some of the things I could really relate to. Which I don’t know if it is good or bad... either way this man knows how to captivate an audience.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Love this book and love Matt

This book was everyting I wanted it to be, being a long time fan and turning so many people on to Matt , I am so proud of him and of how well this book was done. Wish him all the best! Looking forward to seeing him in Philly!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Funny and Endearing

I’m a big fan of Matt Bellassai, so I looked forward to this book. It didn’t disappoint. Matt brings his usual charming, snarky wit and the book just flies by. Really enjoyable.

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  • Bee
  • United States
  • 02-16-18

Funny! BUT whiny vocal fry gets o l d.

I love Matt and he is downright hilarious but it became hard to listen to the whiny vocal fry for hours on end. The bit and delivery that made him famous are best received in small doses. I never say this about comedians books but this one might be better read yourself.

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True, everything is awful- but this book is great!

I love Matt!!! As hilarious as the writing is- it’s Bellassai’s performance that makes this little book a winner.

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A delicious Twinkie of a book!

If you’re a fan of web series Whine About It or To Be Honest, you know exactly what you’re in for: lots of giggles, brutal honesty and the most hysterical similes and metaphors around! I enjoyed it!

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Full of fun

This book is funny, I enjoyed it and it was much like his wine about it segments, but way better!

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Matt Bellassai, Will You Be My Bestie?

This book is absolutely hilarious with dozens of laugh out loud moments. Matt Bellassai is relatable story teller and I can't wait for his next book.

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Wonderful!

If you could sum up Everything Is Awful in three words, what would they be?

Hilarious.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Matt because the book is about him.

Which character – as performed by Matt Bellassai – was your favorite?

Himself.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I died with laughter.

Any additional comments?

I'm so glad that Matt Bellassai performed the book himself. His voice added so much to the comedy of the book. There were times that there were tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. I would definitely recommend!

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  • PavLove
  • 12-28-17

Well, Mat as he is

Discovered him through the podcast and he seemed to be better there rather than in his book. In the book he came across as rather not the person I would want to hang out with. Give him his due he portrayed himself as a person with a lot of issues like many of us, however, I don't know whether it is just to keep his public profile as everyone would expect him to be (everything is awful and I'm not satisfied with everything and everybody) or it is just some sugar in the tea to make this tea tastier. Strangely enough the book ends somewhat abruptly when you think it should have been at least some summary as autobiography books would normally end. This books just ends as if something wrong with recordings. As a whole I didn't really enjoy the book and regret that I wasted my credit for this. However, I'm sure there will be people who will enjoy it.