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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
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great information
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Groundbreaking
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Good book, horrendous narration
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A groundbreaking book that boldly claims the key to success in business is not talent, connections, or ideas, but the ability to persuade people to take a chance on potential.
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I like it
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Publisher's summary
From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
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Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
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WHY Do They Act That Way?
- A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen
- By: David Walsh, Nat Bennett
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Even smart kids do stupid things. It's a simple fact of life. No one makes it through the teenage years unscathed - not the teens and not their parents. But now there's expert help for both generations in this groundbreaking new guide for surviving the drama of adolescence. In WHY Do They Act That Way? nationally renowned, award-winning psychologist Dr. David Walsh explains exactly what happens to the human brain on the path from childhood into adolescence and adulthood.
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LOVE!!
- By Amazon Customer on 05-11-23
By: David Walsh, and others
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The Self Illusion
- Why There Is No "You" Inside Your Head
- By: Bruce Hood
- Narrated by: Bruce Hood
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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The Self Illusion provides a fascinating examination of how the latest science shows that our individual concept of a self is in fact an illusion. Most of us believe that we possess a self - an internal individual who resides inside our bodies, making decisions, authoring actions and possessing free will. The feeling that a single, unified, enduring self inhabits the body is compelling and inescapable. But that sovereignty of the self is increasingly under threat from science as our understanding of the brain advances.
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Disappointing
- By David R Pinsof on 05-10-12
By: Bruce Hood
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Age of Opportunity
- Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence
- By: Laurence Steinberg Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Adolescence now lasts longer than ever before. And as world-renowned expert on adolescent psychology Dr. Laurence Steinberg argues, this makes these years the key period in determining individuals’ life outcomes, demanding that we change the way we parent, educate, and understand young people.
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if you think you know, think again
- By Dk on 12-11-14
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Back to Normal
- Why Ordinary Childhood Behavior Is Mistaken for ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Autism Spectrum Disorder
- By: Enrico Gnaulati
- Narrated by: Matthew Kugler
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A veteran clinical psychologist exposes why doctors, teachers, and parents incorrectly diagnose healthy American children with serious psychiatric conditions. In recent years there has been an alarming rise in the number of American children and youth assigned a mental health diagnosis. Current data from the Centers for Disease Control reveal a 41 percent increase in rates of ADHD diagnoses over the past decade and a forty-fold spike in bipolar disorder diagnoses. Similarly, diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder has increased by 78 percent since 2002.
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surprisingly useful and specific
- By SaturdayDad on 03-07-14
By: Enrico Gnaulati
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The Attachment Effect
- Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives
- By: Peter Lovenheim
- Narrated by: Graham Winton
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Attachment theory is having a moment. Recently covered in the New York Times Magazine, New York magazine, and elsewhere, it's also the subject of popular relationship guides. Why is this 60-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love - and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim went on a years-long journey to understand it from the inside out.
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Failed to Attach
- By Danielle SeCheverell on 07-21-20
By: Peter Lovenheim
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The Marshmallow Test
- Mastering Self-Control
- By: Walter Mischel
- Narrated by: Alan Alda
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In The Marshmallow Test, Mischel explains how self-control can be mastered and applied to challenges in everyday life - from weight control to quitting smoking, overcoming heartbreak, making major decisions, and planning for retirement. With profound implications for the choices we make in parenting, education, public policy and self-care, The Marshmallow Test will change the way you think about who we are and what we can be.
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Great performance, but lacking in content
- By Hilary - San Francisco on 09-27-14
By: Walter Mischel
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How to Raise a Boy
- The Power of Connection to Build Good Men
- By: Michael C. Reichert
- Narrated by: Adam Grupper
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Michael C. Reichert draws on his 30 years of experience researching the process by which boys become men to provide a road map for parents and educators who hope to help the boys they love and care about grow into strong, emotionally intelligent, and compassionate men.
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Good overall information, but a but lacking how-to
- By Dima on 01-12-21
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The Sibling Effect
- What the Bonds among Brothers and Sisters Reveal about Us
- By: Jeffrey Kluger
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nobody affects us as deeply as our brothers and sisters - not parents, not children, not friends. From the time we - and they - are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to, how to conduct friendships and when to walk away.
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This is the only book I never finished
- By Rob on 06-25-12
By: Jeffrey Kluger
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A User's Guide to the Brain
- Perception, Attention, and the Four Theaters of the Brain
- By: John J. Ratey
- Narrated by: Eric Martin
- Length: 16 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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John Ratey, best-selling author and clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lucidly explains the human brain's workings, and paves the way for a better understanding of how the brain affects who we are. Ratey provides insight into the basic structure and chemistry of the brain, and demonstrates how its systems shape our perceptions, emotions, and behavior. By giving us a greater understanding of how the brain responds to the guidance of its user, he provides us with knowledge that can enable us to improve our lives.
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Great book, mediocre narration
- By Dr. B on 09-25-18
By: John J. Ratey
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The Bond
- Connecting Through the Space Between Us
- By: Lynne McTaggart
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the best-selling author of The Intention Experiment and The Field comes a groundbreaking new work---a book that uses the interconnectedness of mind and matter to demonstrate that the key to life is in the relationship between things. We are always connected with others, hardwired at our most elemental level---from the quantum level to the cellular, from personal relationships to business and societal structures.
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Horrible narrator
- By Cotran on 09-19-11
By: Lynne McTaggart
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Wow! An amazing amount of harm reduction info!
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This book identifies seven stages of therapy that provide a framework for working with client's emotional, cognitive, somatic, and sensory experiences to heal from trauma. Through composite case illustrations, practitioners will learn how to safely mitigate a range of trauma content, including complicated grief, natural disaster, children in foster care, aggression, toxic divorce, traumatized infants diagnosed with neonatal abstinence syndrome, and young mothers recovering from opioid addiction.
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Artistic and hands-on activities for children with Trauma
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Aggression in Play Therapy
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Offers play therapists practical ways of handling a pervasive issue with intense and aggressive play by their clients. With an understanding of aggressive play based on brain function and neuroscience, this book provides therapists with a framework to work authentically with aggressive play, while making it an integrative and therapeutic experience for the child.
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I learned so much!
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Nurturing Resilience
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Kathy L. Kain and Stephen J. Terrell draw on 50 years of their combined clinical and teaching experience to provide this clear road map for understanding the complexities of early trauma and its related symptoms. Experts in the physiology of trauma, the authors present an introduction to their innovative somatic approach that has evolved to help thousands improve their lives. Synthesizing across disciplines - Attachment, Polyvagal, Neuroscience, Child Development Theory, Trauma, and Somatics - this book provides a new lens through which to understand safety and regulation.
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What listeners say about Born for Love
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- Jeffrey Olsen
- 09-24-18
Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz make their case that caring about others, developed through encouraging and promoting Empathy, is perhaps among the most currently critical challenges to modern society. They suggest that empathy, the capacity to care personally about people, is one of the most valuable characteristics of humanity. The challenges to our world, the problems which societies face everywhere, are problems best solved by applying our precious capacity to imagine ourselves in the place of one another. The basic idea of doing unto others as you would have others do unto you, is a fundamental ethical standard which translates into the idea of Empathy. They suggest that Empathy should prevail, but can easily be lost or discarded if not pursued purposefully. Empathy is a powerful and potent psychological tool which can, like any other idea or instrument, be effectively used or misused. There are societal circumstances, mental disorders, dysfunctional families, cults and certain illnesses all around us which can and do, disregard, endanger, threaten and sometimes abuse empathic techniques. The ability to imagine, to think, to feel even to act not as oneself but as if you were someone else, experiencing life in “another person’s shoes”, varies vastly from one person to the next. The ability to empathize changes enormously with time, place, circumstance and situation. Good movies, books and stories told through countless mediums are those where our empathy is greatest, we’re transported out of our own lives, we can’t help but loose ourselves in the compelling lives of the characters, the time and places, situations, challenges, losses and successes which belong to them, not us. Strong narratives are stories we’re told where we can’t help but be pulled into empathic roles. Our imagination takes hold of our consciousness, along with it our thoughts, feelings and emotions are hijacked. The idea of being in someone else’s place, living their life, becomes so real to us that we can’t help but feel for them. Some people simply do not bother, others simply cannot, imagine themselves as anyone else, they can’t get any sense for what others might feel, think or experience.
“Born For Love” considers empathy and it’s absence in the case of childhood developmental diseases. The Autism spectrum of illnesses are conditions of disconnected minds and thought processes pathologically detached from feelings and experiences to a such a significant degree that it causes them to fail to achieve normal developmental milestones. They do not use speech, hear and say words, communicate, interact and/or physically perform functions such as walking, normally at the rate most children do. Their human functional capacity is negatively affected by a defect of mind. Autism spectrum individuals have significant problems perceiving or imagining the ideas, thoughts or feelings of other people. They are said to be “mind-blind” oblivious to the thoughts of others to varying degrees but in such a way that impacts their behavior, relationships and development. They live in the concrete, the here and now.
Empathy is one of the most human, humane and noble of mankind’s qualities which should be encouraged, supported and prized. Empathy is a precious gift only present when shared.
Perry and Szalavitz do not go into this aspect of empathy which is a critique I humbly offer. Maia’s shared history of addiction and recovery which she so beautifully presented in “Unbroken Brain” taps into empathy’s critical role in addiction. That’s what I was looking for. Maybe I missed it but I did not hear her offer much in regard to the foundational importance of empathy in recovery from addiction. Empathy’s role in the spiritual and psychological aspect of addiction recovery is so huge. 12-step recovery programs are basically founded on psychological principles like honesty, courage, open-mindedness, accountability, trust and empathy. They are so closely linked to fundamental spiritual ideas like higher-power, faith, hope and prayer You could argue that the “spirit of recovery” is empathy. The 12th step of AA suggest that the sobriety of one person is dependent on empathy for the alcoholic who is still suffering. Both the awful thought of what it is like to be an out of control drinker, the schadenfreude and the compassion evoked. Then from the empathic view from the other side. The drinker’s empathy to imagine himself sober, what it might be like to be in the recovery AA’s shoes. Bill Wilson did such a great job of portraying scenario, a therapeutic and effective encounter upon telling his story in the big book of AA. Upon receiving his friend Ebby, while Bill was still drinking, he could not help but empathize, consider what it might be like being in the sober position of his friend. While Ebby clearly was not tempted to drink as he looked compassionately upon the painful sight of his friend Bill languishing in his drunken misery. Empathy and compassion were the prevailing conditions of this encounter which served as the prototype of the 12th step of AA and countless future encounters to come since. The empathy and capacity for compassion which follows, for a recovering AA to share the experience of sobriety with the inebriated potential AA is one of the fundamental keys of recovery.
Empathy prevails, or should prevail in the rooms of recovery.
Empathy is indeed something worth treasuring, promoting and fighting for in every aspect. It is one of the most valuable human qualities. Seeing things through one another’s minds eye is something magical in many ways, a beautiful shared consciousness which discourages hostility, aggression and selfishness. The more I consider it the stronger I feel about it. Literally empathy is only present when shared and shared feelings by definition are empathic and best when they permeate all relationships, communication and negotiation. This book is a good start but there is so much more to be said about empathy.
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- Stubbegubbe
- 02-03-20
I wish I knew this when I raised my children
awesome. insightful based on research and real life experience.
if I had known only 10 per cent when I raised my own children...
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- Eric T.
- 08-29-21
Amazing as always
Dr Perry’s books are always amazing and well worth the reading. Anyone in the helping profession should be required to read them.
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- Samuel Shapiro
- 08-15-21
Perfect Mix of Storytelling and Scientific Study
While this book focuses heavily on the empathy developed in childhood and infants, this book does make it clear that it can be developed and improved throughout life. I thought that was an excellent point to be made and providong a sense of hope to readers.
The book also highlights the work of others in studying and developing empathy. It also includes specific policies and practices we can use as individuals and society to foster the growth of empathy.
His statements based on research and personal stories from people he works or spoke to compliment each other perfectly. The audio and reader were also great.
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- Sharon P.
- 05-23-21
I'm hopeful
Most of the studies in this book are not recent, but the hope for children is. I found this book after reading Oprah Winfrey's book, "What Happened to you," which includes Dr. Perry. I wish Dr. Perry had narrated this book because I wondered if the inflection and emphasis in some section would have been different. I love learning about the force behind these programs that will slowly alter American society and IMHO make this country shine as a leader in humane growth.
Considering what we know about the pervasiveness and impact of adverse childhood experiences, it seems intuitive that we would focus on treating childhood trauma as our first concern in education. We know what works and that the problems span every part of society, but the focus in education is academic achievement and discipline. Achievement is what we measure as progress and anything that interferes with 'that progress' is a burden to taxpayers that should be excluded or molded for the sake of the good children and good schools. Framing our goal as empathy and our expectations of childhood where trauma as common, changes the paradigm of what we should be measuring schools on. How empathetic our our schools, day care, and psychologists? Why do women need to see a trauma psychologist when experiencing spousal abuse to avoid the focus on saving the marriage as a social solution?
I especially liked the discussion on diet, exercise, and human touch as a basic need with massive therapeutic benefit. The discussion on the influence of oxytocin in the mother child bond is long overdue. We are biological creatures on an unstable landscape and the temptation to address violence with violent discipline is truly in our DNA.
I am afraid that parental inclusion in public education is problematic. My experience is that of educators,including special ed teachers, collaborating with administrators to bully weak parents in schools where soccer moms rules in political armies. I don't think schools can reach these goals through self-governance. Perhaps a check and balance system outside of school influence that oversees empathy and health, with the authority to insure s a child's needs are appropriately addressed, would be more effective than our current system. (Something more accessible that suing the school for special ed resource which is ineffective).
We have missed the boat on diet and exercise , so, I guess progress is slow. I like to study children in history because I am more hopeful progress is evolving.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-12-21
40 year Psychologist loves and recommends this book
Wonderful!! Full of the greatest known research in the area and eloquently presented. Very interesting to read or listen to. Answers most of the pressing questions and issues of our time. Empathy and Love is the foundation of our health, relationships and moral foundation. Thank you for all your efforts and expertise in bringing us this seminal material!!
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- Sharon Killen
- 03-23-19
Maybe the most important book written this century
If you have a child, know an elderly person or live near or work with other people of any age, you should read or listen to this book. I truly believe that it will change your life.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-01-16
love
This book is fantastic. Dr. Perry presents Information in a way that is interesting & informative.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-08-15
important in understanding human behavior
Well written story of how and why human babies need empathy from the moment they are born.
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- Jennifer Lewis
- 03-17-24
Facinating
Wonderfully written, educational, inspirational, and enlightening. I would love to hear the Authors opinions of the effects Covid has had on society and empathy.
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