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Cat Humor Book & Unicorns Are Jerks
- A Funny Poem Book For Kids: 2 in 1 Compilation Of Volume 1 & Volume 2 (Just Really Big Jerks Series)
- Narrated by: Kaitlin Ty Warren
- Length: 25 mins
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Publisher's Summary
You and your kids will laugh out loud at funny sound effects of these Jerk Unicorn Jokes, Jerk Cat Jokes and these funny Cat Pee Jerk Jokes. That's twice the fun!
Cat and Unicorn lovers will laugh out loud at the jerkiness of their rainbow color striped and furry friends with these curious and humorous unicorn and cat poems and rhymes. In this hilarious Funny Poem Audiobook For Kids compilation of tongue-twisting and rhyming poetry, Timmie watches cats and unicorns while they think nobody watches them and unlocks the poet in him.
Powered by his creative potential Timmie Guzzmann, the author of Cats Are Just Really Big Jerks! and Unicorns Are Just Really Big Jerks! explains the jerky and weird behavior and ignorance of cats and unicorns.
The poem collection in the audiobook perfectly captures the inner workings of the jerk unicorn and cat psyche.
The audiobook includes funny, hilarious and whimsical illustrations that reveal one horned horses and kitty cat's at their jerkiest moments.
Timmie opens the window of truth to shed light onto the most humorous and most daring jerk moments lived by these sparkly, rainbow colored, lazy, fickle, perky and pesky animals as they are going on about their day in a truly jerky way.
Timmie exposes true jerk personality and exposes some secrets that have never been told before.
Timmie takes a very refreshing approach (and you will laugh out loud!) and tells his rhyming story that is chock full of jerk personality, a jerkiness that really is out of this world (ootwjr AKA out of this world jerk reality!)
Let yourself be wowed and dive into a totally new genre of cat and unicorn jerkiness because you won't believe how these jerks are acting when they think nobody is watching them...
What listeners say about Cat Humor Book & Unicorns Are Jerks
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 288
In Embrace Your Weird, New York Times best-selling author, producer, actress, TV writer, and award-winning web series creator Felicia Day takes you on a journey to find, rekindle, or expand your creative passions. Whether you enjoy writing, baking, painting, podcasting, playing music, or have yet to uncover your favorite creative outlet, Embrace Your Weird will help you unlock the power of self-expression. Get motivated. Get creative. Get weird.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Embrace This Book!
- By Mark M. on 10-15-19
By: Felicia Day
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Adultolescence
- By: Gabbie Hanna
- Narrated by: Gabbie Hanna
- Length: 1 hr and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 616
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 546
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 549
Full of confessional, whimsical, and darkly humorous observations about life, love, and the early years of adulthood, this collection of over 150 poems will introduce you to the unique point of view of one of the Internet's most remarkable voices.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Blown Away
- By Erika Johnston on 10-28-17
By: Gabbie Hanna
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The Original Adventures of Hank the Cowdog
- By: John R. Erickson
- Narrated by: John R. Erickson
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,350
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,064
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,060
It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Guts, glory, danger, and sacrifice are all in a day's work for Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security. While investigating a murder on the ranch, Hank finds himself the number-one suspect.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hank: a timeless chuckle for families everywhere.
- By The Super-duper Amazing Silver Golem on 03-16-16
By: John R. Erickson
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Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life
- Booktrack Edition
- By: Chris Tebbetts, James Patterson
- Narrated by: Bryan Kennedy
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Story4 out of 5 stars 23
Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he's got an ace plan for the best year ever: to break every rule in his school's oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class: 5,000 points! Running in the hallway: 10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm: 50,000 points! But when Rafe's game starts to catch up with him, he'll have to decide if winning is all that matters or if he's finally ready to face the rules, bullies, and truths he's been avoiding.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The awesome book
- By Anonymous User on 09-13-20
By: Chris Tebbetts, and others
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This Is an AudioBook
- By: Demetri Martin
- Narrated by: Demetri Martin
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 144
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Story4 out of 5 stars 141
Demetri's first literary foray features longer-form essays and conceptual pieces (such as Protagonists' Hospital, a melodrama about the clinic doctors who treat only the flesh wounds and minor head scratches of Hollywood action heroes), as well as his trademark charts, doodles, drawings, one-liners, and lists (i.e., the world views of optimists, pessimists and contortionists), Martin's material is varied, but his unique voice and brilliant mind will keep listeners in stitches from beginning to end.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Some books just can't be audiobooks
- By Myles on 07-02-12
By: Demetri Martin
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The Fat Man
- A Tale of North Pole Noir
- By: Ken Harmon
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 100
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Story4 out of 5 stars 80
Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way, things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic Holiday Listen
- By PastorJim on 12-17-10
By: Ken Harmon
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Tenth of December
- Stories
- By: George Saunders
- Narrated by: George Saunders
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,667
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,485
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,491
One of the most important and blazingly original writers of his generation, George Saunders is an undisputed master of the short story, and Tenth of December is his most honest, accessible, and moving collection yet. In the taut opener, "Victory Lap", a boy witnesses the attempted abduction of the girl next door and is faced with a harrowing choice: Does he ignore what he sees, or override years of smothering advice from his parents and act? In "Home", a combat-damaged soldier moves back in with his mother and struggles to reconcile the world he left with the one to which he has returned.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Be prepared for something different...but good!
- By Mr. D on 02-21-14
By: George Saunders
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Unwrap My Heart
- Or, It's Time for Mummies
- By: Alex Falcone, Ezra Fox
- Narrated by: Sarah Hatheway
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 46
Sofia is just a normal high school girl, worried about getting her homework done and looking cool in the lunchroom, when he shows up: a devastatingly handsome new kid, mysteriously covered in decaying bandages, and staring at her from the empty holes where his eyes should be. She thinks he's just a hipster, but is there more to this handsome stranger than meets the eye? Yes. He's a mummy. We're not really making a secret about this. The twist is he's a mummy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Speed it up to 1.25 or more, and enjoy yourself!
- By Daggie Oh on 06-06-17
By: Alex Falcone, and others
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,200
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,013
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,019
The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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awesome book!!
- By Yessica Zamora on 04-13-22
By: Rob Reger
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Moving Day
- Allie Finkle's Rules for Girls, Book 1
- By: Meg Cabot
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 4 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
When nine-year-old Allie Finkle's parents announce that the family is moving, Allie's sure her life is over. She's not at all happy about having to give up her pretty pink wall-to-wall carpeting for creaky floorboards and creepy secret passageways. With a room she's half-scared to go into, the burden of being "the new girl", and her old friends all a half-hour car ride away, how will Allie ever learn to fit in?
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4 out of 5 stars
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I liked this, overall
- By MayWalser99 on 06-05-16
By: Meg Cabot
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How to Argue with a Cat
- A Human's Guide to the Art of Persuasion
- By: Jay Heinrichs
- Narrated by: Jay Heinrichs
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 134
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4 out of 5 stars 116
Cats are skilled manipulators who can talk you into just about anything without a single word. They can get you to drop whatever you're doing and play with them. They can make you serve their dinner way ahead of schedule. They can get you to sit down right this instant and provide a lap. On the other hand, try getting a cat to do what you want.... While it's hard, persuading a cat is possible. And after that, persuading humans becomes a breeze, and that is what you will learn in this audiobook.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and informational
- By Kelly D. on 08-01-18
By: Jay Heinrichs
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That Ghoul Ava
- Her First Adventures
- By: TW Brown
- Narrated by: Celia Aurora de Blas
- Length: 2 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 95
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 91
That Ghoul Ava: Her First Adventures gives you two entertainingly funny Ava tales. Relive the day she first joined the supernatural community and discover how her bond with the human Lisa Jenkins first began. Also meet regional Psychic, Morgan and the vampire that would get under Ava's skin from their first encounter in a 24 hour super market.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I want to be a Ghoul too!!!
- By Matthew on 08-24-16
By: TW Brown
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Dreamstate: A Conspiracy Theory (The Dreamstate Trilogy) (Volume 2)
- By: Jed McKenna
- Narrated by: Eric Vincent
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 90
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 78
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
If life is but a dream, to what do we awake? The central premise of this book is the admittedly ridiculous but incontrovertibly true assertion that the universe does not exist. This is something you can understand conceptually, like watching a documentary about Antarctica, or experientially, like moving to Antarctica. There's also a related phenomenon where you fall asleep watching the documentary and wake up in the frozen wasteland.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Jed does it to me again
- By Harold on 01-26-18
By: Jed McKenna
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Annabelle, the Reluctant Fart Fairy
- Forgotten Fairies, Book 1
- By: M T Lott
- Narrated by: Kat Marlowe
- Length: 1 hr and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story5 out of 5 stars 69
Annabelle, like all of her fairy friends, desperately wants to be a rose fairy when she grows up. But when things go horribly wrong at the Great Selecting ceremony, the fairy queen tells Annabelle she will have to spend the rest of her life as a fart fairy! As Annabelle's childhood friends distance themselves from her, Annabelle's family - especially her goofy brother, Fevrile - tell her everything will be all right. But, she knows better than to believe them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BOOK!!!
- By Annie The Audible Addict!!! on 07-22-15
By: M T Lott
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Wedgie & Gizmo
- By: Suzanne Selfors
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Maxwell Glick
- Length: 1 hr and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Story5 out of 5 stars 68
When a bouncy, barky dog and an evil genius guinea pig move into the same house, the laughs are nonstop! Wedgie is so excited, he can't stop barking. He LOVES having new siblings and friends to protect. He LOVES guinea pigs like Gizmo! He also LOVES treats! But Gizmo does not want to share his loyal human servant with a rump-sniffing beast! He does not want to live in a pink Barbie Playhouse. Or to be kissed and hugged by the girl human. Gizmo is an evil genius. He wants to take over the world and make all humans feel his wrath.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Cute story good for a family trip
- By MissSusie66 on 08-06-18
By: Suzanne Selfors
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Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers
- By: Benjamin Wallace
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers tackles the subjects that other baby audiobooks ignore: why you shouldn't touch the wand in the sonogram room; the exact moment your opinion no longer counts; how friends and family will respond to the news; how TV and baby classes have lied to us; which poop jokes to expect in the delivery room; how to convert diapers into usable guilt; how to insure your child says your name first; and much, much more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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absolutely amazing
- By steven on 02-22-19
By: Benjamin Wallace