Difficult Conversations

How to Discuss What Matters Most

By: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen

Narrated by: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen

Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins

Publisher's summary

Dealing with your ex-husband, who can't seem to show up reliably for weekends with the kids; navigating a workplace fraught with office politics or racial tensions; saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you."

We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things don't go well. Should you say what you're thinking and risk starting a fight? Swallow your views and feel like a doormat? Or should you let them have it? But - what if you're wrong?

Difficult Conversations shows you a way out of this dilemma; it teaches you how to handle even the toughest conversations more effectively and with less anxiety. Based on 15 years of work at Harvard Negotiation Project and consultations with thousands of people, the authors answer the question: When people confront the conversations they dread the most, what works?

Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds.

Whether you're dealing with your baby-sitter or biggest client, your boss or your brother-in-law, Difficult Conversations can help.

©1999 Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (P)1999 Random House, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Critic reviews

“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.” (The New York Times)

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.” (Booklist)

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.” (Tom Peters)

Excellent content, poor naration

The ideas presented and the examples given are very useful. But the naration, particularly by one of the authors, is aweful. His voice drives me crazy and at times is hard to hear. I would be able to concentrate much more on the content if it was done right. I'm a little more than halfway through and may actually have to stop. After listening to over a dozen books, I can honestly say that the naration on this one is significantly worse than anything I have heard. So 5 stars on content, 0 on naration.

Everyone should listen to this book

Anyone who is going to have a conversation with anyone should listen to this book

Excellent and very informative

Interesting subject, loads of good examples and pleasant narrators. I really enjoyed this book and got a lot of new perspectives in how to have difficult conversations and also how to be a better listener - in all kinds of situations. I would recommend this book to everyone!

Excellent book

This book helped me understand the importance of building an strategy before confronting a difficult conversation. Well narrated, excellent examples, too bad I was not available in unabridged version.

Great lessons

This is a great set of lessons with real life examples on how to deal with difficult conversations. I now use these steps in my every day life and it has already made a difference to my difficult conversations.

A smart, educational way to look at conversations

I found this audio to provide me with a completely new way to look at how people communicate with one another.

The audio breaks down conversations into three distinct areas and how each contribute to success (or failure) of effectively communicating with another person.

I have used the techniques in this audio daily in my conversations and have been amazed at how much more I have learned about my friends, family and co-workers.

This Audio is the 1999 Version, Not 2010

This is an excellent audiobook. My only real complaint is that since it's the earlier version. It is missing nearly 80 pages of material, and nearly a quarter of the paragraphs have been significantly rewritten.

Great tool to have

You will learn many useful things which will help you either to change the way you start your conversation on touchy subjects or at least understand and analyze why tough conversation are going where they usually go.

I had trouble with this book even though.

the content has great, the examples where good but I struggled because of the narration. I appreciate that it's not easy to read aloud...in fact it's hard enuff that a professional is required for a book to really reach it's full potential.

Very good, tremendous nuggets of information.

This book needs to be on everyone’s list for self help and understanding other people.