When I go to download the episode, on my way to upload it to the 'machine', I'm told by Google, that the file is too large, for Google, to scan for viruses - but I do it anyway. It's been ages since I've had a virus. Viruses are virulent, don't get me wrong, but I just don't know if computer viruses are a thing anymore. Sure, phishing, smishing (SMS phishing), Pig butchering, Carding, Catfishing, Click fraud, Clickjacking, Cramming, Cryptocurrency scams, Cybercrime, and CyberThrills are everywhere ... and those are the ones that mainly start with the letter C, but it's been a long time since I've seen a computer virus. Computer virus starts with a C too lol. I really hope I don't get a virus now that I'm talking about not being "in tune" with the computer virus news of late. You, the reader, probably don't even know who I, the author, am, and I intend to keep it that way, you. Anyway, one hell of an episode here. Dinosaur bones are yours to have, the Orkneys are doling out bananas, Kit Kats are missing, Mark is running for office again, and sharks are on all sorts of drugs, including caffeine. Terrible, I know. Fascinating stuff happening around the world, and we are here to report on it, for you, the listener.

(Me on the phone) ... "Yep, sounds good, okay, sounds good, alright bye!" Hey there listener, sorry, I was on the phone. Important call! Anyway, new ep right here. We hit all the topics you, the listener, love. Family trees, stumps, airbnbs, arrests, warrants, flashing lights, ticking clocks, the sounds of train horns blasting through your window at night as you sleep. Wait, sorry, the train horn sounds were for another podcast! Train Horn Monthly. You know it? You listen to it? Not to toot my own horn, but I also do the descriptions for Train Horn Monthly, the Podcast. Also, it's a weekly podcast. I'm always like, what the heck you guys, your podcast is called Train Horn Monthly but it's coming out every week? Talk about misleading! A train horn is a sonic beacon, it CANNOT mislead. If the train horn were to mislead, we'd be in deep doo-doo every single day. A single pull of the string that's attached to some pneumatic canister of air, sent through a horn, and out of a horned bell, and into your ears, that's how the train horn works. Nothing misleading about that. Well, this podcast episode is similar to that, except it's less about train horns and more about hard hitting global news. Enjoy!

There is an old saying about podcasts. I can't remember what it is, but I'm sure you already know it! Your grandpa probably said it to you at least once a month. If I think of it, I will tell you. If I can't well, then we're both sh...it out of luck. What the hell's that one mean? That's a pretty old saying. Damn! Even "there's an old saying" is pretty much an old saying by now. When did it hit the "old saying" quotient? Like when did the "there's an old saying" become an old saying? What's older? The shit out of luck one or there's an old saying? I'm completely unsure if anyone reads these. The show is good, what more do you need to know? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just curious. I guess I never read these, but it depends on the podcast. Some podcasts, if it's like serious stuff, I think I'll read the 'show notes', but otherwise, I probably don't. I always see the text, but I'm never reading it I guess. Anyway, there's an old saying about podcasts. I'm sure your grandpa has said it before ...

Hello listeners! We are back from the deepest caves and caverns, and we think we will be OK, we think.

This week's episodes hits some of our favorites in terms of "news" - stuff like telephones, Barbie dolls, Guinness Book of World Records, oryx's and antelopes, and the great state of Tennessee. We cover, roosters, dieting, murder and more!

Please enjoy this here episode, we know you will like it!

Dear listeners, We are currently on the first annual Come Spelunk With Us trip deep inside the deepest caverns, caves, and dwellings the United States of America has to offer. We are worried Jon has left us. We will talk again next week.

It's time for some news. It's News O'Clock and the hosts of America's Last Newsroom have it RIGHT here. We encourage you to listen with your best pair of earbuds, or in your most suitable automobile, and dig in. I say this with MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE. This week we learn about pigs, we an elected official who is a Dingus, Waffle House pugilists, frying pan wakeup calls, and we learn a lesson from a piece of the Reese family. May Dick Van Dyke Live Forever - MDVDLF

The news hits, we cover it. It's hitting all the time. We cover it. Lots of news to catch up with on this episode. Yep that's right, we're back at the Olympics Desk, the Winter Olympics Desk to be exact. Plenty of news, very little booze, available at these Olympics, but fear not, there are other things happening at the Olympics that we'll cover, if you just listen to the podcast. I don't feel like I need to explain the full episode. Take your own notes? I donno. Ok, love you, bye bye!

And just like that, we finished another week, and of course, with that - comes a lot of news. With news, comes our highly unique perspective. Our perspective ... well, it's highly unique. That's our news guarantee. Anyway, the stories we did this week range from The Beatles causing absolute panic, the graciousness of Thai people, armed Olympians and Little Caesars pizza! More to come, next week ...