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Carpet Diem  By  cover art

Carpet Diem

By: Justin Lee Anderson
Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
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Publisher's summary

Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.

When mysteriously well-timed carpet thieves deprive him of the crucial heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit's existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches, and immortals.

And then it gets complicated.

©2015 Justin Lee Anderson (P)2017 Tantor

Critic reviews

"I laughed, I cried, I bought a fireside rug!" (Ian Pattison, creator of Rab C Nesbitt)

What listeners say about Carpet Diem

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

What the heck did I just read?

Some mild spoilers ahead.

I thought the concept of this book was pretty funny. The writing has a fair bit of humor, too.

The problem is that the plot makes less than no sense whatsoever. Yes, sure, the basic silly plot is fine, with this one object owned by this hapless fellow being the key item in a bet between divinities, but the rest? Absolute and utter nonsense.

The reader is introduced to a cavalcade of bizarrely random characters, random superpowers, random sidequests, and random decisions. Most of the actual meat of the story doesn't actually involve the rug whatsoever -- it's that the main character and his party get sent on a fetch quest where they pick up a whole bunch of randoms on the way, too. It's sort of like a Final Fantasy story, except it makes even less sense.

Okay, though, I love Final Fantasy -- I want to be clear. But let's admit that "hurry, or The Big Bad is going to end the world by the next full moon!....but first let's grind out some levels and farm some gold and help Farmer Dan rid his chicken coop of goblins" is something that should strictly be reserved for RPGs, and doesn't make a very tight novel. The entire story is mostly a completely unrelated and random-sounding side quest.

The characterization is also sort of inconsistent. When the character that seems most developed is the unrepentantly drunk pensioner running around in the body of a 25-year-old, that's not a good sign. Also, the end is a pretty blatant expository round-up in case you missed how clever the rest of the story was.

It's not a bad book. I still listened to the whole thing, and I enjoyed some parts of it. But it did take me a long time to get through, and it isn't even that long. The plot is just entirely off the rails and doesn't make for the most cohesive story. I felt like I was listening to someone satirize another story that I hadn't read.

The performance was good, though. The narrator did well with the occasional crisp bits of humor (some have said it is Douglas Adams-esque, and I can see that -- in brief glimmers, anyway) and the voices.

I am really quite sorry I can't give a more positive review. I don't consider my time wasted listening to it, but it wouldn't entice me to read any more from this author as it stands.

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12 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Didn’t expect to love it

I initially bought this audiobook based solely on the sample of the narrator’s performance (which holds up throughout the book), but genuinely had no expectations for liking the story.

I was immediately wrong.

The witty humor had me stifling giggles in public - note that I am 38 years old - and the premise had completely grabbed me by the end of Chapter 2. Normally an avid serial TV watcher, I found myself spending the whole night with my headphones in and my TV off. I have found a new favorite narrator, for certain, and surprisingly stumbled across a new favorite author.

If you are a fan of silly but intelligent humor mixed with a touch of fantasy & the ridiculous, similar to Dirk Gently or Hitchhiker’s Guide by Douglas Adams, please give this book a try. Surprisingly awesome.

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5 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Enjoyable ride

I quite enjoyed this absurdist comedy. The story is satisfying and the humor will bring a smile to your face. The story circles around a man who has absented himself from society until one day an angel and a demon show up on his door step demanding he pick one to give his living room carpet to and thus decide the fate of the world. After that, the story starts to get strange. This wont be your book of the year, but it is fun.

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4 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Engrossing. Fun. Heartening.

The premise is ridiculous and surprising and yet thoroughly enjoyable. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the characters more and more as I listened. The performance was excellent and I felt the difference in characters speaking without making the narration weird or silly. couldn't stop listening.

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3 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Enjoyable and light hearted

A merry light reading, although a bit juvenile. some parts could have been written by a raunchy hormone fueled teenager. Very well performed

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Excellent!

Except for the terrible southern and Cajun accents. Somebody should have caught that. But very fun story with twists and overall good voice performance!

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2 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

not bad, but not great

This book is like Douglas Adams trying to wrote like Neil Gaiman. It was a decent book, but fell short in a lot of ways. Unfortunate, really, the potential was totally there.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious

Light hearted and funny.
This is a great listen/read of you need a laugh.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • CK
  • 02-15-23

Light, funny and very entertaining

I’m actually disappointed to be finished with it. I’ve been listening to and reading a lot of darker material lately and really needed something light and entertaining. Carpet Diem was perfect. Kept me chuckling and held my interest.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Imaginative and funny

Wonderful story. Engaging, and paints a great picture in the telling my only complaint is the profanity. I laughed while doing chores or other tedious things with the story keeping my mind occupied. Much ado about a carpet. Loved it.
I am a serious fan of books that are god logic themed so very funny. Immortals, prophets, chosen ones, it is all funny to me.

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1 person found this helpful