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A Married Man's Guide to Christmas
- Narrated by: Robert Henry
- Length: 2 hrs and 6 mins
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A Married Man's Guide to Christmas
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Publisher's summary
In the great tradition of guy-humor everywhere, here comes humorist Robert Henry’s growling, good-hearted rant about holiday madness, A Married Man's Guide to Christmas. Henry reveals the truth about Christmas through the eyes of a typical married man. “Remember, it’s not how you celebrate the joyous season. It’s whether you are still alive, married, sleeping indoors, with a healthy prostate, and without a rap sheet on January 4th that counts.”
Husbands will laugh out loud. Dads will slap their knees and keel over (have CPR ready). Wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, female co-workers, and sales clerks, who dread seeing men mumble and mutter their way through the Christmas section at Big Box Discout Warehouse, will nod in recognition at the syndrome best described as “Can I survive until New Year's?”
A Married Man’s Guide to Christmas is a must for every guy who wants the women in his life to understand why he’d rather buy them gift certificates than brave the treacherous online world of lingerie catalogs. Why have just a joyous season, when you can have a Christmas filled with laughs that don’t include finding pictures of Uncle Herbert in a teddy?
Irreverent, honest, and biodegradable, Robert Henry has here captured the essence of the holiday season for all men. So grab it today for all the beleaguered males on your Xmas list and all the long-suffering females who just want the lights strung on the front porch by Christmas Eve, the honey-do list completed before Aunt Sookie arrives with her flatulent Pekinese, and that expensive bottle of Scotch left mostly full until the tinsel is hung, the presents are wrapped, and the home owner’s association has accepted your apology for spelling out a less-than-jolly greeting in solar-powered candy canes on your front lawn.
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- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53
If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
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My Planet
- Finding Humor in the Oddest Places
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 571
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 525
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Story4 out of 5 stars 520
Follow New York Times best-selling author Mary Roach - but be careful not to trip - as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator drove me crazy
- By Ann on 04-23-14
By: Mary Roach
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The Portable Veblen
- By: Elizabeth Mckenzie
- Narrated by: Julia Gibson
- Length: 12 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 174
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 175
An exuberant, one-of-a-kind novel about love and family, war and nature, new money and old values by a brilliant New Yorker contributor. The Portable Veblen is a dazzlingly original novel that's as big-hearted as it is laugh-out-loud funny. Set in and around Palo Alto amid the culture clash of new money and old (antiestablishment) values, and with the specter of our current wars looming across its words, The Portable Veblen is an unforgettable look at the way we live now.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not what it was cracked up to be
- By Linda on 02-03-16
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Too Close to the Falls
- A Memoir
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 129
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 112
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 115
Welcome to the childhood of Catherine McClure Gildiner. It is the middle of the 1950s in Lewiston, New York, a small and sleepy American town very near Niagara Falls. No one is divorced. Mothers wear high heels to the beauty salon and children pop Pez candy and swing from vines over a local gorge. But at the tender age of four, it becomes clear to her Cathy's parents that their rambunctious daughter is no ordinary child and they soon put her "to work" at her father's pharmacy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant and funny and touching.
- By Kindle Customer on 11-07-19
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The One-in-a-Million Boy
- By: Monica Wood
- Narrated by: Chris Ciulla
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,606
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,375
For years, guitarist Quinn Porter has been on the road, chasing gig after gig, largely absent to his twice-ex-wife Belle and their odd, Guinness records-obsessed son. When the boy dies suddenly, Quinn seeks forgiveness for his paternal shortcomings by completing the requirements for one of his son's unfinished Boy Scout badges. For seven Saturdays Quinn does yard work for Ona Vitkus, the spry 104-year-old Lithuanian immigrant the boy had visited weekly.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it
- By Justin on 10-20-16
By: Monica Wood
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Property
- Stories Between Two Novellas
- By: Lionel Shriver
- Narrated by: Lionel Shriver
- Length: 14 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
A striking new collection of ten short stories and two novellas that explores the idea of property in every meaning of the word, from the acclaimed New York Times best-selling author of the National Book Award finalist So Much for That and the international best seller We Need to Talk About Kevin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Painful and drawn out
- By JR on 06-27-18
By: Lionel Shriver
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Making Spirits Bright
- By: Fern Michaels, Elizabeth Bass, Rosalind Noonan, and others
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 161
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4 out of 5 stars 141
Melanie McLaughlin desperately wants to adopt two orphaned siblings and give them a real home for Christmas. A just-for-the-holiday marriage to Bryce Landry fits her plan perfectly...until unexpected sparks have Melanie dreaming of forever by his side....
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4 out of 5 stars
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So so book
- By John on 08-25-22
By: Fern Michaels, and others
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What Doesn't Kill You
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
What Doesn't Kill You is the story of how Thomasina Hodges, a.k.a. Tee, loses her job and finds herself. Tee's evolution after her sudden and unexpected outplacement, is loosely based on the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, relinquishing, readjusting, and reinvesting. For Tee, losing her job is like a death, but with time, and some bumps, bruises and a new attitude, she comes out on the other side, having reassessed what's important in her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent story
- By Doris Greene on 04-11-24
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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Liberating Paris
- A Novel
- By: Linda Bloodworth Thomason
- Narrated by: Cynthia Darlow
- Length: 12 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
Woodrow McIlmore, the town's golden boy and local gynecologist, is married to his beautiful high school sweetheart, Milan, and seems by all appearances to be leading the perfect life with his two children and extended family and friends. But when Wood's daughter announces that she is smitten with a college classmate and intends to marry him, her parents are stunned.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Deeply moving, a great listen
- By Cynthia on 11-27-05
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 795
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 794
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Please Don't Eat the Daisies
- By: Jean Kerr
- Narrated by: Marni Webb
- Length: 2 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story4 out of 5 stars 49
This collection of essays observes the perils of motherhood, wifehood, selfhood, and other assorted challenges. Since its publication in 1957, it has sold millions of copies and has been adapted into a Broadway play, a film, a TV series, and now an audiobook. Jean Kerr's parodies of the clichéd 1950s prescription for glamorous or maternal feminine behavior still resonate today as we enter the 21st century.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Poor narration of smart, dry, funny essays
- By Buyseverythingonline on 04-30-16
By: Jean Kerr
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The Scoop
- Godmothers, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 255
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 215
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Story4 out of 5 stars 216
Teresa "Toots" Amelia Loudenberry has crammed a great deal of living - not to mention eight much-loved husbands - into her varied and rewarding life. Newly single, Toots is ready to taste life again, and fate has just handed her the perfect opportunity.
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5 out of 5 stars
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GREAT FUN
- By Linda Louise on 03-12-12
By: Fern Michaels
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Chasing Slow
- By: Erin Loechner
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 187
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 158
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Story4 out of 5 stars 155
Chasing Slow models HGTV star Erin Loechner's journey to help you break out of the faster-better-stronger trap and make small changes to refresh your perspective, renew your priorities, and shift your focus to what matters most.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Book is wonderful - narrator completely ruins it
- By Gail on 05-22-17
By: Erin Loechner
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4 out of 5 stars 30
For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
What listeners say about A Married Man's Guide to Christmas
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- W. Baril
- 10-30-13
Dull and Poorly Narrated
A Married Man's Guide to Christmas was a great disappointment. I was hoping for a thoughtful and humorous treatment of the very different way men and women view and participate in the Christmas holiday. This isn't it. The humor is cliched and forced, and there is no real insight into the Christmas challenges we face as men and husbands. I may have groaned out loud but the book delivered no laughs. The author stumbled on words regularly in the narration adding to the general feeling of slow torture listening to the book. Save your money.
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