Codependent No More

How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Narrated by: Christina Moore
Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (4,985 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

A source of healing and inspiration for millions, this modern classic spent over three years on the New York Times best seller list and made codependency a household word. Codependent No More contains dozens of real-life examples, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests to help you along the road to recovering your own life. For anyone struggling with a relationship involving alchoholism or other compulsive behaviors, this program points the way to healing and the renewal of hope. Melody Beattie's insights into the nature of the phenomenon of codependency will guide you step by step to the understanding that letting go will set you free.
©1987, 1992 Hazelden Foundation (P)2005 Recorded Books, LLC

Critic Reviews

"Few people understand this idea as well as Melody Beattie, an author recovering successfully from a variety of addictive disorders and entanglements." (AudioFile)
"Bettie understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift." (Time)

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    5 out of 5 stars

Life changing book for caretaker types

I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels like they give to others too much, and receive little to nothing in return. To those of us who feel like we can’t say no to others and let other people’s emotions dictate our actions... to those of us who say yes to chores, or even social outings we do not wish to participate in to make another person happy... I never would have thought of myself as codependent. I think of myself as a strong, but giving leader. This book was a game changer for me. I now have the confidence to start setting boundaries, say “no” and even ask others for favors without that overwhelming feeling of guilt I used to have. I highly recommend this book.

28 people found this helpful

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Excellent book

Any additional comments?

At the age of 35, I had finally realized that I had an issue with codependency, but I honestly didn't know why. No one in my family was an alcoholic or addicted to drugs or anything. Then I became aware of this book. At first, I'll admit, I was worried that this book wouldn't work for me because it seemed to be very focused on codependency related to alcoholism. However, as the book progressed, it began touching on the other causes of codependency. Thanks to this book, I now realize that my codependent tendencies are a result of being abandoned by my father and then being raised in a militaristic family where my opinions, thoughts, and feelings didn't matter. This was a true breakthrough for me. It has allowed me to finally begin to heal the wounds that have been there for years. So even if your codependent issues aren't due to someone's chemical dependency, this book can be a huge help.

60 people found this helpful

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Life changing perspective

In the process of a divorce I decided to go to a therapist to see what I had done wrong, my partner of 15 years was leaving me with no meaningful explanation and I didn't see it coming. She mentioned the term codependency and boundaries to me, I found this book and it lead me to Adult Children of Alcoholics literature and a group. I couldn't believe all of these aspects of myself and my family I thought were uniquely insane were textbook alcoholic/disfunction. We didn't have alcohol in the family but was raised by a dry alcoholic with the same patterns. This has changed my life in such a healthy and wonderful way, I share the info with everyone I think can relate and am always shocked at how many people that is. I have come back to it years later when stress has triggered these behaviors in me and it helps get me back on track. I am so grateful! Great book, if you had any troubling disfunction in your upbringing or relationships after, if you think nobody ever listens to you, this book is for you.

55 people found this helpful

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Better Narrated in my own Head

Great material, a little more God heavy than preferred but I can look past that. What I can't handle is the narration. Started on my Kindle, moved to Audible, but moving back. I have nothing personal against Chrisina Moore, I just can't stand her "story time" inflection and the "he or she" "his or her" stuff. I just finished listening to Brene Brown doing her own Power of Vulnerability and that was quite powerful. If the Audible inventory is more like Christina Moore and less like Brene Brown, then my comparison may not be fair...and Audible may not be for me. Regardless, back to my own silent voice narration at bedtime...continues to be a helpful book.

9 people found this helpful

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Great

I've listened to this book over & over again. I had the book then got the audio. It has helped me to remember to take care of myself.

16 people found this helpful

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slightly misleading

it has a lot of good information about living codependently, but focuses very heavily on the wives of alcoholics. it also does not start out with much emphasis on faith, but slowly adds in more and more until it feels as though the fall back advice is "trust god". while that is a valid approach for some, I am not trying to work on my relationship with God. I am trying to work on codependency with my friends and partners.

15 people found this helpful

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very helpful

down to earth, hopeful and positive, good for people struggling with these issues.

7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

EXCELLENT!

For anyone wondering why they are always worn out emotionally and feel the need to "make everyone better and fix everything." This is the book for you. Although Beattie focuses on alcoholism, Codepencency is about more than having an alcoholic spouse. Codependency is about how you cope with dysfunctional relationships where one individual carries the load and doesn't allow the other to face their responsibilities. Excellent listen! Excellent Read as I bought the hard copy as well.

30 people found this helpful

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A must hear/read!!

This book changed my life. Best buy ever! Wish I had read it before!!! Its so conforting findiing yourself through its pages. It helped me understand myself and letting go. 100% positive ratings!

14 people found this helpful

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Good Book/complex subject matter

I purchased both the hard copy and the Audible version. I am listining to the audible version first and if I need to review anything I can go back to the book and think about it. This is a complex subject matter that can be difficult to understand. The writers does her best to make it digestable for us.
Otherwise it is well read and the speaker is easy to listen to.

17 people found this helpful

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  • chris
  • 12-04-14

Very good for recovery

What did you like most about Codependent No More?

For me, personally, this (audio)book is one of the best I have listened to (read) recently. It not only points out to eventual causes of the disfunction but also to possible ways of recovering from it.

Have you listened to any of Christina Moore’s other performances? How does this one compare?

Very good reading style.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Many moments: couple of them are "feel what you feel", about anger, grief, 12 Step work and other

Any additional comments?

Genuinly, "high" on my priority list.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Amy
  • 09-02-13

Every mother, wife, woman should own a copy

What did you like most about Codependent No More?

This book was recommended to me by a counselor while I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is one woman's manual to overcoming struggles and although the book has a heavy emphasis on dealing with alcoholics, and people with dependency issues, something that was not necessarily true for me, it taught me a massive amount about my own thought process and really how I bet myself up way too much mentally.It genuinely changed me for the better and made me feel understood and more aware of my strengths.I purchased the audio version as I really did not feel like reading some "self help" crap, if I'm honest. However I think I made the right choice, the narrator is perfect and I have listened to some chapters over and over.I recommend this if you ever feel your kindness is taken advantage of, you feel under appreciated, you say yes to things because you feel guilty saying no or you have any sort of hurtful, or dysfunctional relationships in your life,You will finally understand everything,

What did you like best about this story?

It is written in a non-preachy way, it is not condescending and unlike other self help books, this can sometimes make you mad, but at yourself. It took me on a journey I will never forget.

Which character – as performed by Christina Moore – was your favourite?

Christina Moore is excellent. It feels like a chat rather than someone reading to you, I cannot recommend her highly enough

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

No, but it is a book you will ALWAYS go back to

Any additional comments?

If your in doubt, but other books are telling you the same old positive thinking diatribe..I cant emphasize enough, this book is a massive seller for a reason, and its one you will pass on

10 people found this helpful

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  • Sophie
  • 01-07-19

If you feel the call to heal, this book is for you

Wow. This book is the most transformational book I have read. I feel like I now have the tools to learn to trust myself and make decisions without crippling anxiety and uncertainty. I felt constantly confused and analysed everything, now I know why. If you enter relationships and end up trying to ‘fix’ others, this book will help you. If you have suffered any kind of abuse or trauma, this book will help you. Thank you to the author, so glad I read this.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-26-20

fell short of my expectations

Ok, but too focused on alcoholism and AA, and when checklist for co-dependents is read out, essentially anyone would identify, seeing the criteria range from one extreme to the other, including opposing qualities. Makes the argument less convincing.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-22-20

Excellent

Very good book easy read to the point full of information. The books really made me re assess my life. Thank you

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Chevonne
  • 05-31-20

Very Insightful and Life Changig Book

I have the paperback version of this book amd read it abfew years ago. I enjoyed it then and decided to buy the audiobook so that I could relisten the book is just as good as I remember and the information does not get old if codependency is something that you are working on recovering from.

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  • NSL
  • 04-23-20

It taught me everything I needed and more!

Within the first few minutes, I was snatched! I can't believe how much I've learnt about myself in such a small amount of time..

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  • Cliente Amazon
  • 01-17-20

Beattie changed my relationship with the world

I learned so much, a perfect description of my approach to my partner who was struggling with drug addiction. Savior, prosecutor, Victim. A constant exhaustion and resentment made me unable to be me. I thought I lost my self and I blamed my partner for needing me. After reading this it was like the room we had been stuck in finally unlocked. we are getting our confidence back.
By making the choices wonderfully advised by Beattie you will be entering a sustainable way to Love.

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  • Melissa O'Shea
  • 05-17-19

Worthwhile listen

Very valid information and explanation of the problems encountered in toxic relationships. Brings understanding to otherwise difficult to process situations

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  • One very happy customer
  • 06-23-18

Excellent!

This book is a must read for anyone who may even remotely junk they are codependent. The insight into certain traits you have thought are part of your character is eye opening. I'm grateful for this book and the path it has set me on to being my true self.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-14-19

Real, Confronting and relevant

This book is real, confronting & very relevant to me. I recommend reading this as a audio rather than hard copy due to some of the moments that may be confronting and make you want to put the book down. The explanations and understanding given are very clear and realistic. A must read for anyone growing out of codependency.

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  • Mertle
  • 09-05-19

so relatable

This book was not exactly what I thought it would be. The title to me suggested that this book would have solutions to stop codependant behavior. This was still a great book it went deep into what co-dependant relationships look like and gave many examples. I loved hearing about other peoples stories and comparing them with my own. A great book

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-26-19

Too Repetitive

Found the book was repetitive. Information was too general and without substance. Didnt finish reading as I could see no use..

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-11-19

A good introduction to the concept

This book is a good intro and gives some excellent tips and pointers in a general way.

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  • JM
  • 05-31-18

Fantastic book for everyone!

Firstly, the narrator is great and conveyed the content of the book in an interesting and engaging way. Secondly, the book in itself is fantastic, a must read! The author does refer quite a bit to alcoholic families/ codependents (as this is where the term came from) but I still felt the book is relevant for anyone that struggles with codependency issues and there were enough broader examples that are relatable. You could feel that Melody writes the book from a lived experience, someone who has moved through to the other side and practices what she preaches. There is no blame or shame attributed but encouragement to take the reins of your own life and responsibility for your own behaviour, feelings and reactions. It's for people that tend to become rescuers, have difficulty saying no and tend to put others first at their own expense (leading at times to resentment, frustration and exhaustion). Setting healthy boundaries and caring for yourself in a loving way has a flow on effect to others around you. A great book!

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  • Constantine Zakkaroff
  • 04-28-18

The Grand Awakening

This book helped me understand the importance of developing personal responsibility instead of bitterly blaming others for my shortcomings. My only regret now is not discovering this wisdom earlier in my life.

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  • Shane Daffy
  • 03-12-18

Brilliantly

So easy to listen to and understand well done Melody This has helped us with our journey 👍🙏

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-01-18

what I needed to hear

this book is long. it contains long lists. but for the codependent who is contemplating reading it, every paragraph is worth the time it takes to read it.

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  • Blackmagic
  • 03-15-16

Excellent book and narrator!

A book from someone who knows what they are talking about. Life changing advice, I plan to listen to it again. This book can be used for all kinds of situations and not just specifically to partners of an alcoholic. Narrated thoughtfully as if she was the author herself. I highly recommend a purchase.

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  • JUDY
  • 09-01-15

Thank heavens

Thank heavens that I have found this audio book
It is my friend!
So much wisdom is helpful to have