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Carpet Diem
- Or...How to Save the World by Accident
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
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- Unabridged
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Afterlife...just some gothic nightclub where gossip is fuelled by the presence of a rich and unearthly, handsome family or afterlife...the strange place where time seems to stand still and guests feel the presence of something more powerful held within the confines of the VIP. Keira is new to this small, cold town and is running from a past that seems to feast on her darkest memories. She finds living with her sister away from English soil to be just the ticket to the new life she is trying desperately to find.
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It is a good book yet it is NOT in many ways
- By Lexi on 11-29-16
By: Stephanie Hudson
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A Girl's Guide to Vampires
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
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Overall
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Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters: Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker. Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire. No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better....
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Female lead too stupid to live
- By Jessica on 02-04-13
By: Katie MacAlister
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Halo
- Halo Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Alexandra Adornetto
- Narrated by: Alexandra Adornetto
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Three angels - Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human - are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments. Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them.
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Love Conquers All... Twilight for Christian teens
- By Wrightaway on 10-18-10
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Drake
- The Burned Man, Book 1
- By: Peter McLean
- Narrated by: Mark Meadows
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hitman Don Drake owes a gambling debt to a demon. Forced to carry out one more assassination to clear his debt, Don unwittingly kills an innocent child and brings the Furies of Greek myth down upon himself. Rescued by an almost fallen angel called Trixie, Don and his magical accomplice - the Burned Man, an imprisoned archdemon - are forced to deal with Lucifer himself whilst battling a powerful evil magician.
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Excellent story with character development!
- By Ketil on 11-21-16
By: Peter McLean
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The Christmas Secret
- By: Karen Swan
- Narrated by: Laura Main
- Length: 15 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Alex Hyde is the leaders' leader. An executive coach par excellence, she's the person the great and the good turn to when the pressure gets too much; she can change the way they think, how they operate, she can turn around the very fortunes of their companies.
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Was the narrator Nurse Turner?
- By Sally on 12-24-17
By: Karen Swan
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Blood Song
- Blood Singer, Book 1
- By: Cat Adams
- Narrated by: Arika Escalona
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Bodyguard Celia Graves has definitely accepted her share of weird assignments, both human and supernatural. But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed. Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead.
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Blood Song
- By Andrew on 05-15-12
By: Cat Adams
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Rosemary and Rue
- An October Daye Novel, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The world of Faerie never disappeared: it merely went into hiding, continuing to exist parallel to our own. Secrecy is the key to Faerie’s survival—but no secret can be kept forever, and when the fae and mortal worlds collide, changelings are born. Half-human, half-fae, outsiders from birth, these second-class children of Faerie spend their lives fighting for the respect of their immortal relations.
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Missed Matched Pair
- By G Reinhardt on 11-26-11
By: Seanan McGuire
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The Faerie Guardian
- Creepy Hollow Series, Book 1
- By: Rachel Morgan
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie, Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Protecting humans from dangerous magical creatures is all in a day's work for a faerie training to be a guardian. Seventeen-year-old Violet Fairdale knows this better than anyone - she's about to become the best guardian the Guild has seen in years. That is until a cute human boy who can somehow see through her faerie glamour follows her into the fae realm. Now she's broken Guild Law, a crime that could lead to her expulsion.
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Charming YA Fantasy
- By J.E. Johnson on 06-03-15
By: Rachel Morgan
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What My Best Friend Did
- By: Lucy Dawson
- Narrated by: Georgia Maguire
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Alice's life has become a bit boring lately. Her friends are busy getting married and having babies, but she's not ready for those changes in her own life - not even sure she still loves her boyfriend. Then she meets Gretchen. A brand-new, fun and unencumbered friend. Gretchen knows how to have a good time, and she also has a totally gorgeous brother. Before she knows it, Alice has been swept up into her new best friend's world. But Gretchen has a dark secret. Will Alice learn the truth before she throws her old life away?
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hmm
- By Claire Lieber on 03-11-19
By: Lucy Dawson
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The Forgotten Village
- By: Lorna Cook
- Narrated by: Beth Eyre
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
1943: the world is at war, and the villagers of Tyneham are being asked to make one more sacrifice: to give their homes over to the British army. But on the eve of their departure, a terrible act will cause three of them to disappear forever. 2018: Melissa had hoped a break on the coast of Dorset would rekindle her stagnant relationship, but despite the idyllic scenery, it’s pushing her and Liam to the brink.
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Ridiculous
- By christina on 06-06-23
By: Lorna Cook
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Beneath a Blood Red Moon
- The Alliance Vampires, Book 1
- By: Heather Graham
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than a century, Maggie Montgomery has hidden her true nature from the humans around her. But when Lieutenant Sean Canady follows a trail of blood from a drained corpse to the door of her New Orleans boutique, the ethereal beauty realizes the comfortable life she’s made for herself is once again in danger.... Despite her fears that her secrets are no longer safe, it’s the past that could ultimately be Maggie’s undoing. Sean Canady, a Civil War hero, was the love of her life.
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Somewhat disappointing...
- By karen on 05-08-14
By: Heather Graham
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Closing In
- By: Sue Fortin
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Hopper
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Helen has had to leave everything she's ever known behind: her home, her family, even her own name. Now, returning to the UK as Ellen Newman, she moves to a small coastal village, working as a nanny for Donovan, a criminal psychologist. Attractive, caring and protective, this single father and his sweet daughter are a world away from Ellen's brutal past. But Ellen can't shake the feeling that something's wrong.
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Really sad a woman wrote this
- By Mariel on 06-23-17
By: Sue Fortin
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Author Joy Ellis knows how to build suspense!
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NOT A NOVELIZATION OF THE MOVIE!!
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College student Melody Gage is craving a night of no-strings fun when she meets charming out-of-towner Jeremy, and that's exactly what she gets. Until three years later, when Melody relocates to Los Angeles and finds herself thrust back into Jeremy's orbit. Not only does her hunky one-night stand work at the same aerospace company where she's just started her dream job, he's the CEO's son. Jeremy's got a girlfriend and a reputation as a bad boy, so Melody resolves to keep her distance. Despite her good intentions, a series of awkward circumstances throw her together with the heavenly-smelling paragon of hotness.
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Double Whammy
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A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
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Not for dog lovers
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Florida Roadkill
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Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
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What listeners say about Carpet Diem
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- Jasmine Wahlberg
- 12-20-17
What the heck did I just read?
Some mild spoilers ahead.
I thought the concept of this book was pretty funny. The writing has a fair bit of humor, too.
The problem is that the plot makes less than no sense whatsoever. Yes, sure, the basic silly plot is fine, with this one object owned by this hapless fellow being the key item in a bet between divinities, but the rest? Absolute and utter nonsense.
The reader is introduced to a cavalcade of bizarrely random characters, random superpowers, random sidequests, and random decisions. Most of the actual meat of the story doesn't actually involve the rug whatsoever -- it's that the main character and his party get sent on a fetch quest where they pick up a whole bunch of randoms on the way, too. It's sort of like a Final Fantasy story, except it makes even less sense.
Okay, though, I love Final Fantasy -- I want to be clear. But let's admit that "hurry, or The Big Bad is going to end the world by the next full moon!....but first let's grind out some levels and farm some gold and help Farmer Dan rid his chicken coop of goblins" is something that should strictly be reserved for RPGs, and doesn't make a very tight novel. The entire story is mostly a completely unrelated and random-sounding side quest.
The characterization is also sort of inconsistent. When the character that seems most developed is the unrepentantly drunk pensioner running around in the body of a 25-year-old, that's not a good sign. Also, the end is a pretty blatant expository round-up in case you missed how clever the rest of the story was.
It's not a bad book. I still listened to the whole thing, and I enjoyed some parts of it. But it did take me a long time to get through, and it isn't even that long. The plot is just entirely off the rails and doesn't make for the most cohesive story. I felt like I was listening to someone satirize another story that I hadn't read.
The performance was good, though. The narrator did well with the occasional crisp bits of humor (some have said it is Douglas Adams-esque, and I can see that -- in brief glimmers, anyway) and the voices.
I am really quite sorry I can't give a more positive review. I don't consider my time wasted listening to it, but it wouldn't entice me to read any more from this author as it stands.
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12 people found this helpful
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- Varying Degrees Of Right
- 07-31-18
Didn’t expect to love it
I initially bought this audiobook based solely on the sample of the narrator’s performance (which holds up throughout the book), but genuinely had no expectations for liking the story.
I was immediately wrong.
The witty humor had me stifling giggles in public - note that I am 38 years old - and the premise had completely grabbed me by the end of Chapter 2. Normally an avid serial TV watcher, I found myself spending the whole night with my headphones in and my TV off. I have found a new favorite narrator, for certain, and surprisingly stumbled across a new favorite author.
If you are a fan of silly but intelligent humor mixed with a touch of fantasy & the ridiculous, similar to Dirk Gently or Hitchhiker’s Guide by Douglas Adams, please give this book a try. Surprisingly awesome.
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5 people found this helpful
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- John Williams
- 03-05-17
Enjoyable ride
I quite enjoyed this absurdist comedy. The story is satisfying and the humor will bring a smile to your face. The story circles around a man who has absented himself from society until one day an angel and a demon show up on his door step demanding he pick one to give his living room carpet to and thus decide the fate of the world. After that, the story starts to get strange. This wont be your book of the year, but it is fun.
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- L. Bailey
- 05-26-19
Engrossing. Fun. Heartening.
The premise is ridiculous and surprising and yet thoroughly enjoyable. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the characters more and more as I listened. The performance was excellent and I felt the difference in characters speaking without making the narration weird or silly. couldn't stop listening.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-11-17
Enjoyable and light hearted
A merry light reading, although a bit juvenile. some parts could have been written by a raunchy hormone fueled teenager. Very well performed
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- m reed
- 05-01-19
Excellent!
Except for the terrible southern and Cajun accents. Somebody should have caught that. But very fun story with twists and overall good voice performance!
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-13-17
not bad, but not great
This book is like Douglas Adams trying to wrote like Neil Gaiman. It was a decent book, but fell short in a lot of ways. Unfortunate, really, the potential was totally there.
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- Anonymous User
- 06-06-23
Hilarious
Light hearted and funny.
This is a great listen/read of you need a laugh.
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- CK
- 02-15-23
Light, funny and very entertaining
I’m actually disappointed to be finished with it. I’ve been listening to and reading a lot of darker material lately and really needed something light and entertaining. Carpet Diem was perfect. Kept me chuckling and held my interest.
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- Hannah
- 03-17-19
Imaginative and funny
Wonderful story. Engaging, and paints a great picture in the telling my only complaint is the profanity. I laughed while doing chores or other tedious things with the story keeping my mind occupied. Much ado about a carpet. Loved it.
I am a serious fan of books that are god logic themed so very funny. Immortals, prophets, chosen ones, it is all funny to me.
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