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Publisher's Summary

From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian behind the web series Whine About It and To Be Honest comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities.

Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

This is Matt's book. Just to clarify, though, it is absolutely not a memoir; Matt is far too young to have done anything worth remembering (though he did win an actual People's Choice Award for his BuzzFeed web series, Whine About It, which is pretty good, if you ask his mother). This is also most certainly not a book of advice; he is too woefully ill-prepared for life to offer anything in the way of counsel (though that won't stop him from talking). Call this a collection of awful moments that led to his grumbling, blundering adulthood - a chronicle of little indignities that, when taken together, amount to a life of hilarious anguish.

With keen wit and plenty of self-deprecation, Matt reveals how hard it is to shed his past as the Midwest's biggest nerd, that one time a taquito nearly murdered him at his brother's surprise birthday party, and the time he came out to his friends and family (the closet was a bit messy). Matt also wrestles with the humiliations of adulthood, like giving up on love in New York City, living alone with no one to heat his microwave dinners, and combating the inner voice that tells him to say aloud all the things the rest of us are smart enough to keep to ourselves.

You probably don't need this book, but, let's be honest - you do. Since you're already here, you might as well pull up a chair, grab your glass(es) of wine, and enjoy.

©2017 Matt Bellassai (P)2017 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.

Not only is Matt’s book superbly written, his performance is hilarious as he always is, heartfelt and insurmountably entertaining. I listened to it while preparing Thanksgiving dinner and laughed the entire time. I even had to rewind parts to laugh again. Seriously everyone needs to download this audiobook right now.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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F-ing Hilarious!!

Some of the things I could really relate to. Which I don’t know if it is good or bad... either way this man knows how to captivate an audience.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Love this book and love Matt

This book was everyting I wanted it to be, being a long time fan and turning so many people on to Matt , I am so proud of him and of how well this book was done. Wish him all the best! Looking forward to seeing him in Philly!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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It’s a miracle he’s even alive at this point

I knew Matt Bellassai was a Leo before I looked up his birthday... his intensely dramatic retelling of the most (hilariously) traumatic events of his life was a dead giveaway. A book like this is much better when read by the author, especially one like Matt. Highly recommend.

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More annoying than funny

Based on previous reviews I expected to be laughing out loud. While I was occasionally mildly amused, I was more often irritated by Matt's rantings. Not for me :-(

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Dying

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Have recommended to everyone I know.

What other book might you compare Everything Is Awful to and why?

Me Talk Pretty One Day

Which scene was your favorite?

Coming out story; Cabin with family

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I had to pause it on the bus to work several times because I couldn't contain laughter.

Any additional comments?

I've followed Wine About it for a long time. I honestly didn't have huge expectations for this book, but Matt can write. I have read dozens upon dozens of memoirs, and this is easily a new favorite. I can't recommend enough.

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Made me snort. A lot.

I loved everything about this book. The orthodontist story took me back to when I puked Apple Jacks everywhere while they did the molds. Truly my most favorite book ever. Please sir.. may I have another? ( In audible form since I pretty much live in my car and looked like a lunatic to other drivers, laughing and snorting so hard I hit the horn one time)
Bravo!

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Hilarious

This book is so funny, it had me literally howling with laughter during my commute. May actually be dangerous to listen while driving. I laughed so hard I made sounds I didn’t even know I could make. 10/10 recommend.

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Funny and relatable

On routine and/or slower work days, I like to listen to lighthearted books that are easy to digest and have a sense of humor. This book was perfect for that purpose. And it had a little substance too! In a world obsessed with perfection, Matt's brutally honest approach to his own life was a refreshing reminder that life is sometimes just weird and awkward. If you are particularly anti-millennial then you might not enjoy this- that said, I think there is something for every age group to appreciate here.

I'm not going to lie, I wasn't super keen on his voice performance, but for an autobiography you can't really complain when the author narrates.

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Too funny

Funny guy & funny situations. Somebody give him a sitcom. I'll watch it. Do stand up, Matt!