• Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition

  • When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
  • By: John Townsend, Henry Cloud
  • Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
  • Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (7,285 ratings)

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Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition  By  cover art

Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition

By: John Townsend, Henry Cloud
Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
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Publisher's summary

Boundaries is the book that's helped more than four million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.

In the New York Times best seller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
  • How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
  • Aren’t boundaries selfish?

You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!

Plus, check out the Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.

©2008 Henry Cloud (P)2017 Zondervan

Featured Article: The Best Spiritual Audiobooks for Finding Fulfillment


In our everyday lives, we are obliged to continually juggle a long list of priorities: advancing our career, taking care of our family, keeping in touch with friends, staying active in our community, and tending to our physical health. With such a litany of concerns, it can be difficult to find time to work on our spiritual lives. Since there's no perfect time, why not simply take a breath and begin to focus on nurturing your soul and spirit?

What listeners say about Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Wonderful but should probably mention religion or the Bible in title

This is a great book. All the information, examples, and strategies related to boundaries was wonderful! I wish I learned this earlier! It’s helped me so much already, and will continue to help me be more responsible and healthier in my relationships, work, home life, and health. Psychologically sound, with lots of insight and practical wisdom. I’m not religious and at first was a little turned off by all the biblical references, but they were presented very well and from a rational and helpful perspective. No shaming, blaming, guilt, or judgment. I enjoyed learning about the Bible from this positive perspective.

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281 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Lots of biblical references

LOTS of biblical references which may be a deal breaker for some and often would be for me but in this case it was fine which just goes to show what a well written book it was and what a great message!

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153 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Learned a lot - don’t know what you don’t know

Very encouraging and convicting read. Definitely have to have an open mind. We don’t know what we don’t know. This helps address bad thinking and personal boundary setting for oneself and with others. Opened my eyes to areas in my life that I thought were normal issues that I would just live with. Now I know I can address them and improve. This book provides tangible, step by step ways to address boundaries and setting new ones.

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75 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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LIFE CHANGING

I would recommend this book to all Christians and non-Christians alike. This book details concrete examples of boundaries and why they are so important. By the end it gives you the steps you will need to implement boundaries and live a healthy non-destructive lifestyle. This book will help you identify what might be holding you back. I never expected to feel so great about a book. I have since gifted this book to 5 people 😀

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69 people found this helpful

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Legitimately changed my life

I read the first 7 chapters 6 years ago, and it radically changed the way that I did life. 7 years later I came back and listened to the whole thing, and had the same experience. This book gave me the courage to say no. And to know when to say yes. I have shared this book with more people than I can count. And whenever they follow through with reading it, I hear the same thing “This book changed my life.”

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58 people found this helpful

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This book will help you reflect

I do not subscribe to a religion but the principles in this book are universal

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44 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

abuse victims be wary

I got a lot out of the beginning of the book, the educational portion that spoke of the different types of control and controlling people. Where I struggled was with the seemingly underlying tone throughout this book that the abuse victim has the ability to change the circumstances of abuse by creating good boundaries and that the abused is partially to blame for not having healthy boundaries.

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22 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Okay, but not very practical and very Biblical

This book quotes the Bible like it’s empirical evidence. It’s my fault for not reading more about the book description. If you’re looking for practical guidelines and a more psychological-based approach as I was, I’d skip this book.

The audio version has a typical narrator, who I didn’t find very engaging.

The author has great stories, with very specific, relatable situations, but then he goes into a lecture, quoting Bible verses along the way as his “evidence” that his suggestion is the right one. He has some cool concepts, but overall I stopped listening after 2 hours because I want truly empirical studies and methods for this topic.

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20 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Good book, but the reader...

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

The narrator seemed to run on. It felt like he did not give enough time between sentences and thoughts in the book. Like maybe he was rushing through it.

Any additional comments?

I do wish the book had a few more examples that are based on what the people actually did. There were a few but, I felt the book could use a few more to show the reader/ listener how and why the person came to the boundary. A little more explanation on understanding how to set appropriate boundaries too. I really enjoyed the biblical context showing that if you can parse it, The Bible is an instruction manual to life. I will definitely be listing to this book several more times!

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18 people found this helpful

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Life changing

There was nothing in this book that I didn’t like. It has opened my eyes and giving me insight and understanding of why my life is such a mess. I’ve been incorporating boundaries in my life and it is amazing how much better my life is becoming. Still a work in progress but this gives me so much hope for a better life.

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16 people found this helpful