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Calm the F**k Down
- Narrated by: Sarah Knight
- Length: 4 hrs and 32 mins
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Publisher's summary
The latest no-f**ks-given guide from New York Times best-selling author of the international sensation The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, Get Your Sh*t Together and You Do You.
Do you waste time overthinking things you can't do anything about?
Do you freak out when things don't go to plan?
Does anxiety get in the way of you living your best life?
When life hands you a big fat f**king lemon, Calm the F**k Down gives you practical ways to manage the situation, not to mention your anxiety about the situation. One hundred percent practical and 0 percent Pollyanna-ish, this is a book that acknowledges all the bad shit that can and probably will happen to you - from breakups and breakdowns to floods, family feuds and France running out of butter - and shows you what you can realistically do about it so you can get on with your life, stop worrying and wallowing and start bouncing back.
Think of Calm the F**k Down as the friend who, instead of reassuring you that 'everything's going to be okay', actually shows you how to make it so.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 410
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 367
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 363
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 360
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 322
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Story4 out of 5 stars 319
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,159
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,048
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,044
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Stop Saying You're Fine
- Discover a More Powerful You
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,607
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,364
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,364
Right now, over 100 million Americans secretly feel frustrated and bored with their lives. If you've come to regard yourself as your own worst enemy; if you constantly daydream and wonder, "Is this all there is?"; if you have a tendency, when asked how you're doing, to just say "Fine," you may be one of them. If this sounds familiar, there's clearly something missing from your life. This book will help you discover what it is, and how to win it back.
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3 out of 5 stars
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STOP and buy The Five Second Rule instead.
- By Ryan Healey on 07-19-17
By: Mel Robbins
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What Matters Most
- The Get Your Sh*t Together Guide to Wills, Money, Insurance, and Life's "What-Ifs"
- By: Chanel Reynolds
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 26
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
Founder of popular website Get Your Shit Together blends personal stories and must-have advice in the ultimate guide to getting your affairs in order - from wills and advance directives to insurance, finances, and relationships - before the unthinkable happens.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A powerful peek at the face of tragedy that unavoidably will find us all.
- By K. Stephan on 04-28-19
By: Chanel Reynolds
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The Journal of Best Practices
- A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband
- By: David Finch
- Narrated by: David Finch
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 731
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 655
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 654
At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, "What is wrong with my husband?!" In David Finch's case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David's ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn't make him any easier to live with.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I wish I had read this many years ago
- By Patrick on 05-02-12
By: David Finch
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A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend
- By: Felicity Huffman, Patricia Wolff
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 4 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 118
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 46
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
Most dating books are written for women - what a mistake that is. Women know how to date....It's men who need the help! At last: a blithe, bold, and bawdy guide to building a better boyfriend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Can't Stop Laughing
- By Marshall on 06-13-07
By: Felicity Huffman, and others
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,710
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,515
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,507
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Cat Daddy
- What the World's Most Incorrigible Cat Taught Me About Life, Love, and Coming Clean
- By: Jackson Galaxy, Joel Derfner
- Narrated by: Jackson Galaxy
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,097
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,010
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,010
In this book, Galaxy tells the poignant story of his 13-year relationship with a petite gray-and-white short-haired cat named Benny, and gives singular advice for living with, caring for, and loving the feline in your home. When Benny arrived in his life, Galaxy was a down-and-out rock musician with not too much more going on than a part-time job at an animal shelter and a drug problem. Benny's previous owner brought the cat to the shelter in a cardboard box to give him up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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10 Stars!!!
- By Dawn J on 12-04-12
By: Jackson Galaxy, and others
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F**k It Therapy
- By: John C Parkin
- Narrated by: John C Parkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 56
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Story4 out of 5 stars 58
If every therapist and psychotherapist on the planet could repeat this to their clients, like a mantra, again and again, there would be fewer therapists and psychotherapists. Because it works. Very quickly. Realising that what you're worrying about and stressing over doesn't really matter so much in the grand scheme of things is the door to freedom and healing. And the little profanity 'F**k It' is the key to that door.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Arrogant, dangerous New-Age blabbering
- By Mikkel on 01-14-17
By: John C Parkin
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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4 out of 5 stars
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 418
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 256
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 256
At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
- And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Story4 out of 5 stars 68
In busy-mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old - you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor").
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3 out of 5 stars
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Ok, nothing amazing
- By Lklns on 03-14-19
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,194
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,066
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,067
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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3 out of 5 stars
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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The Nerdist Way
- How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)
- By: Chris Hardwick
- Narrated by: Chris Hardwick
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,097
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,929
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,921
Nerds: Once a tormented subrace of humans... Now captains of industry! You don’t have to be a stereotypical geekwad to appreciate the tenets of Nerdism and to make your innate talents for overanalysis and hyper-self-awareness work for you instead of against you. Join Nerd superstar Chris Hardwick as he offers his fellow “creative-obsessives” the crucial information needed to come out on top in the current Nerd uprising. Success is the most satisfying - and legal - form of vengeance there is. And you can achieve it when you follow the Nerdist Way,
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5 out of 5 stars
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I'm a disciple of The Nerdist Way!!
- By Heather on 07-02-14
By: Chris Hardwick
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How to Host a Viking Funeral
- The Case for Burning Your Regrets, Chasing Your Crazy Ideas, and Becoming the Person You're Meant to Be
- By: Kyle Scheele
- Narrated by: Kyle Scheele
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 76
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 71
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Story5 out of 5 stars 71
Turning 30, artist and speaker Kyle Scheele wanted to do something unusual to mark this milestone. Instead of a birthday bash, he decided to hold a funeral to memorialize the decade of his life that was ending. Building a 16-foot Viking ship out of cardboard, he invited friends to help him set it on fire—a symbolic farewell to his 20s and all the grief, regret, and mistakes that accompanied those years.
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2 out of 5 stars
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underwhelming
- By Amazon Customer on 12-11-22
By: Kyle Scheele
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Familyhood
- By: Paul Reiser
- Narrated by: Paul Reiser
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 86
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4 out of 5 stars 68
In Familyhood, Reiser shares his observations on parenting, marriage, and mid-life with the wit, warmth, and humor that he’s so well-known for. From the first experience of sending his two boys off to summer camp to maneuvering the minefield of bad words learned at school, this hilarious new book captures the spirit of familyhood, the logical next frontier for Reiser’s trademark perspective on the universal truths of life, love, and relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Witty and warm, a pleasurable read
- By Frank on 06-03-11
By: Paul Reiser
What listeners say about Calm the F**k Down
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- ojdewet
- 03-14-19
A totall miss for me
This is probably the most annoying audiobook I have ever listened to and the first one I choose not to finish. What started as slightly funny humour became terribly annoying and the writing style is crass. The constant promotion of next books rather than focusing on making this one work it tacky. Definitely a miss for me.
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