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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
Swords.
Sorcery.
Dick Jokes.
Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
Having taken on the bodies of their fantasy characters, Tim and the others are forced to discover the answers to two questions that every underachieving lowlife who's ever rolled a d20 has asked themselves at least once.
What if you and your friends got to live the game for real? What if you and your friends were assholes?
Would you have what it takes to survive? The strength? The wisdom? The...charisma?
Do you have the dice in your sack?
It's like Lord of the Rings meets your mom in a truck stop bathroom, but even cheaper.
This set includes:
- Critical Failures
- Critical Failures II: Fail Harder
- Critical Failures III: A Storm of S-Words
- Critical Failures IV: The Phantom Pinas
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Baxter Zevcenko's life is pretty sweet. He's making a name for himself as the kingpin of his smut-peddling high school syndicate, the other gangs are staying out of his business, and he's dating the girl of his dreams, Esme. But when Esme gets kidnapped, things start to get seriously weird, and the only man drunk enough to help is a bearded, booze-soaked, supernatural bounty hunter who goes by the name of Jackson "Jackie" Ronin.
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WTF
- By Adam on 11-14-17
By: Charlie Human
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The Beast of Barcroft
- By: Bill Schweigart
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
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Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
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Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
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Krampus
- The Yule Lord
- By: Brom
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 16 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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One Christmas Eve in a small hollow in Boone County, West Virginia, struggling songwriter Jesse Walker witnesses a strange spectacle: seven devilish figures chasing a man in a red suit toward a sleigh and eight reindeer. When the reindeer leap skyward, taking the sleigh, devil men, and Santa into the clouds, screams follow. Moments later, a large sack plummets back to earth, a magical sack that thrusts the down-on-his-luck singer into the clutches of the terrifying Yule Lord, Krampus.
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5 stars
- By colleen on 11-17-12
By: Brom
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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Succubus Christmas Special
- By: A.J. Markam
- Narrated by: Iggy Toma
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In this irreverent take on the holidays, Ian gets a new quest in a virtual reality video game: kill a monstrous villain named Sinter Klaws. (And no, he is NOT a jolly old elf.) Join Ian, his succubus Alaria, and his imp Stig as they journey through a winter wonderland full of killer reindeer, lecherous elves, and the worst mall Santa in the history of the world.
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Say my name b**ch! A porny, Xmas, litRPG short
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-07-21
By: A.J. Markam
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Black Blade Blues
- By: J.A. Pitts
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Sarah Beauhall has more on her plate than most 20-somethings: day job as a blacksmith, night job as a props manager for low-budget movies, and her free time is spent fighting in a medieval re-enactment group. The lead actor breaks Sarah's favorite one-of-a-kind sword, and to avoid reshooting scenes, Sarah agrees to repair the blade. One of the extras, who claims to be a dwarf, offers to help. And that's when things start to get weird.
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Heroine falls way short
- By realdog on 03-19-15
By: J.A. Pitts
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Contractor
- The Contractors, Book 1
- By: Andrew Ball
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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The Earth is under siege - and no one knows about it because the invaders erase those whom they consume. A handful of men and women stand on the border between the mundane and the magical. They have a special spark of soul - not quite enough to be naturally gifted in spellcraft but greater than the average person, a tiny flame that can ignite incredible potential. They possess the ability to fight back against the Vorid: the ability to become a Contractor.
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Where. Is. The. Sequel!!!!
- By Brina on 07-21-16
By: Andrew Ball
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Blood Scent
- Junkyard Druid Novellas, Book 1
- By: M. D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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After the loss of his girlfriend Jesse, druid-trained hunter Colin McCool swore off monster-hunting for good. Now a rogue vampire is killing the weak and defenseless in his city, and no one else seems to care enough to stop him. To end the slaughter, Colin has agreed to take up his sword one last time...but will this "one final job" be the death of him?
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dont waste money
- By STACY GREEN on 12-23-18
By: M. D. Massey
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Eden's Gate: The Reborn
- A LitRPG Adventure, Book 1
- By: Edward Brody
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When Gunnar Long is transported into the first fully-immersive virtual MMORPG, he finds himself in a new world filled with magic, mystery, and adventure. No more 9-to-5 job. No more studio apartment. No more reality TV. Finally, he's in a place where he can call home, a place with people he can call friends. But as more people want to trade their real world lives to get inside Eden's Gate, the government of the outside world wants the "game" shut down at all costs.
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Good start
- By Dawn on 04-15-17
By: Edward Brody
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One More Last Time
- A LitRPG/GameLit Novel (The Good Guys, Book 1)
- By: Eric Ugland
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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He thought it was the end, and his gun sat ready to make sure. But an oddball offer from his last friend comes at the literal last second. Curiosity gets the best of him, and he finds himself sucked into iNcarn8, a game claiming to be a whole new life. Now, as Montana, the larger-than-life tank warrior, he has one more last time to get his life right.
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ignore the short read time
- By Thomas bankston on 07-13-19
By: Eric Ugland
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Stuff and Nonsense
- Threadbare Series, Volume 1
- By: Andrew Seiple
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Threadbare. He is 12 inches tall, full of fluff, and really, really bad at being a hero. Magically animated and discarded by his maker as a failed experiment, he is saved by a little girl. But she's got problems of her own, and he might not be able to help her. Fortunately for the little golem, he's quick to find allies, learn skills, gain levels, and survive horrible predicaments. Which is good, because his creator has a whole lot of enemies …
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An amazing tale you can't help but love
- By LITRPG Audiobook Reviews on 08-29-18
By: Andrew Seiple
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Totally Brandon!!
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Val had returned from his latest tour of duty scarred in body and soul. Barely able to walk and drugged to the gills for pain, he thought his killing days were finally behind him. He couldn't have been more wrong. Endless Online, a hyper futuristic game where players could truly live another life...
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Yeah... uhhhhh.....no
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Such a fun story, kept me laughing out loud
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Absurd. Irreverent. A damn good time!
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beware of chi-crab
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God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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Funny
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Dominion of Blades
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For over 30 years, Dominion of Blades has been the hottest online role-playing game in the world. But the game is too real for some, and after an epidemic of real-life fatalities, public use of the immersion technology has been banned. Jonah wakes to find himself in-game, level one, with no memory of how he arrived and no way to eject. With only two companions, trapped in a world that once hosted millions, Jonah must battle his way across a treacherous landscape, fighting virtual monsters, all too real pain, and a very human enemy.
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Great LitRPG, ignore the negative reviews...
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The Land: Founding: A LitRPG Saga
- Chaos Seeds, Book 1
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Performance
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Story
Tricked into a world of banished gods, demons, goblins, sprites and magic, Richter must learn to meet the perils of The Land and begin to forge his own kingdom. Actions have consequences across The Land, with powerful creatures and factions now hell-bent on Richter's destruction. Can Richter forge allegiances to survive this harsh and unforgiving world or will he fall to the dark denizens of this ancient and unforgiving realm? A tale to shake "The Land" itself, measuring 10/10 on the Richter scale, how will Richter's choices shape the future of The Land and all who reside in it?
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A bit cringy
- By Jeremy Schultz on 03-13-18
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Dungeon Crawler Carl
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- By: Matt Dinniman
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A man. His ex-girlfriend's cat. A sadistic game show unlike anything in the universe: a dungeon crawl where survival depends on killing your prey in the most entertaining way possible. In a flash, every human-erected construction on Earth - from Buckingham Palace to the tiniest of sheds - collapses in a heap, sinking into the ground. The buildings and all the people inside have all been atomized and transformed into the dungeon: an 18-level labyrinth filled with traps, monsters, and loot.
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A refreshing take on apocalyptical LITRPG
- By Jason Baisden on 03-01-21
By: Matt Dinniman
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NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
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What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
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Enjoyable if you manage your expectations
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What listeners say about Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jonathan
- 06-26-19
A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
No really, laughing like the Joker in the grocery aisle makes people weird out
As a Canadian comedian Rick Blue puts it: "The trick is being able to speak the unspeakable and somehow get away with it." Mister Bevan is a master of this skill and if you have any appreciation for well-crafted lowbrow humor, then this book is for you.
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35 people found this helpful
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- John C
- 05-03-20
All I can say is, "WOW!"
Ok, maybe a little bit more than, "WOW!"
As a player of Dungeons and Dragons for 38 years, I knew I was going to enjoy this book series, and it did not disappoint.
What I didn't know is that the narrator would blow my mind.
I never heard a single book on audible with this kind of voice range. I thought there were multiple people narrating the book.
I will definitely be looking for more books read by this man.
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22 people found this helpful
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- Jeremy K. Soares
- 06-26-19
Amaze balls of a listen
If you like game night with friends and they happen to be crude and childish and make d;(k jokes that are funny and make you pee your pants a little this book is for you! Be careful about listening in public or around other people. Funny and a great value! Spend your monthly credit on this now! Why are you still reading? Just click it and enjoy.
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17 people found this helpful
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- CHRISTIOPHER
- 08-21-19
what a ride!
This series is OutFuckingStanding! I flew through books 1-4, and can’t wait for 5-7.
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15 people found this helpful
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- J. Clark
- 07-16-19
Lots of yikes
Facebook advertised the audiobook for Critical Failures/Caverns & Creatures 1-4 for me on Audible. I've had floating credits so I picked it up because it had high reviews for the basic "players enter the game" "but they curse and talk like me" thing.
I'm less than an hour in and so far 'Jew' and 'gay' have been used disparagingly, and 'f--' used casually, along with this gem:
Female character: "What's the difference between a halfling and a gnome?"
Male character: "An inch or two; your vagina will be the same size no matter which one you choose."
(this was three minutes in)
I cuss like a sailor, fuck is one of my favorite words, and I am not shy on vulgarity. This book tries to make backward language seem casual though. Fuck that.
Also the whole 'being put into the game for real' thing is because they (D&D players) are only put into the game as a punishment because they mercilessly bully the DM that they "put an ad out in the paper" for.
I'm also pretty sure there is some casual racism about one D&D race or another being inherently black but I had already started zoning out on the book that I didn't catch it.
This seems like weird fantasy-adjacent bro fulfillment. I'm not far in, but have seen so many instances of gross that 'giving it a chance' seems just really awful.
These are observations from just the first 40 minutes of a 32-hour listen. If it gets better, that would be surprising. I returned my copy.
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- Kody
- 08-21-19
Critical failures is great
A very funny twist on the sent to "a game world" trope. anyone who likes dnd or pathfinder and crude humor will love it
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- Jeffery
- 08-28-20
Don't listen to this if you are sensitve
This was a spoofy book in the light of Tosh 2.0, Monty Python's flying circus, and a super rude version of Blazing Saddles. The author poked at every raw nerve from child molesting, in the closet gay, racist, redneck police to super insecure white people who wondered if they were racist because they described someone as black. There is a LOT of F-bomb dropping. However, there is a story hidden in there that books 1-3 in this omnibus. This left me with hope that the author would make something of this book that was entertaining even if stupid like Sharknado or Ghost Busters. There is TONS of poop and fart humor. Some of it was LOL, but the author was leaning on this and many of the other weak elements so heavily by book four, that it became hard to listen to. If I find book 5 on sale, I'd probably buy it just to see if the author pulls this one out of the pooper. (You see what I did there? :) Anyway, I give books 1-3 three-stars, but book four two-stars. If you don't like 4th grade humor by college aged people or stupid-spoofy stories, stay away from this book. Oh, and I thought the narrator did a great job especially considering some of the stuff he had to read.
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- Eric D.
- 07-12-20
Whole lot of nope
Only 15 minutes in and I cant do it. Whether it's the narrator's annoying voice or just the poor writing.... I know, I havent even given it a chance, but I can already tell I wont like it. I am all for quality potty humor... but this is straight hot garbage. No thanks
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- azoth grayson
- 07-31-19
friend said I'd like it
I like the lvl of wrongness this series had to offer.. will be moving to the next adventure of set.
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- Izzy G.
- 07-15-20
Boys will be boys?
The gross and relaxed attitude the author has on middle schoolers being murdering rapist as boys will be boys is distracting and disgusting. He also tries to normalize rape as a means of reproduction. I mean, is this normal behavior or mentality male D and D players have? I play mtg and deal with that already, easily threatened male nerds live in these kind of delusions
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7 people found this helpful