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Publisher's Summary

After a lifetime of being bullied, Daelyn is broken beyond repair. She has tried to kill herself before, and is determined to get it right this time. Though her parents think they can protect her, she finds a Web site for "completers" that seems made just for her. She blogs on its forums, purging her harrowing history. At her private Catholic school, the only person who interacts with her is a boy named Santana. No matter how poorly she treats him, he just won’t leave her alone. And it's too late for Daelyn to be letting people into her life...isn’t it?

In this harrowing, compelling novel, Julie Anne Peters shines a light on what might make a teenager want to kill herself, as well as how she might start to bring herself back from the edge. A discussion guide and resource list prepared by "bullycide" expert C. J. Bott are included in the back matter.

©2010 Julie Anne Peters (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

a lot of build up to nothing

The story was good until the last 3 chapters when I realized I just wasted my time because it felt incomplete, it felt like the author got tired of writing at the end and just gave up on the story.
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1 person found this helpful

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Pitch perfect

Grade: A+

Daelyn, depressed and damaged after years of bullying and several attempts to end her life, finds a website for suicidal people to plan and execute their demise. She's unable to speak and barely communicates with her parents, doctors and classmates. She meets a talkative, quirky boy, determined to break through her stoic exterior, to be her friend. But all Daelyn can't allow herself to get close, not when she's supposed to be disengaging from people to make her suicide easier.

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD is heartbreaking, breathtaking look inside the mind of an extremely depressed teenage girl. Daelyn's parents love her, but they're ineffectual when relating and understanding her pain from the time she was a young child. She probably should have been in therapy from a very young age, but her parents didn't realize the depth of her self-loathing and inner torment. Daelyn was never honest about the depth of the bullying she experienced. A perfectly imperfect storm.

Daelyn was so full of despair, she was unable to see the impact of her often cold behavior on her parents and those who tried to befriend her. I found her easy to root for, even though she stopped rooting for herself. I wanted to take her back in time and urge her to tell on the bullies and abusers, to show her she was worth more than the way others treated her.

Santana proved to be the Yang to Daelyn's Yin. He embraced life with gusto and vigor and wouldn't let go of his desire to befriend her. His approach was so genteel and nonthreatening that she wasn't scared away.

Some readers may find BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD depressing and dark, but Julie Ann Peters did a great job tempering Daelyn's despair with a subtly sarcastic, engaging voice. As I reader I had the hope Daelyn lacked. Just like life, there are no easy answers in this novel. Peters avoids the clichéd ending of easy answers, sunshine and rainbows.

THEMES: depression, suicide, bullying, family

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD is an unconventional story of a teen contemplating suicide.

ETA: The audiobook was extremely well-narrated.

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Raw, unnerving and funny

If you’ve even dealt with bullying or sexual assault, if you’ve ever been fat, teased, taunted or insulted this book will make you hurt. It will rip open old wounds and make you ant to scream. If you have children, it will make you want to grab them, wrap them in bubble wrap and lock them indoors. I think parent and young children alike should read this, parents so they’re not so oblivious and children so they understand to speak up, defend themselves and that it doesn’t last forever and that school is the lease important part of your life socially. And that it does get better. The needing however might piss some people off. It an unresolved cliff hanger. Not my favorite type of book.

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  • Kindle Kid
  • 01-22-14

No Words For Feels.

Would you listen to By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead again? Why?

Yes, there is so much going on it benefits from multiple reads.

What did you like best about this story?

The characters, the realistic approach to teenage suicide and depression.

Have you listened to any of Kathryn Merry’s other performances? How does this one compare?

I have not.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

All of it.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-20-20

All kind of emotions

This book will leave you feeling all kind of emotions, at some points I laughed, and some points I cried, definitely worth the read however I have to say I was a little disappointed by the ending.

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  • jason
  • 04-02-17

Thought provoking

The believable narration draws you in to the very heart a beautiful written heart breaking story, her best yet.